Jun 3, 2010 | An Expat, Stories
When I was younger I sometimes felt like I was in the shadow of my older brother and sister. Russ is a smart and talented and likeable guy — I told you, he’s probably a superhero! And my sister, Dodi, is beautiful and the life of the party and it feels like everybody loves her. They were both excellent tennis players who did well in school, and as I followed them through the ranks of High School and university (and didn’t quite have those tennis skills, mayhaps) I sometimes felt like a small fry in a Big Mac shadow.
“Little Dodi” or “Little Dot” or “Little Darrow” were common nicknames that followed me into my twenties. I’ve just realised you might not even know Darrow is my maiden name! Whoa! I can remember being little and laughing at my grandmother saying “Ru-Duh-Caroline!” as she struggled to finally arrive at the name she was looking for to call me.
I suppose without realising it I kind of stepped out of the Big Mac shadow when I left North Carolina. No one in Scotland seemed aware of my awesome older siblings (until they came to visit and were the life of the party again!) and since I was in my early twenties in a new country, I feel like it was a season of figuring out who I am, outside the box of where I’ve come from and whose I am.
Today someone emailed Mark and me an encouragement after receiving one of our ministry newsletters. (We send ’em out via email every month, so let me know if you’d like to receive them.) She ended by saying
“I’m so happy and proud of ‘Baby Darrow’ (and I’m not talking about cute Asher-ha!)”
For some reason, those words almost brought me to tears. Actually they did. They really did. Being away from home often means wishing someone was around who knows who you are. And whose you are. You wish you had some folks around who’ve known you for more than six months — people who remember that beat up Escort wagon you drove for your first car, and the guy you dated in high school that you probably shouldn’t have. You long for people who’ve walked up your driveaway (it’s up a hill) and sat at your Mama’s kitchen table. Because those things are such an integral part of you that you can’t fully explain, you can’t give them the pictures. They can’t see the Pamlico River at sunset or smell the Bill’s Hot Dogs you skipped school for. I told you I probably shouldn’t have dated that boy! They don’t know the trails where you rode your bike to the swimming pool every day all summer long, and they can’t hear the side door slam or the peaceful sound of cars passing on Christmas Eve while luminaries light up the streets around your neighbourhood.
But today, thanks to the amazing power of a few words typed in passing and whisked across the internet, a simple message from an old family friend meant for a moment I got to be Baby Darrow again. And I suddenly realised that’s a shadow I wish could follow me everywhere I go.
xCC
P.S. As I was finding a few pictures for this post, the Bear woke up from his nap and came to see what I was up to. He spotted a picture of Dodi and said, “Doe!” It’s good to think he’ll learn my shadow someday, and perhaps leave one of his own. And btw, photo credit for that lovely first shot belongs to Lindsay Lee Hartsell.
Jun 1, 2010 | Stories, Travel..ling Tuesdays
I told you guys a while ago … or better put I’ve been telling you for a while, that I see too many coincidences to believe in coincidence any more. God is actively at work in our lives in marvelous and mysterious ways.
This month’s mystery? The case of the big paycheck and the roaming potato.
Say what?
Well, this month we had a bigger than usual paycheck. We didn’t run out to celebrate and blow half of it, mind you, we just trusted it was there for a reason (if nothing else to pay off more of Mr. Potato Head!) and we didn’t change our pace.
So last week we were busy at a Samaritan’s Feet South Africa staff meeting. All two of us. In the cafe at our gym with the Bear in the nursery (where they let him watch Barney and paint and colour and jump in the big ball pit — perhaps more aptly named Toddler Heaven). Only our meeting was interrupted by a request from the front desk that the owner of a certain Citroen with licence plate number lalala should come to the desk.
Hero Hubs said “Hey that’s our car!” while I was completely oblivious and busy typing.
When he didn’t return after, say, ten minutes or so, I thought, Hmm, guess it wasn’t our headlights. I asked at the front desk what had happened and decided to pack up our laptops to further investigate.
What had happened, yo?
Well, Mr. Potato Head apparently felt a little lonely and went on an adventure. His handbrake wasn’t pulled, and the seemingly invisible to the naked eye gradient of the gym parking lot was enough to get Potato rolling. And rolling. And rolling.
You need some visuals?
Well, here’s where we left Tato.
And here’s where Tato ended up.
Yes, I am standing where Tato should be. And past that parking guard, and that stop sign and that red car turning left, there in the distance with the crowd of people is where Tato’s solo adventure ended.
Against the front of a BMW.
It went a lil something like this.
Oh yeah, and then the BMW’s adventure ended. Against the side of an old Fox or Polo or something.
