When It’s Time to Bite the Bullet

Four score and about two years ago, give or take, I had a bit of an issue with the Bear’s hair. He was a beautiful goldilocks of a lad, and I just couldn’t bring myself to cut those precious curls. Eventually I had enough strangers ask, “How old is she?” that I finally gave in and did a chop.

It was like this before:

Thoughtful BearAnd like this during the big chop:

The During

And afterwards, he was a grown up little Bear.

Grown UpI didn’t want to cut the Tank’s hair because it felt like a letting go kind of moment… saying goodbye to adorable curls and hello to he’s not a baby anymore.

It was getting bad.

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But a lovely little curl like this is hard to say goodbye to.

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What are you looking at?

I’ll be the first to admit I have no idea where the expression “bite the bullet” comes from. Would you like to leave a comment to explain? Who bites bullets?

But finally today, it was warm enough for an outdoor hair cut (less mess) so I bit the bullet, metaphorically speaking, of course, and gave those curls a crop.

The End.

xCC

 

 

Oh! Did you want to see the results?

Well okay.

After I show you how much the Bear looked like his Dad today — I couldn’t believe how much I could see the Hero Hubs when I took this picture while taking those pictures above to document the curls I was waving goodbye to.

TanksHairCut 008It’s a four-year-old version of Hero Hubs — except this one’s brunette!

So, returning to the story, the curls got the chop.

TanksHairCut 002And I’d say the Tank is better for it — who has the nickname ‘Tank’ and curls? Except for maybe a few rugby players, I can’t think of anybody.

Nope, still can’t.

This was when he expressed disappointment that it wasn’t time to go to my Mom’s house.

TanksHairCut 001Obviously not phased by the loss of his curls, whatsoever.

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So we all lived happily ever after.

The End.

For real this time.

xCC

 

 

 

 

 

Ten Things That Are Rocking My New Year

Yesterday I shared about a book called Organized Simplicity. It has been an inspiration to me in a season of wondering how I will ever manage to manage my household and do it well.

Yes, manage to manage. To manage to manage. I could go on.

Today I thought I’d share some practical steps I’ve taken to change the way I do things around la casa de Collie. They are making a big difference – even if they’re just slightly de-whelming my own over-whelmed feelings about the possibility of doing this motherhood gig well – and for that I am grateful.

1. Decide What to Do With The Day

This seems totally obvious. But, to my credit, before I started this motherhood gig, for all but one year of my life from the age of four, an educational system was deciding what I was going to do with my day. I didn’t really give my time management a lot of thought, because my time pretty much surrounded school, school work and the jobs I was loafing around at in between. Four years into motherhood, I have finally begun devoting time to deciding what I do with my day. Thanks to inspiration from the book and a Daily Docket download over at SimpleMom.net, I’m taking five or ten minutes either first thing in the morning or the night before, to actually figure out what the most important things are that I want to try to accomplish with the day I’ve been given.

I have to take a little extra time to emphasize this one, because, if you’re anything like me (do I ask that question every week or what?) you have found yourself standing in the center of any given number of rooms in your house, with a dazed, deer-in-headlights look on your face, thinking hmm, I have twenty minutes before the kid will wake up or the dryer will buzz or … what should I do with them? And that is when the list comes to the rescue. Having some purposeful organization to how I’m spending my time is nothing short of magical. I get to the end of the day, look at some checkmarks and breathe a happy sigh that I know what I’ve accomplished. This simple action helps me make decisions about what to do next all day long, without having to stop and think it all over again. And when I haven’t checked something off, well, it helps me get started on the list for tomorrow.

I am also learning to breathe and celebrate, with grace, the days where nothing on the list is going to get checked off. Because that’s okay. More on that another day.

2. Think About the When

You know what really stinks? When poor scheduling means you not only get your own day off to a bad start, but you start your spouse’s day badly for him, too. I have been doing this kind, kind gesture for the Hubs almost once a week on a Tuesday or Wednesday, when he needs to hop on his bike by 8:15 to get to Greenville for staff meeting or work at 9:00. It really stinks to give him a kiss and send him out the door knowing I’ve stressed him out by making him late because I am not managing things well.

There was an obvious and simple solution — but it took me taking a step back and, um, using my brain…, to see it. Take a shower before the kids wake up, or the night before. Lightbulb! This obvious little tweak to the system made a huge difference — the first day I rearranged things to make sure I wasn’t going to make him late for work by asking him to keep an eye on the boys while I got my shower, he specifically thanked me before walking out the door. It went something like this:

This is wonderful. It’s 8:12 and I have everything together and I’m not rushed heading out the door. Thank you very much.

