The Parenthood | Caroline Collie

He Came, He Saw, He Pouted

Sep 24, 2011 | Stories, The Parenthood

Although this post is available to friends and family near and far, being posted on these here internets, it is especially devoted to the Goo-Goo and Gammy who are spoken of each and every day, who I’m certain would like to hear how preschool is going. And who would also probably like to hear that after requesting a drive to G-pa’s house on Wednesday, the Bear asked where Goo-Goo and Gammy’s house was. He was disappointed that “not so close” and “South Africa” were words involved in answering that question.

Miss you guys.

Okay everybody. The Bear had his first day of preschool on Monday.

And the morning started off in a bit of a blurry wee hurry, but when he tripped over his own foot in the living room and met the floor a lot faster than usual and cried his eyes out and wanted me to hold him and wanted Daddy to hold him, the thought suddenly occurred to me that that very same thing could happen. And happen at preschool. And I wouldn’t be there.

It was a troublesome thought, which I banished quickly to a dark recess for another day, and pressed on through the morning without tears. A remarkable achievement, don’t ya think?

As we embarked on the adventure to preschool, the photojournalism, documenting this historic event began.

The Bear seemed… concerned… about the day ahead.

Perhaps it was a defiant look of determination.

And then rather an “I’ve got this” sort of pose.

Mayhaps he was downright excited?

But arriving at the gates he was back to determined.

An expression followed quickly by an I think I can moment.

Upon arrival, he gave the space an intentional perusal before settling in.

And determined it was worthwhile spending time here.

Perhaps it could even be good. {Especially if I get to play with this! thought he.}

He felt uncertain about the customs and behaviour of the natives.

{And his mother blurred faces out, because we’re back in the land where people have sued people for less, and I don’t have parental permission!}

He was uncertain that the friendliness of their leader was genuine.

{But his mother thinks his teacher is Awesome! Capital A.}

And by the time his mother came to collect him at morning’s end…

{disclaimer: Quiver Tree Photography would like it to be known that it is not responsible for this shocking attempt at a photograph. And I take full responsibility for the lack of skill involved in its capturing.}

…the overall outlook at the end of day one was pretty bleak. Perhaps starting a week late (he couldn’t help it, he was in the UK!) was a bigger problem than we thought.

On Day Two, after a field trip to the local library, there was a heart sore moment involving one or two kids’ parents or grandparents arriving before the Bear’s (he didn’t know I’d been waiting in the parking lot for ten minutes). The (perceived) temporary absence of his mother was mildly disturbing. I arrived to find him in tears about it. Fortunately, that was very brief.

On Day Three, his stuffed animal Beaver made an appearance in the classroom. And besides practicing the songs they sing in the morning that I’d picked up while sitting in with him for a little while (at his request) we’d practiced answering important questions: Beaver’s name is Beaver. Beaver is the colour brown, Beaver is small. Mama got Beaver in Germany. (Which sounded like Jury-uh when he said it.)

And somehow, on day three, things began magically clicking into place. (Answered prayer.) And the Bear enjoyed preschool. And seemed happy when Dada arrived to pick him up. The teacher’s assistant said he had a very good day.

Monday will be day four, and here’s hoping there’s more happy in store!

So, that’s how it’s going with preschool! Goo-Goo and Gammy, we wish you were here!

xCC

Three is the New Two

Aug 18, 2011 | Baby Photos, The Parenthood

I suppose it’s hard to understand until you live it… the way it feels like time starts flying.

One day it’s this

and then this

and then it feels like overnight it’s this

and this

and a first birthday

and growing and changing

and learning

and suddenly there’s a second birthday

and even more growing and changing

IMG_7928 copy

and before you know it, he’s spelling his name for strangers, and he’s figured out how to hold up three fingers and speak in full sentences and tell you “I love you Mommy, see you soon” when you put him down for a nap on his third birthday.

So you have to look at pictures to remember that this ever happened because the baby is gone, gone, gone.

What an honour and a treasure these three years have been!

Happy Birthday to our delightful Bear!

xCC

So teach us to number our days,
That we may gain a heart of wisdom. {Ps. 90:12}

The Parenthood Scout Troop

Aug 15, 2011 | Stories, The Parenthood

The idea occurred to me around one a.m. At least I think it was one a.m. — you reach a point when you stop wondering what unpleasant hour in the middle of the night it is that your children have you out of bed after a while. The Hubs, the Tank and I were asleep on a blow-up mattress in HH’s sister’s place, and the Bear was tucked into his tent at the foot of our bed.