Apparently this parking guard was attempting to direct reversing Potato for some time before discovering Potato was an unmanned ship. I really wish I could’ve seen that go down.
Meanwhile the police officers who arrived on the scene struggled to piece together the exact details of this unusual incident…
Ugh, what?
It’s a considerable distance, I suppose.
Ya know, I saw cars kiss while we were in France…
Yes, they were really parked like that! I suppose carkisses around these parts are a bit ‘rougher’…
But at least the mystery of the big paycheck has been solved! Deductible! And thank goodness for car insurance — we have TOTALLY scored considering we’ve only had it for eight months. Unfortunately, those folks just bought that beamer last year. We sure do wish they didn’t have to be a part of our mystery!
That my friends, may have been a bit of an usual Travelling Tuesday for the books. But when Mr. Potato Head goes travelling of his own accord, I think it’s worth documenting. So laugh with me. Potatoes do roam.
xCC
Keen to join in the Travelling Tuesday fun? Well folks, don’t try this at home. Just kidding. If you’d like to post your own TT (let’s hope it’s a bit less expensive) just paste the link to your scrumdiddlyumptious post in the Magic Link Robot below. Whether it’s an adventurous accident or a well-planned outing, we’re jonesin’ to see it! Make sure to drop a link in at your post as well. Or Potato might roam in your direction. 🙂
Jun 1, 2010 | Stories
Thanks to Emily’s encouragement at Chatting at the Sky, I’ve been taking a moment to think about things I am thankful for (and still share some Travelling-goodness with you) on Tuesdays. Last week I bought a lot of fruit and veg at the grocery store…too much to fit in my tiny fruit basket shopping cart, and so I had to choose another bowl to arrange some of it in.
As I took a moment to step back and smile at my arrangement, I suddenly realised what a privilege it is to even have this much food. I thought about people nearby who will perhaps never have the funds to buy as much food as we buy each time we pop into the Pic n Pay. My heart was warm with thankfulness, and humbled with conviction as well.
I am thankful for what I have.
But I want to make sure I remember the poor and give.
And the realisation of both of those things is a good reason to be thankful on a Tuesday.
xCC
May 29, 2010 | Stories, The Parenthood
While I seem to keep heading in the direction of making a vow of poverty, God keeps supplying our every need through people we know and love (and sometimes strangers!) with exceeding abundance. Remember when I thought it wouldn’t be the end of the world if we couldn’t get the Bear a new bike when he outgrew his car? Well, his “Guh-Guh” thought otherwise and sent some funds for us to buy the Bear a new bike.
So while we were in Bloemfontein we found THE bike at a great price at a store that has quickly found a place in my heart, Kloppers. Kloppers represents the beauty of the old-fashioned general store to me, before the days of Walmart where all was privatized, sanitized, streamlined and shiny-floored. On their carpeted aisles, you can find everything from camping gear and garden tools to glass cut the perfect size to fit a wooden picture frame you bought on the side of the road for 20 Rand to electronics and school uniforms to fine china and awesome kitchen gadgets. And then some! The staff are incredibly friendly and even when you’re not an Afrikaans speaker (like myself) and you happen to find a staff member who doesn’t speak English, they still try their darndest to help you out, and it sure is sweet.
Sadly the nearest Kloppers to us is ages away. But we enjoy a few visits each time we’re in Bloem!
I apologize! On to the Thank You Note at hand!
A lot of folks around here seem to be getting the bikes with no peddles that the kids push with their feet and it helps them learn balance. (Is it the same in the States right now?) But we wanted to go ahead and get a proper one with training wheels that would last a while. And we finally found one (at Kloppers!) at a great price. And they lowered the seat a little so the Bear could reach the pedals now … well almost.
Introducing…the Bearcycle!
We tried it out for size again once Hero Hubs had the training wheels back on (after the trip down from Bloem).
And then we were off!
He was very excited to get going!
Not sure why he brought his train, but we put it in his hood while he rode. 🙂
It definitely put a smile on the Bear’s dial. Look at him go!
What’s that? You’ve noticed that his feet aren’t on the pedals…and there’s a rope out front?
Oh yeah…
Well, he hasn’t quite got it yet, it’s still a little big for him…so this is how we roll in the meantime.
He’ll get the hang of it.
Not a bad setting for a first bike ride, hey?
Dear Guhn-Guh,
I miss you so far away in the USA. Thank you for my new bearcycle. I REALLY like it and sometimes I push it around the house even thought I’m not sposed to. I look forward to saying thank you in person! In the meantime, I’ll be working on my skills to show off when we’re together next!