That was so worth it. All of this boiled down to a basic principle? Don’t just think about what you’re doing with your time – think about when you’re doing it, and whether that’s the best choice.

3. I’m Continuing with Reduced Poo

I mentioned once ages ago — you might remember — that I decided to try going no-poo. If you have no idea what I’m talking about you’re probably very concerned, so let me set you straight. You see, it basically seems — I’m not usually one for sticking it to the Man but hear me out — that we have become almost unanimously convinced by Johnson & Johnson and associates that we need to shampoo our hair at least every couple of days, if not daily, in order to not be gross in public. At least three-quarters of us think this, I think. Half the time. But it turns out, most hair types can completely skip shampoo all together {yes really} and use baking soda and vinegar to clean their hair and — get this — perhaps only need to do that every five to seven days or so. Yeah. Is your head spinning? Because mine was. Apparently that shampoo in your shower is stripping the natural oils in your hair, encouraging them to overproduce, and therefore causing you to need to wash more often. Maybe that’s the deal, anyway.

I decided to try going no-poo after reading a fabulous post by Beth Dreyer about going no-poo. I was preggers at the time, and had a wedding in South Africa and another in Scotland ahead of me, so after trying for a couple of weeks, I decided it might be a rough time to tinker with the baking soda and vinegar experience in order to figure out exactly what made my hair happy. Hormonal imbalances and all. But in the process of at least beginning to stretch it out and try, I figured out that I can actually go about five days before I need to shampoo my hair. I think it would be longer if it wasn’t for the bangs/fringe I am usually sporting. I am pondering whether keeping the fringe is a high maintenance decision. {Thoughts?}

Now if you haven’t thought about this before, let the wheels spin for a minute. I am going to try the baking soda and vinegar routine when I run out of shampoo again, but even just washing my hair once every five days or so has a ton of magical consequences. I save a ridiculous amount of time in the shower, using a blow dryer, and using straighteners. I save money on shampoo and conditioner and electricity and I use less hot water. Boom. I save time in the store looking for shampoo and conditioner. Our mornings are a whole lot smoother. It works out better for me to shower the night before since I don’t have to wash my hair and worry that the blow dryer will wake a baby. I’m reducing the number of chemicals I’m scrubbing into my epidermis on a regular basis. I could keep going, but you get the idea.

So, do so homework about going no-poo, or at least consider the possibility that you are washing your hair a lot more often than you need to. And — don’t let this completely blow your mind — if you have dry scalp, it could be that instead of washing your hair more often with Head & Shoulders, you actually need to wash it and blow dry it less. And that could help more. For less. Wow.

4. A Chore Chart for the Bear

On the parenthood front, one little adjustment has been a really good one. I started a chore chart with the Bear. I personally insisted to myself that I had to come up with chores that would make less and not more work for me. Right now he unloads the silverware from the dishwasher, usually in the morning before preschool. I pull a chair up to the drawer and he goes to town. He also gathers the laundry from our bedroom and his bedroom into a big laundry bucket he can carry, and takes it to the laundry room before preschool. He tidies up his toys before nap time and before bed time, and he helps me set the table at dinner time.

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Good thing North Carolina child labor laws are lax — he earns a penny for each of those chores. We put a sticker on the chore chart and at the end of the week, we count up his chores and put money in three jars — the “God” jar for the 10% he’ll bring to church, the “Save” jar which he will have to hold onto for a while, and the “Spend” jar which he can blow on race cars or bubble gum if he wants to. He is four — and introducing the concept of hard work earning a fair reward, counting and math, spending and saving and giving — it is all good stuff. He loves it and I love that it is much easier to get his help now. And already having the laundry right there every day when it’s laundry time…man that does help. He does other things that will not count towards the chore chart, because I also want him to understand that he’s part of the team and will have to help around here. I digress. Let’s move on.

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5. Decide to Make a Plan

One of the most insurmountable challenges I’ve been forced to face in motherhood is trying to keep a reasonably tidy home. It is hard for me because I hate cleaning more than I like the results after I’ve cleaned. But obviously, it has to be done. So I spent some time deciding what the things are that need to happen at least every couple of weeks in order to not have anyone call Social Services because my children are living in a dump. I assigned one of those tasks to each weekday, and they rotate on a bi-weekly basis. For example, I mop the kitchen floors on Mondays (every other Monday), wash our sheets and towels every other Tuesday (the kids’ on the opposite Tuesday), clean the surfaces in the bathrooms every other Wednesday, and so on.

