Four Years Past Scotland, Hang a Big Right

Aug 4, 2010 | Stories

Last week I quietly celebrated a little personal anniversary. It was five years ago that I boarded a plane from Atlanta, Georgia to venture toward a new life in Scotland. My big brother and I landed in London on July 28th, and on the 29th we were on our way up the island to my new home in Edinburgh. Wet behind the ears and totally uncertain of what was ahead, it is funny to look in a mirror five years later and see the same person, and yet a very different person, looking back at me.

I’ve learned so many things from getting outside of my own culture and customs, ministering in different ways in different places, experiencing Scotland for four years and now South Africa for almost one. I’ve celebrated joys and high moments with cartwheels in city parks and I’ve cried my eyes out in low moments on borrowed pillows. I’ve spent more consecutive days, weeks and months away from the home where I spent my first 17 years than I ever expected. I’ve taken risks I never thought I would take. I’ve made decisions I never thought I would have to make.

And if I sit still and quiet just long enough to reflect on the most important thing I’ve learned, it’s something I knew before I ever boarded the plane.

I need Jesus.

No matter how strong I think I am, after selling my stuff and arriving in a new country with three suitcases and hopes as high as the sky, after a couple of years of living on my own halfway around the world, after setting aside the tangible dream of a paid-for PhD for a bigger dream, and after moving continents again, this time with my husband and baby boy, the truth remains absolutely the same:

I need Jesus.

I cannot miss taking a quiet moment to read the Word and pray, to find the Centre of the universe and aim to make Him the Centre of my life. If I miss Him for a day, I might slide by okay. If I let busyness draw me away for two or three days, or more, the struggle begins. I struggle to keep kindness on my tongue. I struggle to keep peace in my heart. I struggle to listen for the still, small voice. Worries and anxieties begin to strangle joy. Sometimes I even struggle just to get good sleep.

Without Him, I can do a lot, but none of it is really worth doing. Without Him, I can say a lot, but it’s usually stuff that’s not worthwhile saying.  No matter how unique or special my story might seem, it’ll be insignificant in the end if it’s lived without Him and His big picture in mind.

But with Him I have the hope of glory. With Him I have the hope of a life lived that matters. With Him I have the hope of bearing fruit that remains.

Twenty-eight years, three degrees, three continents, one husband, one son, more addresses than I can count, five long years far away from the place that still feels home.

This is the Truth I need every day, the Centre that matters the most:

I need Jesus.

He’s not my crutch, my illusion of comfort in a weary world, or a reason for me to try to be good enough to get by. He is all that matters and I’m daily a debtor to grace. And apart from Him, though it sounds like foolishness to the world, I finally see it: I can do nothing.

The Good News: you don’t have to travel halfway around the world to find the most important Truth there is to find. He’s been everywhere you are, waiting for you all along. My thoughts about risking life without Him are well described on a vehicle I was a little surprised to see here in SA:

xCC

P.S. Sorry things have been quiet for a few days! Things have been busy with our move, lack of internet, and a power outage, but I have an amazing story to share with you…and I plan to share it tomorrow!

Mercy Rising Giveaway

Jun 14, 2010 | Giveaways

Hey guys and gals! There’s a giveaway over at the Run-a-Muck right now for a book called Mercy Rising. Perhaps in some ways akin to the Hole in our Gospel which has been rocking my socks off for the past wee while, it is an inspiring book that will help you believe you can make a difference to a world in need. It is also a unique resource boasting a multitude of ideas and features to help us get from “I wanna help but I don’t know how” to “I’m gonna help and here’s how.”

I desperately want to inspire you guys, because I am finding life and joy in the inspiration I’m receiving from my experiences here in South Africa. I hope that if you believe anything else, based on the things I write and share and point toward in this space, you’ll believe ::

1. That Jesus is who He says He is, the One who lived and died for your sin and mine and offers grace and forgiveness at His own expense and

2. That you can make a difference in the world, following the example He set and obeying the things He taught. And if we ignore everything He taught about care and concern for the poor, than we are indeed living out a holey Gospel and we are missing the social revolution Jesus set in place.

Hop on over to the Run-a-Muck to read more about this special book and how you can win a copy! I hope you’ll be inspired!

xCC

Jesus, My Rubbish Collector

Jun 14, 2010 | The Good Word

I was following along with a conversation on a friend’s website about entitlement the other day. And I began to recognise something that has been changing in me without me being fuly cognizant of it: I’m becoming aware that there is more (and more) “rubbish” in my heart, and I need help taking out the trash.

What’s all this rubbish I’ve been recognizing? (You need to pronounce rubbish with a British accent to fully enjoy it.) Well, among other things, I’m specifically aware of an entitlement attitude. A mindset that makes me feel sorry for myself (Self Pity is a Dangerous Bedfellow!) when things don’t go the way I think I deserve for them to go. Let me help you out, with actual, personal examples.

I might do think to myself:

“I’ve been praying and asking for this particular thing for ages. It isn’t something that costs very much money. I haven’t been spending much on anything else — in fact, I’ve been very careful with our budget. Why don’t I have what I’ve been praying for?”