I love you!
your Bear
Thanks so much, Dad!
xCC
May 20, 2010 | Stories, The Good Word, The Parenthood
(This is Where You Live Should Not Decide, Part II)
If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, I sure would appreciate you doing so before diving into this one. It will make more sense. If you don’t feel like it, well whatever, at least I warned you.
So while I was in the middle of writing yesterday’s post, last week halfway across SA, a friend of ours wanted to take me to the mall and wanted me to pick out something special for myself for Mother’s Day. I was so freaked out I almost totally froze. Well not really, but seriously, it was the strangest blessing I’ve received in a long time.
You see, I realised that for as long as I can remember, I have carried around a mental shopping list in my head. Please tell me you have done this too and I’m not silly. I would take note of things I felt were lacking from my closet … perhaps a new jean skirt, a black belt (not karate-type, just regular type, of course), a scarf that will turn last season’s sweater into this season’s style, a replacement for a saggy old pocketbook… you get the idea. And whenever I had a chance to shop, I would already know what I was looking for — all the stuff I “needed†on my list. Well suddenly, we’re on the way to the mall and I. Have. No. List.
I cannot describe to you what this felt like because I can’t even describe it to myself. It was just the strangest thing for my brain to go to the file where the continually-updated shopping list is supposed to be stored and suddenly find that the list is blank. I trolled around like a lost sheep for a moment before regaining the clarity to walk through a store and start looking for something I might like.
I finally settled on an adorable pink sweater (Thank you, friend, you know who you are!) and wore it at least three times over the next week and a half because, hey, we were travelling to a new place every couple days and who knew it was a repeat?
The reason I’m telling you all this? I suppose it felt like a victory to discover that I no longer had “the list.†I feel like some of the materialism I’ve grown up with (mind you I am NOT blaming my parents for this — we live in a VERY materialistic society!) is finally breaking. It’s like I’m coming out of some translucent shell for the first time, seeing the possibility of living differently.
Now this you’ve gotta hear. It gets better. While I was in the middle of writing this post, yesterday, Mark went to check the mail. We hadn’t checked it since we’d gotten back to Gordon’s Bay. And in it were two slips of paper, notifying us that two packages were waiting for us at the Post Office.
Might you like to hazard a guess as to what was in said packages? If you guessed clothing, then you’re right! Another dear and sweet friend of mine and her family put together two boxes of clothes for us — lots of ADORABLE stuff for the next sizes the Bear is growing into (pictures to follow) AND some adorable tops for me AND some handsome and manly shirts for Hero Hubby, one that will make his beautiful blue eyes even more blue! I love that.
As I pondered how all this had come together while I was in the middle of discussing this thing that is changing in me, I was reminded of a conversation Hero Hubs and I had several months ago. We were working out our budget for life here in South Africa. Once we were finally settled in, we could see what our expenses were actually going to be like, the health insurance, the rent, the groceries, etc. As we put all the numbers together, though things were tight, we decided to continue giving as before and even increase a little. This meant, however, that there was no room at the inn for a clothing budget. After setting aside funds to travel back to the States, working to pay off Mr. Potato Head as quickly as possible, and covering the costs of living around here, clothes just weren’t in the numbers.
I can remember sitting beside Hero Hubs on the couch as he said, “We are just going to have to trust the Lord for everything else.â€
So we did. And I’ve begun to realise we are really trusting Him for everything. All the funds that are coming our way are from Him. And seven months later, we have been repeatedly blessed with clothing for ourselves and for the Bear, without spending anything. (Except for those special shoes I told you about that my friend sent money at just the right time for us to buy!) And I am finding once again a God who is true to His word:
Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? […] But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6: 25 & 33)
I am not saying I haven’t wanted more over the past several months. I am not saying there weren’t times where I wished I could have some cash to just blow on stuff for myself. But I am suddenly finding that I am desiring stuff less, and I am beginning to take notice of the fact that God will meet my every need if I trust Him and wait on Him.
And though I don’t have all the answers yet, I can see how if we in the West can break free from materialism, we can break others free from poverty. If we are willing to skip going to the movies twice a month, someone halfway around the world can eat that month. If we are willing to wear last year’s fashion this year, we might save enough to build a well for a village that needs clean water.