This works really well for me — even if I miss something one week and don’t manage to get it done on a free day later in the week (I don’t have a set chore on Fridays or the weekends) at least I know it’ll come around again in two weeks, which is much better than knowing that from probably October to early January, my kitchen floor got mopped a total of never. Mmmhmm.

6. Choose your Almost-Always’s

Along those same lines, I have repeatedly discovered that if I aim to do just one load of laundry a day every day except Sunday, I will manage to stay on top of our laundry and it will never feel like a mountain is piling up on top of the basket that sits in my laundry room. It’s okay if I miss a day, generally it will still work out, as long as I aim to just regularly get something started once everyone who showers has showered in the morning. So that’s an almost-always for every morning.

7. Divide your Work (and Conquer)

There are some other obvious chores that happen regularly around here. Exhibit A, I make bread in our breadmaker, usually three or four times a week. This was HH’s suggestion, ages ago, that I finally implemented at the beginning of this year: when I’m measuring the first loaf of the week out and dumping everything in the breadmaker, I measure another two loaves into random jars or containers so that I don’t have to make that big mess, get everything out and measure it all over again, and again. This is another one of those things that seems so simple and obvious, but it just took me deciding to actually do it to realize how much it helped. Now when it’s time to start a loaf I just have to measure and warm up the milk, cut in a little butter, dump in everything that’s already measured and add the yeast. Four minutes tops. And every time I do that, I brings me a heap of joy. It’s like the easy button at Staples. But real.

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8. Hit the Sack, Jack

Yes, I’m a grownup and I can do whatever I want. But. I am a lot like my kids. If I let them stay up super late, they would. They’d fall asleep eventually, sure, but they would be worse for wear the next day. So. Me too. The Hubs and I have purposed to be much more disciplined about getting to bed this year. We decided to close up shop and head to the bedroom, aiming to be in bed by 9:15. From there we have about thirty minutes of Bible reading/quiet time, and we plan to turn the lights off at ten. We usually won’t start watching something if it’s going to take us past 9 pm. (We don’t have cable — we just have Amazon Prime. I can talk about that decision another day if you’re interested.) Now do we do this every night? No. But is it great when we do? Yes.

9. Make Dinner, Double or Nothing

I have become much more disciplined in the way I’m doing meals now. For a long time, I’ve planned ahead the week’s menu in order to know what to shop for. But my love for spending time in the kitchen meant I generally planned a different meal every night. And I spent the leftovers at lunch time. I am now realizing how much better life is in general if I make my time work for me in every area I can. That means I aim to put at least three meals on the menu which I can double. I try to divide what we’re eating — at least in my mind — to make sure we don’t overeat and then not have enough to enjoy the meal again. If the meal is freezable, I will freeze it for another week. If not, we will probably eat it again two nights later. This simple decision is stretching my budget in a very good way, because the things I do for lunch are usually cheaper than the things I do at dinner time, and I am spending less time in the kitchen, less time running the oven, stove, kettle, etc. and less time doing dishes. Can I get an Amen?

10. Reconsider your spaces.

Just before the Belle arrived, we got on a kick where we began rethinking and rearranging some different areas in our home. We thought about things that were a problem and why, and we began working toward solutions. Having our big Mac (the computer hub of Quiver Tree Photography) in the living room where the boys play was just causing a lot of issues (Tank, don’t touch…Tank…Tank!) and it was also a pretty significant risk. Hello, toy car crashing into a monitor… So we moved things around so that it could sit in its own little space in a different room. HH, being the hero he is after all, spent his bonus on an island for the kitchen – workspace has been an issue for me, and I had new pots and pans from my brother and nowhere to put them. We put together a 9-cube storage organizer thing to house the boys’ toys — and all of a sudden life started making more sense.

These simple changes sparked a number of other simple changes. From making the decision to actually complete some projects that will result in my being happy in the spaces where I spend 95% of my every day, to rearranging drawers and cupboards based on criteria that actually make sense and make them more functional — before I’d even started Tsh’s masterpiece of a book, this work was well underway, thanks to us starting with baby steps and moving forward.

Sometimes it’s daunting and overwhelming to think about rearranging things to make your home a more useful place, but it helps to remember getting started is usually the hardest part — just bite the bullet and start somewhere!

So those are a few simple practicalities that have helped get my year off to a good start. Ann Voskamp shared an amazing 25 Point Manifesto for Staying Sane in 2013 that I think you should check out.

