Day 12: Life’s Beautiful Brevity

Day 12: Life’s Beautiful Brevity

Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!

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When I lost my Dad earlier this year, I mostly found comfort in places you would expect. My wonderful husband has been a great constant – always willing to listen, always present for me. My sweet little ones, who keep me moving, are walking reminders that life goes on and will go on. And, fully and completely, my faith in the God I’ve been talking about throughout this series (and for years before) proved built on a solid foundation: I was sad, disappointed, laid low, but I was not broken, I knew I could keep on.

It was unexpected, however, when the knowledge of my own death became a source of comfort at the loss of my Dad.

Let me e’splain.

I can almost remember where I was siting the moment the thought first occurred to me. Temporarily overwhelmed by the magnitude of grief and what it all meant, I remember thinking Am I going to have to live like this forever? Am I going to feel like this forever?

The first response in my mind, No, because you’re not going to live forever, was a source of comfort and peace.

Imagine grief as the task of moving a heavy piece of furniture. The task is yours to lift it and to move it to the right spot and you are making every effort to get it there. Your knees are practically knocking under the weight of it, but slowly, slowly step by step you’re getting closer to a place where you can sit that piece down. Your back is straining, your muscles are burning, your arms are as tense as they’ve ever been. You’re crazy ready to put it down, but you can’t put it down until you get it to the right spot.

What keeps you going? The knowledge that it’s just a little further to the place where you can take off that heavy burden and breathe easily. Just a few more steps and then…

Release. Relief.

In that Am I going to suffer with this grief forever? moment the first comfort was the knowledge that I wouldn’t suffer like that forever because, very simply, I wouldn’t live forever.

Then, I had the joy of remembering that my Dad had given his life to Jesus. When I lay down the heavy burden of grief (which is getting lighter and easier to carry) and stand on that eternal shore, I’ll get to see him again.

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The knowledge that our lives are just a vapor on this Earth is an unexpectedly beautiful gift, a part of God’s glorious goodness. And we’re told to remember and meditate on this truth, because there’s so much wisdom to be found in it:

So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom. {Psalm 90:12}

Here are a few of the many gifts I’ve counted from the knowledge that life is brief:

  • We know that anything we’re going through will not last forever — even if for no other reason than the simple truth that we won’t be here forever.
  • We’re challenged to make the time that we have on Earth count — because we know it’s a fragile gift, and we’re aware that we don’t know how much time we have. Carpe diem, boys.
  • There is a wonderful clarity that comes from seeing this life in relationship to eternity: it is so brief, it is so special. This helps us discern which things are worth valuing and devoting time to and which are not.
  • Knowing that people die every day but the world keeps turning reminds us that we will die someday and the world will keep turning — this humbling truth brings us good perspective. We shouldn’t think too highly of ourselves.
  • We have something beautiful to look forward to. The way the Bible talks about heaven, it is hard to believe we have such a hard time remembering to keep our focus on that heavenly shore. Keeping our hearts focused on doing the will of God for the time that we’re given to do it, makes SO much sense in light of the awesome-beautiful eternity waiting for those who belong to the Lord.

Although death came about after the Fall and was not a part of the initial plan of God’s creation, in His glorious goodness, there are so many redemptive purposes in death. It is amazing that something so hard and heart-wrenching can also be a beautiful gift.

We’ve all seen Bucket List-type movies or heard stories about the things that people decide matter to them, the things they decide they want to do with their lives when they find out they don’t have much time left. It changes their perspective completely. They start valuing their family and friends over their work like never before, they value joy, and choosing joy, even in hard moments. They begin to value enjoying life and the experiences that are possible here with very little regard for fear.

And the important truth that we need to cling to? Each of us is a flower that sprouts today and withers tomorrow. We all have a terminal disease, we just have a little less knowledge of when it will take its toll.

Friends, you and I are among those whose days are numbered.

Remember that the best is yet to come — and live like you believe it.

xCC

Day 11: Finding Yourself

Day 11: Finding Yourself

Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!

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How much time would you say you’ve spent thinking about what you were created to do? Do you believe you were created with a purpose — that there are actually specific things that only you can accomplish with your time on the Earth?

God creates things on purpose and does things on purpose. This verse is a good example of that truth:

As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. {Isaiah 55:10-11}

Observe that the rain and snow are purposefully sent to water the Earth, the seeds are purposefully in existence for the sower (i.e., farmer) and the existence of those seeds makes the possibility of food sprouting from those seeds planted in the Earth a reality — which results in bread for the eater — which lends itself towards the final goal of sustaining life on Earth.

God’s word is also filled with layers of purpose. And here He explains that He sends His word on purpose — perhaps you are reading these very words on this very page as a part of His purpose (I wouldn’t hesitate, really, to remove the perhaps from that statement).