When I stand before the Lord at the end of my days, I sometimes don’t want to think about the account I will have to give for what I did with what He gave me. I am a debtor to grace every day and so thankful Jesus covers my every shortcoming. But it is good to feel like I’m moving more and more in His direction, working to be fruitful with that which I’ve been called to steward, anxiously awaiting a glorious “Well done.â€
One more quote for thought to tie this up:
“Don’t fail to do something just because you can’t do everything.â€
–Dr. Bob Pierce
xCC
May 19, 2010 | Stories, The Good Word
I think I shared before a while back that I’m a big fan of U2. Many of their songs point me in the direction of Jesus. It reminds me of the Elizabeth Barrett Browning quote I spoke about the other day: but only he who sees takes off his shoes… One of the songs on U2’s How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb album has a couple of simple lyrics in it that have been ringing in my ears since I first heard it years ago. They sing:
Where you live should not decide
whether you live or whether you die…
I suppose the reason it is ringing in my ears afresh today is that I’m seeing day after day the truth that right now, in our world, where you live does decide whether you live or whether you die. It’s estimated that some “15,000 Africans are dying each day of preventable, treatable diseases — AIDS, malaria, TB — for lack of drugs that we [in the West] take for granted.”*
Here’s where I want to get honest, friends. I don’t feel like I really know how to respond to this reality. I’ve been thinking lately about the fact that I haven’t bought a new article of clothing in like seven months. And the last thing I bought was just a pair of hiking shorts that were on sale. There’s a part of me that feels really good about this. There\s a part of me that feels like I’m breaking away from the materialism that has held me captive for a long time.
Growing up, if I saw something in the store that I wanted, my Mom would ask “Do you need it?” And I knew if she asked that, and if I said, “Well…I guess, yeah, 90% of the time she would buy it for me. I would scramble in my mind to justify why I needed that new pair of shoes, that fashionable new top…the jeans that were the right wash for that season. I’d go home pleased with the new stuff, until after a while, long before it was worn out, or even worn in, I’d need something new again.
Here I am a few years later. Perhaps the Lord had to draw me out of that situation for a while, and put us on a tight budget, in order for me to finally learn a lesson appropriate for a ten-year-old: The Difference Between Wants and Needs.
None of these words are meant to have even a shadow of complaining. Before I last left the States, both my Mom and Dad took me shopping and I had some great new clothes to sport for my arrival in South Africa. Indeed, I am learning that it would be egregious for me to have a single complaint about my life right now. (PLEASE don’t think this is some way of secretly hinting that I want everyone to send me a parcel of new stuff! Tickets to a U2 Concert however… ;))
The Hubs and I have a healthy son, live in a beautiful place, and have never once missed a meal because we could not afford to eat. Why is that? I believe part of it is that the Lord has blessed us. We are committed to serving and following Him. We submit our finances to His leading and are constantly working to live with greater submission to Him in every area of our lives, including all that we spend His money on.
But this is where it gets challenging. If I simply conclude that I have all that I have because I am blessed and do not acknowledge the fact that it also has something to do with where HH and I were born, the families we were born into, the education and opportunities we received, and the people we know, I feel it would be false. Our son survived the excessive bleeding that followed his circumcision because we lived in Edinburgh, Scotland, and had access to health care. I have a university education because my parents were able to pay for it. I spent some time repenting recently for not recognising the opportunities I’ve been blessed with in this life as gifts from the Lord, and having wrong attitudes toward people who have not had the same opportunities. Eish, that’s a subject for another post.
If we are only doing well because God loves us and we are blessed, then what shall we say of those who do not appear to be blessed? What shall we say of the 100,000 people who live in a township just a few miles away from us, crowded into a few square miles, with shacks and shared electricity and indecent sanitation? For God so loved some of the world? For God so loved people in some parts of the world? For God so loved the Western world?
While one part of me wants a pat on the back for my spending restraint over the past couple of years, another part of me finds a congratulations for practicing financial restraint almost revolting.
I suppose this has sort of become a Stream of Consciousness post — an attempt to explain to you what I am trying to piece together in my own mind. To this mess, I would like to add that I have been reading an amazing book (thanks, Annie Beth!) called The Hole in Our Gospel, by Richard Stearns. I would like to go so far as to say if you’re a Christian in the West, this should be required reading. If I had the money to buy extra copies, I would probably do lots of giveaways in hopes of getting it into your hands and then your hearts. I hope to get together a mini-book review for you soon.
The greater story of what’s happening in my understanding of the Gospel and the changes taking place in my heart doesn’t end here, and neither does this little, very specific story about the clothing restraint. Please come back tomorrow for me to keep sharing! But let me leave you with one more quote in the meantime, please:
“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it.”
“Well, why don’t you ask Him?”
“Because I’m afraid He would ask me the same question.”
–Anonymous
xCC
P.S. Don’t feel like you just have to sit back while I walk this out. I would love your feedback.
*Bono, in Sachs, The End of Poverty: Economic Possibilities for our Times, foreword.
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