How are things going for your 2013? Any tips you want to share?

xCC

Hope for the New Year

While we’re inside this confession box, I’ll willingly admit it. The minute we brought a third child into the mix, here in the US, circumstances as they are, I got a little freaked out. Okay, more than a little. Perhaps not over-whelmed, but at least very-whelmed. I just wasn’t sure how I was going to manage a household, help with a business, wipe noses and bottoms and read stories and cook meals and clean floors and pay bills and design websites … you get the idea … and do it without feeling like I was going to fall apart.

I’m still not totally sure. But I have some hope, and heaven knows I’m thankful for a little extra wisdom.

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The funny thing is, the answer was under my nose the whole time. It’s exactly the way life happens anyway: one day at a time.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. {Matt. 6:34}

I put Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider on my Christmas list, and started reading it a few days before the start of the New Year. The funny thing was, I thought it would probably be full of things I already knew, and I wasn’t sure it would help, but then I read the very first review on Amazon, and I thought “I could’ve written that review — I am so there!” (The before part, not the after part). Thankfully, I got over myself and admitted I needed help, which is apparently the first step anyway… right?

Since this fresh breath of hopeful inspiration entered the lungs of my soul, I’ve still been taking it one day at a time, but I’ve been planning my days with much more purpose. Up till now, I often stopped in the middle of the day, looked around the house completely overwhelmed and thought “Okay, I’ve got twenty minutes to do something with — but there are so many things to do, I don’t know what to choose.” I worked hard throughout the day, but then kind of felt like I had no idea what I had accomplished.

It was kind of like life was living me.

When Organized Simplicity made simple suggestions like planning your day and choosing which tasks are the most important ones to accomplish, it was like a little lightbulb went off. I was inspired to begin rethinking how I do a lot of things, and when I do a lot of things, and why I do (or don’t do) a lot of things.

Tomorrow I’d like to take you through a list of ten of the small changes I’ve made that are beginning to make a big difference in making it seem like managing a household (and doing a lot of other things) is not an insurmountable task. I wanted to start today by just shining a light on this book, since it is already changing my life in a very good way and I haven’t even finished it yet.

To make it easy for you — here’s a little affiliate link to Organized Simplicity on Amazon. I highly recommend putting this book on your list!

More tomorrow!

xCC

Stitched Together Goodness

Some of you might look at this photo and instantly remember where it’s from.

Boltes 039

But some of you might not remember that sweet little Quiver Tree Giveaway around this time last year {we should do that again, hey?} and the photo shoot winners we met in the process. With apologies to the rest of you who entered but didn’t win (I sure did wish all of ya could win) it felt very heaven-ordained that not long after our return from South Africa we had the privilege of meeting this wonderful family, raising two boys from our beloved continent.

The Boltes family – Megan, Samuel, Solomon, and Cameron (I’m listing them as they are pictured above) – have become dear friends to us since then. Their precious sons, from Ethiopia and Uganda, are very close in age to our Scottish-South African-American boys and my heart is so happy when they play together!

They recently shared with us the exciting news that they’ll be adopting another child soon, and this time from South Africa. From the little I understand of the process, international adoptions are absolutely wonderful, heart-wrenchingly difficult, and wallet-pinchingly expensive. The Boltes have been blessed with a grant from an adoption agency that will help cover some of the costs, (about $5,000) but there are still lots more funds to raise to make this miracle happen (somewhere around $15,000.)

As a part of the fund-raising process, Megan took up the craft of sewing and I fell in love with her work instantly and wanted to share it with you. At her sweet etsy shop called “Life, Stitched Together” Megan is selling the beautiful crib quilts she has been stitching with love to assist with the costs of the upcoming adoption.

Wall Hanging

Some quilts ordered by other adoptive families (that one is a wall-hanging) “tell the story” of the adoption. Oh how I love you, polka-dots.

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She will custom-stitch to order and her work is just SO lovely to me.

IMG_8048Gray and yellow, just like the Belle’s nursery!

IMG_8049Do you love that fabric and the contrasting colors? Me too!!

I did a little mini-interview with Megan to ask her a few questions I thought you might have about the quilts and the adoption. My questions are in bold, probably because I have a big head. Here’s how it went.

First, please tell us about yourself! Where are you from? How did you end up in wee Washington?