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So if the seeds are on purpose, the seasons are on purpose, the day and the night and the cold and the heat, what about you? The carefully crafted man, with life breathed into you from the very lungs of God. The only part of His creation He chose to make in His own image.

Paul explained purpose to the Ephesians this way:

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. {Eph. 2:10}

In high school, my BFF and I spent many an hour of our days together entertaining people. We loved to joke and to laugh, to reenact skits we’d seen on Saturday Night Live and to come up with our own ideas for making people smile, and for creating inspiration.

Today, I still love the opportunity to stand up in front of a group of people and speak (I know that’s kind of weird, but yes, I enjoy {love} public speaking) and I love making people laugh when I have a microphone and half an opportunity. I write because I love to connect with people — I try to infuse humor here and there, but am also careful with it, (perhaps more than I need to be?). I want to entertain, but the deeper purpose for me is to educate and to inspire.

My friend went on to do Improv for a number of years, and even met her husband because of their mutual love for Improv. She has been hard at work creating beauty, most recently, by creating documentaries, which serve the purpose of educating and entertaining. She has always had the gift of vision, of gathering people around a common goal, and, like her (wonderful) Art-Teacher-Mom she seems to constantly create beauty with her life.

So here’s where things get really interesting for those of you trying to find yourself. There is something to be said for aptitude tests and career counseling — they can absolutely help you recognize the strengths and abilities with which you were created. In addition, there’s something to be said for going to the One who created you to find out what your purpose is all about.

If you belong to Christ, if you believe that He was who He said He was and is He Who says He is, then you died to yourself — the old man who you were before you found Him — and those redeeming qualities can begin to shine brighter and brighter.

For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. {Col. 3:3}

It’s so unexpected, but in His glorious goodness, instead of a constant inward focus, there is so much of your “self” to find by looking to the One who created you.

Your life is hidden in Him. His purposes for you are kept secret and safe in Him, where the enemy of your soul cannot fully see them and therefore attempt to thwart them. Like a map to a treasure that a person memorizes and then burns so that no one else will find it, the map to the life you were created to live is in the heart of God.

Yet another paradox finds us as we look for goodness: You lose yourself in all-out-seeking Him, and there you’ll find the self you’re looking for.

xCC

Day 10: The Gift in Giving

Day 10: The Gift in Giving

Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!

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Yesterday, I shared some thoughts on the concept of losing your life to find it — and ended asking if you, Dear Reader, perhaps get a little itchy with the idea that God wants all of your life. I’d like to take a little more time for that concept to “simmer” in the pot before it’s poured, so I’m going to switch gears and discuss something different today, and then come back to that when the timing seems right.

Sound okay?

Great, let’s dig in!

How do you feel about birthdays?

A few weeks ago, I celebrated a birthday. I really like birthdays and generally don’t struggle too much with focusing on the fact that I’m clocking additional laps on the track of life, and this one was just so special there was really no good reason to be bummed — other than it being my first birthday without my Dad, and there being a few moments where his absence was a little tough.

Hero Hubs, like always, lived up to his moniker by organizing a perfectly special day for me. My Mom, as always, blessed me in countless ways and reminded me for the hundredth time that week that I’m so fortunate she’s my Mama. And a new friend of mine made all these special efforts to make the day super-great and it was SUCH a treat!

Among the gifts I was showered with were some birthday cash, which I happily received. I regularly tend to avoid spending money on myself, but with everything arranged for my friend and I to get out of the house childless and go shopping for a wee while (very big deal people!) I was very excited to grab a couple of necessities for the change of season upon us, and pretty much some stuff that I like to call additions to my “Momiform.” Which is the uniform I found myself in almost every day — jeans and a basic t-shirt, because why not?

We scooted off to the next town over and found some deals (including a steal on a much-needed new bathing suit, which was not as needed as I thought since our beach vacation has been RAINY.) And after all that fun I still had some extra cash in my pocket.

For some reason, I decided to try to spend the rest of it on other people.

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In the days and weeks that followed, I enjoyed paying for a friend’s coffee as we enjoyed an afternoon out without our kids. I bought my Mom some much-deserved flowers (it was on the to-do list for weeks) and enjoyed taking the Bear and my sweet nieceypoo to a movie.

And, it might come as no surprise, I think I got more joy out of blessing others than I would have if I’d found a few more options for my Momiform. My Mom’s flowers lasted for ages and brought us both a lot of joy. I loved getting special time with my niece – I don’t get to see her often and my son. And MAN OH MAN is it a treat to just sit down with another Mama and have an adult conversation sometimes!!!

In His glorious goodness, the Lord built a gift into giving.

But let’s be honest. Giving isn’t always easy. Sometimes when it comes in the form of serving, and especially if that serving seems to go unnoticed, you can begin to really feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick. {You remember that God is all-seeing though, right?} And sometimes, when you’re asked to give, you might also have concerns about whether there will still be enough for you.

