Aug 20, 2010 | Guest Posts, Stories
Hey guys and gals! I’m so enjoying having my Mom around. (As you can see — picture below — someone else is, too!) And I really enjoyed hearing thoughts from so many of you about ultrasounds, pregnancy and the like in response to Wednesday’s post. {Thanks for being gracious enough to read and comment even though that post was poorly written and not well explained.} I hope (and plan) for the discussion to continue … we have like 27 weeks to go!
I realised afterwards that I didn’t exactly clarify one or two points that I thought I’d mention here before moving on (in case you’re not the kind of person who checks back to read through the comments and replies!) I am likely to have a few ultrasounds over the course of this pregnancy. I want to keep them to a minimum because I don’t think they’re as necessary as we think they are, especially since becoming aware of a disability is not going to alter the course of this pregnancy for us. We are exercising thought and caution as we navigate procedures in a new country (pregnancy is WAY different changing from Scotland to South Africa!) and considering all the decisions about each appointment, test, and scan, our thinking is far from over. (Although I won’t have amniocentesis or CVS and that’s for sure.)
What I was specifically trying to explain was that I’m not going to share ultrasound pictures on the internet, and why I feel that way. We aren’t sure yet about finding out if it is a boy or girl this time around, either. The Bear was a surprise, although we felt like we knew he was a boy. This time I am much more excited about knowing…but not decided for sure! Hope that helps clear things up…and let the discussion continue!
Anywho, I am a guest post-er over at Pure Life today! And that’s why I’m asking if you believe in the Burger King God. You just might, so click over to the Pure Life Conference blog to read more! (I’m not sure what the link is yet, and they’ve changed the layout, but it should be under Grow Spiritually!)
Love you guys. We’re travelling to Knysna today — hope we can catch up soon!
xCC
Aug 19, 2010 | The Good Word, The Parenthood
In case you’re wondering, the Bear had a delightful birthday yesterday! Thanks for all the well-wishes! I hope to have some pictures from the fabulous event here for you, soon!
Early one morning a few weeks ago, a little interaction went on inside my brain that has had me thinking for a while. The Bear got up early and after we ate our breakfast, I had a choice to make. The Bear wanted to watch TV, and at first I thought that might be a very good idea. Sometimes on Saturdays if the Bear gets up early and Hero Hubs and I want to sleep a little longer, we put a DVD in to keep him entertained. This could mean another 45 minutes or so of snoozing, which never hurts. And this weekday morning, another 30 – 45 minutes on the couch while the Bear was entertained sounded like a really good idea.
But then another thought came to mind: is this short-term decision lining up with my long-term goals? You see, one of my long-term goals is to raise the Bear (and other wee ones that come along) in such a way that he does not need to be entertained in order to be happy. I would like for him to learn to play with his books and toys and puzzles and not need the TV on all day long (or really at all). I realised that the decision to start snoozing in on weekdays with the Bear staring at the Wonder Pets or Veggie Tales could quickly become an everyday habit that would take months to break, and be tough for the Bear to say bye bye to.
This led me to begin thinking about the daily schedule that I have needed to spend time thinking through. The truth is, we only have so many hours in a day — only so many days on this earth, and if we don’t direct a decent portion of our time to achieving our goals, we just won’t achieve them. There’s some writing on my heart that is bigger than a blog post, but if I don’t set time aside for it, it won’t happen. I want a strong marriage, but if I fail to plan time to spend quality time with my husband, we run the risk of failing to cultivate a healthy and growing relationship. I want the Bear to know that he can come to me at any time — I want to build a healthy relationship with him, too — so I purposefully spend time reading to him, taking him for walks, and even just playing with him.
How many times have you looked at the clock and realised you just wasted a half hour on Facebook? Maybe longer? Or how often have you been drawn in to watching a movie on TV you’ve already seen twice? Did you end up going to bed later than you intended? And because of it you ended up waking up later than you planned, maybe finding yourself unable to spend time in prayer or reading the Word? Were you tired all day, too? The thing is, if we don’t decide how we’re going to spend our time, something else will decide for us. If you have goals you want to achieve, odds are, a lot of those goals aren’t going to be achieved while you’re on Facebook.
So teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
{Psalm 90:12}
A lot of folks personally responded to me recently saying that it was time to stop existing and start living again. While I probably have a book’s worth of suggestions for making that transition, I think one thing that makes a lot of us come alive is taking the time to think about what we’re passionate about, and then making a plan for how to make that a part of our lives. Do you need to set aside a few hours a week to volunteer in a Crisis Pregnancy Centre? Is there a book on your heart you could spend thirty minutes a day beginning to put on paper? May you need to get your mountain bike out of the garage, and make getting out there a priority on your schedule.