Cameron was born in Nebraska, and grew up all over the US. I was born and raised in Raleigh, NC. We met our freshman year of college at NCSU. We were married in 2006. Our first son joined our family in 2010. We moved to Washington after career changes for both of us. Cameron was doing full-time ministry, and I was working as a molecular genetic technologist. Our second son was about to join our family, and we knew we had to make a change. I needed to be home with our sons. I was missing so much of their formative young years. So, Cameron found a new job near Washington, and I made the shift to a stay-at-home mom (I still work part-time as a nanny and a science tutor).

Tell us about the quilts. Where did the inspiration come from? Have you been sewing long?

As an adoptive family, we love to celebrate our children’s birth culture and our adoption journeys. What better way to do this than through a child’s nursery and room decor! I love that I can personalize them, and that they will be a treasure for these new families. They are great for adoptive families and nonadoptive families. I can add any applique to the quilts….names, verses, animals, airplanes, etc. I have only been sewing for about 6 months. I took a class at the local community college where I learned the basics so that I could sew curtains for our new home, and I have been hooked ever since!

We (now) know the quilts are a fundraiser for an international adoption. Can you tell us more about that process, and how/why you decided to adopt internationally?

Yes, we are raising funds for travel to be united with our new child. The adoption process is like nothing else. Full of lots of paperwork, a lot of prayer, a lot of excitement and maybe a few tears. Right now, we are working on updating our homestudy. We then will be approved by USCIS to adopt a foreign-born child. We then will wait to be matched with a child by our agency. They look at many things to make this match, but really want an environment where the particular child will thrive. We then will wait for a court date, and then travel to meet our child and go to court. We will be in-country for 2 weeks, and then once issued a visa be able to come home with our child. We chose to adopt internationally…that is a loaded question with an uninspired answer…but we prayed through the different avenues of adoption and ended up at international adoption.

What has it been like for each of your boys as they have transitioned to life in a new country?

Our boys transitions to life with a family were very different from each other. Both full of miracles, learning and grace (for everyone involved).

Are there other items you’re sewing besides quilts?

The main focus is custom adoption and name quilts, but there a few necklaces made with Ethiopian paper beads, and aprons. I will also be adding custom stockings and garland in a few months.

How would you like to be contacted if people would like to place an order for some Stitched Together magic?

The easiest way is through the etsy shop. Or our neglected blog is at Our Life 2-Gether.

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How’s that for a lovely story, friends? If you need a special gift, or have a friend who is expecting (or mayhaps some of you are??) I hope you will check out Megan’s shop at http://www.etsy.com/shop/LifeStitchedTogether. And you can take a peek to see the little banner I created for her! {Do you like the tag line? 🙂 }

Knowing how awesomesauce and generous you guys are, I thought you might like to know that you can also make a donation to assist with the costs of the Boltes upcoming adoption at http://adopttogether.org/theboltes/.

Have a lekker weekend, guys and dolls!

xCC 

Stuff I Love {And Wanted to Share}

Thought I’d share a few personal favourites with you on this fine Friday morning.

Who knows why.

Just thought I would.

This is probably one of my most favourite photos from all of 2012.

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My goodness, I love those boys!

And this is one of my favourites from 2013 so far: what the Tank looks like when he wakes up from a nap.

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This book, my favourite thing I’m reading right now, is doing good things in my life. More on that later.

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My favourite parenthood story at the moment: A few days after Christmas I was changing the Belle’s diaper on the floor near the Christmas tree. She seemed to like her view and surroundings so much, I decided to cuddle her up with blankets and leave her there for a few minutes. (The Tank was napping so this was a safe move.)

I got busy with something in the kitchen for a few minutes and then thought I heard her crying. I returned to the den to find this scene:

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Be still my heart.

Although the Bear is a very good reader, he isn’t quite on top of The Enormous Elephant Show yet. But he is very good at discerning, based on the pictures, the general gist of the story, in order to weave such a compelling tale his sister was absolutely riveted. At least for long enough that I could grab a few snaps. 🙂

There is a delightful font called Bergamot that is basically just a bunch of fun little ornaments – my favourite graphic design element at the moment. Besides fake chalkboards. You can download it here. Have fun and thank me later. {Thanks to the tip I found on pinterest from nest of posies, you can also download chalkboard backgrounds here. It’s like decorating the Quiver Tree Gallery all over again. Wheeeee! } Look at this quality fun stuff:

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My favourite Scripture verse at the moment is one I’m pondering incorporating into our family life in a more tangible way:

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. {Ephesians 4:32}

I would really like to raise these boys to be strong men of character and integrity, but I sure would like for them to be tender-hearted, too.

So. Do you have any favourites worth mentioning at the moment? Leave a comment and enjoy your weekend!

xCC