Our photography business has been asked to give a lot since we did our first photoshoot in the Carolinas, and we’ve clung to one particular principal to remind us to keep it up:

The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered. {Prov. 11:25}

As a result, we have been privileged to begin to catch a glimpse of this reality. We’ve answered nearly every inquiry by giving. Our business is growing and we’re beginning to get excited about the dream becoming a reality. {We already have four weddings booked for 2014 — and I could wet my pants!}

Remember that first giveaway we did, for a Quiver Tree photo session over a year and a half ago? The family we met, who won the giveaway have since become dear friends that we LOVE LOVE LOVE.

The hard part of giving — almost every time — is usually trusting that if you give, you’ll still have enough for you and your family at the end of the day.

This is where that hard “T” word comes in — Trust.

But here’s the promise you can stand on to help you Trust, so that you can enjoy the gift in giving and enjoy it often:

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. {Phil. 4:19}

Is it sometimes hard for us Westerners to recognize the difference between needs and wants? Probably so. But we can absolutely trust the God who sees everything (and knows everything) to supply what is best for us, and to water us when we demonstrate our trust in Him and water others.

Have you seen an unexpected gift from deciding to be a giver? I’d love to hear about it.

I’d like to challenge you to choose to be generous today — and let me know how it goes!

xCC

Day 9: Lost and Found

Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!

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We are enjoying a yearly tradition of spending time with family at the beach this week and yesterday, I had the privilege of taking the Bear and my sweet nieceypoo on a little trip to the movies. My niece doesn’t live nearby, so I love soaking in her fun and vivacious personality when I get the chance to spend time with her.

We had about ten minutes before the movie was supposed to start, and I had a couple of quarters in my pocket so I decided to let the kids play the race car game they’d been pretending to play while I was getting snacks. After putting quarters into the machine, I quickly realized the Bear’s feet wouldn’t reach the peddles, and slipped into the seat with him in my lap so that he could steer while I pushed the pedals.

Watching the screen was nothing short of painful — I could see that we were about to slam into things and would do my best to slow down. We were very obviously in eighth place and I was trying to help catch up!! I occasionally tried to grab the wheel to help, which sometimes helped, but sometimes resulted in us flipping completely over or slamming into something and bursting into flames. It became obvious that I needed to let go, slow down, and just let the Bear go at his own pace, which was quite a test of will for me.

Attempting to let someone else drive but simultaneously trying to push the pedals immediately made me begin to think about how I interact with the Lord. I wondered if sometimes I try to push the pedals or grab the wheel and steer because I don’t like the course being set for me. Even though I absolutely want to whole-heartedly give my life to the Lord, I sometimes cling to the wheel for fear of what that could look like.

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A missionary named Jim Elliot, who lived an incredible life for Jesus, traveling to unreached people groups to share the Gospel with them for the first time, once said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

Jesus delivered this similarly challenging word to His followers: “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.” {Matthew 10:39}

As I mentioned the other day, it is often a challenge to let go of something we’ve been clinging to for the sake of Jesus. He doesn’t promise we will be safe, but He does promise we will find eternal life with Him when this blip-on-the-map called our life on earth is over.

It is an unexpected paradox, like so many aspects of His glorious goodness, that clinging to something will cause you to lose it, but letting go of something will cause you to find it. Matthew Henry comments on it this way:

They who like not Christ on these terms, may leave him at their peril… It is very encouraging to think, that whatever we leave, or lose, or suffer for Christ, we do not make a hard bargain for ourselves. Whatever we part with for this pearl of price, we may comfort ourselves with this persuasion, that it is well worth what we give for it.

Is His glorious goodness good enough to leave everything for? Do you get itchy with the idea that God wants all of you — or wants the steering wheel and the pedals?

Can we chat about that more tomorrow?

xCC

 

Day 8: Holy Stooping and Drama Llamas

Day 8: Holy Stooping and Drama Llamas

Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!

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I’m a parent, and like a lot of parents, I think my kids are uber-awesome. Really. I adore each one of them for different reasons — I love the Bear’s tenderheartedness, his clever mind, his deep thinking. Although the Tank is absolutely a steamroller in many situations, he somehow also has this incredibly gentle spirit, loves to give kisses, shows deep concern when someone is sad, and is full of that age-two-everything-is-full-of-wonder stage that melts my heart on a daily basis.

The Belle, of course, is our little princess and we cherish her. She shows so much delight in the world around her. She is quickly becoming very eager to not just watch, but participate in what her brothers are doing. She loves to be tickled and to giggle, and has an out-of-this-world nose scrunch.