Whatever the passion, whatever that come-alive thing is that your day has been missing, let today be the day that you grab the bull by the horns and plan to make the dream a reality. Put it in your schedule and stick to it. Ask someone to hold you accountable.
I am confident you’ll feel a lot more like getting out of bed in the morning if you’re living your life, instead of life living you.
xCC
Aug 18, 2010 | The Parenthood
It’s the Bear’s birthday today! He is two years old and he had a nice and needed hair cut yesterday, so I’m looking forward to taking pictures of his special party and sharing all the happy of celebrating our little happy with you guys! {His name means happy, in case that didn’t make sense to you.}
In the meantime, I’m answering a recent query based on things I said in this post. I hope I don’t lose you on this one. I’ll do my best to explain this to the best of my ability. You see, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about all things prenatal. To expound on that, I spent close to two years working on a PhD related to prenatal testing and people with disabilities. And there are just some things that make me uncomfortable about the direction things related to pregnancy seem to be headed in our world.
If there is any space on Earth that I think should be a protected, sacred space, it’s the space where unborn babies reside. It seems like a lot of people don’t like the word womb these days. But you get the idea. That space.
And though we might think that today we can explain how this miracle comes about…how bones are formed, how genes make decisions, how a heart suddenly starts beating, still I don’t feel like we have this sacred space figured out. While all the knitting together is taking place, I am simultaneously convinced this new soul is arriving, this piece of forever that will take on human flesh for a little while. The eternal part of us, that most of us believe lives on long after our days are through. I want to honour that special, sacred space, where all these amazing things happen.
And {reminder: this is a blog, these are my opinions!} I feel like we dishonour this sacred space when we begin making judgements about what’s happening there. When Down’s Syndrome, and even cleft palates, can cause us to decide what’s happening should be stopped. When based on our own assessments of that special space we decide there’s not enough value there to allow things to continue.
Am I saying no to ultrasounds? No. Am I saying no to other prenatal testing? A lot of it, yeah. And for me, when a picture of this tiny little person is pasted on the internet for scrutiny before he or she has even arrived…it just doesn’t sit right in my soul.
I also feel like there is a bit of specialness lost when the announcement is made six months before the little one arrives, “This is Oliver Edward Smith, and he’ll arrive on February 1, 2011 if he’s punctual.â€
{I will stop here to make sure it’s clear that these are just *my preferences and opinions* and I by no means feel that anyone else needs to adhere to them.}
When childbirth becomes just another medical procedure, abortions for disabilities become the norm, elective c-sections are just like any other routine surgery, and the arrival of a new person into the world is more like a “glad to see you on the outside†than a “this is the miracle of life — Someone has just been born!†moment, I just feel like we’re missing some element of the giftedness of life. Of seeing a little one’s arrival, looking them over and saying, “You’re not an Oliver after all. I think you’re David, and I’m so glad you’re here.â€
I may not completely be making sense to all of you. It is difficult to communicate what it is that I feel is missing when screening after screening and ultrasound after ultrasound, happy as long as it’s healthy determines a successful pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong — seeing this little one dancing about in my belly a few weeks ago was a special privilege I won’t soon forget. But regardless of who doctors might tell me she (or he but I think she!) is, she is first of all ours. A gift from the Lord. A blessing and a reward. And a person worthy of love and care and attention and protection, especially at this stage in her story.
And I want you to meet her when we meet her face to face. Because I don’t want her to be on the internet before she’s even born. I don’t want folks on the four corners of the earth making judgements about her based on a squiggly black and white image or two. As silly as it may sound, I want to protect her, and keep the sacred space where God is doing amazing things right now just that. Sacred. Private. Protected. Set apart.
Like a seed being planted which will eventually bloom, something beautiful is happening in me. But rather than digging up the earth to find out what’s going on underground, I’d like to be patient and wait to see what is meant to be seen once it’s in full bloom.
And while I could scratch my head to find more eloquence and perhaps some better arguments, sometimes I think I’m better off just letting you know that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Something special is taking place. And we can share the joy when, pushed through the dirt, it’s in full bloom and ready to shine.