“I really wish we had just a little extra cashflow just to be able to eat out or treat ourselves a bit more every once in a while. I mean, we work so hard — don’t we deserve it?”

These are just a couple of surface examples of a deeper issue that is very ingrained in my western, rights-mentality mindset. If I can justify in my mind why I deserve it, then indeed, it is so, and I deserve it.

But here’s the issue.

I am suddenly faced with the reality of the millions of people a stone’s throw (okay a couple miles) away from me who live in poverty. And I mean dirt floor, corrugated tin wall and roof, cooking on an open fire and making about $12 for a good day’s work poverty. Suddenly, now it’s a reality and not just pictures on TV of emaciated children with distended bellies and flies all around who almost make you not want to act because you don’t see any hope in it. Now I see these relatively healthy adults, mothers my age with children the Bear’s age, caught in a web where lack of education, disease, hunger and a number of other circumstances combine to keep advancement and hope for the future just out of reach. And now some new questions come to mind when this entitlement mentality rears its ugly head.

Do you deserve? But wouldn’t that mean they deserve too?

Have you earned it? Or have the opportunities and privileges of your life made it possible?

It would just make things easier? Think about all the things you take for granted that would make it “easier” for someone else. (Like owning a car…a home in a secure area…even a dishwasher!)

Eventually I find myself aware that once again, there is rubbish in my heart. There are attitudes that need correction. There is trash that needs collection.

And the gracious God who has indeed blessed me exceeding and abundantly is willing to look in, forgive me, and even help me take out the trash.

I suddenly see that the biggest gift I’ve received so far in looking to the eyes of people who have so little is the realisation that I already have so, so much.

Much more than I need.

Much, much more than I deserve.

I am undeserving of the free grace, the free gift of Jesus. I’m undeserving of all that I have in addition.

And that realisation is leading me to a mentality of thankfulness — and Lord knows, that’s where I want to stay.

The Sermon in a Nutshell: If we can see all that we have as a gift of grace, we are better able to handle it when life as we know it isn’t our cup of tea. We might even realise instead that it’s not the exact flavour tea we were looking for, but it’s tea nonetheless. And any tea’s better than no tea at all!

xCC

Free for All Friday: Poverty and Beauty

Jun 4, 2010 | Uncategorized

I hope your weekend gets off to a scrumdiddlyumptious start! There are a few great reads I’d like to share with you this Free-for-All Friday. Plus, I’d love to suggest stopping by to see the latest pics of my adorable niece here. I cannot wait to meet her!

Can I also suggest you enjoy the sunrise HH captured the other morning?

Lovely, hey? It’s winter here now so this was at 7:30 am.

Then bulk up your blog menu with a couple of these fat-free, but oh-so-filling reads this weekend:

Meet Cara and hear from her heart — I am with her! I feel like we’ve known each other for ages but we’ve never met!

Just for fun, and because I’ve been thinking about that rich young ruler — you know the one I told you about — Go here and find out if you’re rich! Come back and let me know, mmmkay? I might have a few special requests. 😉

Amber at the Run-a-muck is a wordsmith like few others. I thought this would feed your soul a little too. And I’m not just sharing because she featured me at NightLight last weekend! 🙂

And last but not least, will you be casting sideways glances at the “perfect girl” at the pool this summer? Hear Laura Leigh’s thoughts on that right here. This one of hers is good too! Well they’re all good, but I especially think you’ll like these!

Enjoy your weekend! Thanks to those of you who sent love my way this week, especially yesterday! My big bro will be here in less than a month, and I am joyful! I love you!

xCC

I Get On My Knees

May 10, 2010 | Prayers in Poetry & Prose, Scotland

I‘m not one for creating a religious rule to abide by any means. Or for saying something always ought to be done a certain way, at a certain time, or in a certain place. (Since Jesus seemed to move in different ways at different times.) So please don’t think for a moment that with the following I intend to create a rule for you to begin to abide by as soon as you’ve finished reading this post.

Lately I have taken the time every now and then to get on my knees before God. I often sit and read my Bible on the couch in our living room while the Bear is napping. I’ll pray for a while, just sitting there quietly.

Sometimes, however, I just want to make sure I remind myself that God is God and I am not. I am glad that He calls me His friend. I also want to revere Him as my Lord and King.

Out of a desire to do so, the other day I spent a few minutes on my knees in prayer. A great calm met me there, and I felt peace at just having taken the time to bow myself before a Holy, Holy God. There was a great reverent intimacy in that moment, and I was glad I had listened to the prompting to get low. It reminded me of some lovely lyrics from a song that is sung by Nicole Mullen (and some other folks):

I get on my knees, I get on my knees,
There I am before the love that changes me.
See I don’t know how, but there’s power,
When I’m on my knees.

If you find yourself struggling to focus, distracted, or perhaps just unable to dig deeper in prayer, I would love to recommend getting on your knees before your heavenly Father. Ask Him to help you pray if you don’t know how to pray or what to pray. Sometimes the most simple acts of worship can have incredibly profound results.

xCC