It’s pretty easy to come up with a list of reasons why the small people in my life have such a special place in my heart (besides, obviously, the wonderful knowledge that they’re mine) but there are also times when it is NOT so easy to be their Mama. When I feel like a steaming pressure cooker with a stuck-on-lid, when there are more rides on the drama llama than this Mama can handle.

A couple of weeks ago, the Bear had one of those drama-llama moments. It had been a really long day. He no longer takes naps in the afternoon, but I sometimes think he still could (but then he’d never fall asleep at bedtime.) He’d been very active and was probably a little tired, though he wasn’t showing it.

Dinner wasn’t going to take long so I suggested we go for a stroll to the playground to enjoy just a little more fresh air at the end of our day. I have a double stroller, and it’s anybody’s guess, sometimes, how many kids I’ll be pushing in it. The Tank wanted to ride in the back, the Belle was in the front, and the Bear was riding the Tank’s bike, so that if he decided to get out of the stroller and ride a bike, he could.

It was not a surprise when the Tank switched gears and wanted to ride his bike. The Bear happily jumped into the backseat of the stroller when I said it would be okay — yes, he’s probably too old to be riding in the stroller, but I caved in the name of having fun.

We arrived on the gravel path we take for the last stretch to the playground, and, no surprise, sweet little Tank wanted to ride in the stroller again because it is too hard to push a plastic bike over a gravel road. Truth.

A fight ensued. Over rights to the backseat of the stroller, of course.

Knowing we would not make it to the playground without the Tank getting in the stroller, I asked the Bear to get out, and he was… more than a little disappointed.

I did my best to explain my reasoning, talked about how great it would be to play at the playground, attempted a little discussion about the best decision in this scenario, tried to make it NOT a big deal… nothing doing.

He parked himself in one spot and didn’t budge.

I strolled a little further (safe location folks, don’t worry) and looked back to see him still arms crossed, crying a little.

I strolled a little further and the weeping turned into wailing. Embarrassingly loud, cray cray wailing. Perhaps he would follow now?

I strolled a little further and he eventually freaked out with scream-crying.

Without boring you with more exhaustive details, I’ll basically say it ended badly. His favorite toy taken away for a week for his disobedience (when I asked him to come), other punishment for the fact that he yelled at his Mama… still more discussion later that evening about the fact that — {ohmigosh this is what it looks like} he actually did a little on-the-ground kicking and screaming. It wasn’t a full-fledged grocery-store-kid gone wild — but it was the closest I’d ever seen from him.

Eventually, order was re-restored, but we never made it to the playground. He cried most of all of the walk home, and waited in his bedroom for his Dad to get home.

Washing dishes after dinner that night, I reflected on the reasons behind the freak-out, and thought about what I could have done differently to better handle the situation, and to perhaps even prevent it from happening like that again.

I remembered this verse from Psalm 18:35:

You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.

In the middle of the Bear’s tantrum, which allow me to mention — this might have been his third one, total, in his five years of life — it’s totally not like him — the first one ever was shockingly embarrassing when we had to leave a pool party early…never mind. In the middle of the Bear’s tantrum, the thing that finally connected me with him enough to manage to get him off the ground and on the way home was stooping down to look him in the eyes.

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{It doesn’t always look like this…}

However, I pretty much presided over the entire tantrum, from my vantage point, a couple of feet above him.

But my conclusion as I washed the dishes and thought about the best course of action? It would have been very good for me to have gotten down on his level sooner — to gently discuss the situation, to talk about what was happening in a way that could have put it in perspective for him, instead of barking out my own threats or wishes or commands or whatever else.

Sometimes the mess a kid is in can feel so bad you don’t want to get in it. You don’t want to bend down to try to start wading through the web of emotions and screens to get to the heart and really gain understanding.

But how gloriously good is this?

In the midst of our own mess, our collective strops and tantrums and rages, our arms-crossed defiant head-shaking no-shouting ways, (which are sometimes not visual from the outside, mind you) the God of the Universe stooped down to make us great.

Jesus condescended, entered a broken world, and created an opportunity for us to climb off the back of our own drama llamas, and to choose a life well-lived, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to the honor and glory of God.

The verses that surround this one from Psalm 18 declare the goodness of God, and discuss what He does to strengthen and encourage and prepare His people for the battles that we will face. He does not leave us to face the challenges that absolutely do come our way empty-handed.

Other translations declare that His humility, or His mercy, or His gentleness makes us great. And amen. But I love the picture of the God of the Universe stooping down to look us in the eyes, the way I might have better connected if I’d decided to kneel in front of a frustrated son that day.

Who could have expected the God who created the universe to love the people He created this much? With this everlasting, never-changing love!

And He stoops down, AND says,

“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” {Jer. 31:3}

The love of God for you and me is the most incredible unexpected treasure. And the Holy stooping He does, to help us wade through our own mire, turn our eyes to Him, be lifted up and gain understanding? It is nothing short of glorious.

xCC