Perhaps you’ll be willing to enjoy a few maternity pics until then? And, by the way, I’d love to hear your thoughts. We might have a discussion about birth control before all this is over with. 🙂
xCC
Aug 17, 2010 | Travel..ling Tuesdays
Happy Tuesday!! Hope your week is off to a great start! My Mom is HERE and I am LOVING LOVING LOVING IT! Will have some fresh Travelling Tuesdays for you coming from the adventures we’ll have together over the next two weeks! Whoo-hoo! And thanks for your prayers. She and all her luggage arrived safely, and we easily found each other at the airport and I am JUST SO GLAD SHE’S HERE!
I am delighted to share some shots with you from one of the Shoes of Hope distributions we did with the missions team last week. We were at a tiny primary school near Rawsonville, which is about forty-five minutes east of Cape Town. Does telling you minutes instead of miles make me a city girl? These kids live in a wine region, so most of their parents work in vineyards nearby. Situated in a beautiful valley surrounded by stunning mountains, if you visit, you’ll find the juxtaposition of breathtaking landscapes and heart-challenging poverty. It’s like the poverty is surrounded by beauty, but there is beauty in the poverty, too.
See what I mean?
We arrived a while before the rest of the SF missions team. The arrival of their massive charter bus did not go unnoticed…
The morning commenced with some beautiful singing and some impressively coordinated dance moves.
But not everyone was sure they were up for singing and dancing…
Can you guess who wanted to join in the fun?
The Bear was aptly dressed in school colours and occasionally hard to spot! He seemed disappointed that he didn’t already know the dance moves.
But when it was time to sit quietly he thought a game of duck, duck, goose would be good…
After story time, it was time for the footwashing and shoe sizing to begin!
One of the teachers added some hot water to warm up the water basins, but I think she forgot one…
Can you believe these precious feet belong to a little girl who probably isn’t nine yet?
This is the “I’ve Got Loooove” dance move…but I’m afraid I can’t remember all the lyrics for you. Peace and Joy made an appearance, too.
I peeked inside a classroom and afterwards wished I’d taken more photos for you! (That’s Afrikaans.)
Oh, look! One of the banners HH and I designed has been conveniently placed for a photo op! Yay, sweet banner! We’re proud of you!
I thought this fella had a sweet smile.
This little girl’s story will touch your heart. I will share more about the Girl in the Pink Coat soon.
This tough cookie had a blistered spot on her toe so awful looking I am afraid some of you couldn’t handle seeing it. One of the volunteers cleaned it and carefully put ointment on it and dressed it after letting it soak for a while. She didn’t seem phased in the slightest, and I began to think these children must get used to being in pain.
As usual, I’ve saved my favourites for last. I took lots of this gang and will have to share more! They were so great! (And patient as they were the last group to have their feet washed and receive shoes!)
Here are the preschoolers! I’m not sure where they’re headed…
Ya know friends, each of these opportunities seems to be such a learning experience for me. I find things I would never realise I’m taking for granted to be luxuries beyond the means of many. The words “want” and “need” are constantly finding clearer definitions in my vocabulary. And in light of the simple joy and peace I see on these kids’ faces, I am continually recognising my own discontent, and enjoying the challenge to find wholeness apart from the kind of wholeness that we Westerners might tend to think comes from a store. So I’m thankful again this Tuesday. For what I have and what I don’t. For what I’m seeing and how it helps me see myself.
And I hope you can take a moment to be still this Tuesday and find thankfulness in your heart, too.
xCC
Want to join the Travelling Tuesday fun this week? Link up right here! Whether it’s last week’s trip to Walmart of last year’s week at the beach, I’d love for you to share! Please just link back here somewhere in your post, and make sure you give us the link to your post, and not your home page.
Aug 16, 2010 | Prayers in Poetry & Prose
I wrote this a few weeks ago when things were quite busy…but I was a little too busy to remember to post it. Enjoy! xCC
There are moments in life, to which you might relate,
where it seems as if you’ve got one too many plate
you spin, one burden too many to carry,
with weight, one path too many to walk.
And finding myself in those heavy moments, where all seems
blurry and messy, where there seem to be too many things to do
for me to know where to start,
I recognise a simple pattern, pointing right back to my heart.
For knowing this, what I’ll say now,
I wonder why it seems
I trudge along in muddy waters
instead of cleansing streams.
There’s this peace I find — this peace divine —
when I take time to be still.
I stay my mind upon the Vine
whether all is well or ill.
Prone to wander, my poor heart,
distracted by the day,
loses peace at rapid speeds
and edges start to fray.
But turn again to that sweet sound
the Voice I ought to know
and in His Word, He guides me still:
this is the way to go.
Though wander I, for day or week,
through seasons with weary soul,
if I return to that good Vine,
My Shepherd makes me whole.
–Caroline Collie
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