He woke up with a frightful holler: Mom-muhhhhhhh! Mom-meeeee! And I got up and grabbed him, with the expectation that I’d be comforting him back to sleep because he’d had a bad dream. Instead, once he was in my arms he uttered two simple, but very profound words:

“I feel.”

He wimpered and then repeated them: “I feel.”

And before I had a chance to make sense of what it was exactly that he was feeling, I had an unexpected feeling: the feeling of his dinner of sausage and mashed potatoes, which made a second appearance on his shirt, all over my shirt, and in my hair.

Bummer.

Hero Hubs began the arduous task of tip-toeing into the master bedroom and giving the Bear a bath while I began the equally arduous task of rinsing all of the items that had been so gracefully baptized with bangers and mash.

We’d been in the Kruger National Park looking for game for a few days prior to this incident, and the only animal out of the Big Five we’d failed to catch a glimpse of was the lion.

The last article of clothing I was busy rinsing chunks from at that delightful hour when all is well if all are asleep, was the Bear’s little pajama top. That little pajama top was decorated with a little lion in his own pajamas. I felt certain at that moment, in the middle of the night, that it was some strange twist of fate — here is my lion, wild, and messy, and smiling at me with a knowing smirk, as if he knew all along we’d meet here, just like this.

Can I say I saw all of the Big Five in the wild on this trip now?

As I finished rinsing his murky mane, I pondered why it is exactly that these are the moments when I feel most like a mother. Some thirty-six hours before the Bear and I had our heads leaned out the window of Mr. Potato Head as his diesel engine grumbled us through the Kruger. We giggled as we tracked animals by looking at pawprints along the dirt road, and we felt certain that a particular type of poop we were consistently spotting was poop that belonged to a Gruffalo. It was a magical moment — a special memory.

But one a.m., at the gorgeous oversized basin of my sister-in-law’s guest bathroom, rinsing puke from blankets, a sheet, two t-shirts and my hair, why does this feel like motherhood?

I decided at that moment that Parenthood deserves its own system of special merit badges. The first badge that came to mind, of course, was the I Got Puked On in the Middle of the Night and Can’t Wash My Hair Until Morning Badge.

Screaming Child in the Grocery Store and Child Throwing Tantrum on the Floor in Public would have to be on the list. My Kid Figured Out How to Unlock the Bathroom Door and I Was Publicly Viewed While Sitting on the Toilet, My Kid Pulled Up My Skirt in Front of Strangers and My Kid Ran Off in Public and I Freaked Out Trying to Find Him have to make the cut.

And of course, there are many other Merit Badges we parents can aspire toward earning:

I Peed into a Diaper on a Long Road Trip Rather Than Stop the Car With Sleeping Kids

My Toddler Wailed Loudly From Take-off to Landing on a Three-Hour Flight (Extra merit: Longer Flight)

My Kid Used a Swear Word in Front of the Pastor (Extra merit: During His Sermon)

We Spent the Night In the Emergency Room Once a Week for Two Months Because of Minor Household Accidents

I’ve Made a Personal Apology to Every Woman in a Changing Room After Realising My Son Crawled Under Each and Every Door

My Daughter Pulled Up Her Dress and Flashed the Church During the Christmas Pageant

I’ve Pretended to Not Know Whose Kids My Kids Were to Avoid Public Embarrassment

My Son Punched a Public Figure in the Crotch in Front of a Large Crowd (Extra merit if it’s A Well-Known Celeb)

I Was Pooped On Just Before Boarding a Plane For an Eleven-Hour Flight (Extra merit: With No Change of Clothes)

I’ve decided a talented graphic designer should come up with the style and design of the badges, and like everything else these days, they’ll be printed as stickers and stuck to our cars. That way, friends and strangers alike can be impressed by what successful parents we are.

Don’t even try to steal this idea, I’m getting a trademark next week and stickers will be in print soon.

Got any badge requests?

xCC

Funny Face

Aug 9, 2011 | Baby Photos, The Parenthood

Here’s a fun experiment for your next rainy day.

Grab your camera

and tell your kid

to make a funny face.

Make sure your trigger finger’s ready

because you never know

what you’re gonna get.

xCC

A Conversation with a Two-Year Old

Aug 8, 2011 | The Parenthood

As the Bear nears the dawning of the third year of his life, one of my favourite things about this stage in his development is his increasing vocabulary and communication skills. Every once in a while we have a conversation that makes me marvel at how much a tiny person understands and is able to communicate. Other times it’s his word choice or pronunciation that puts a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye.

Like how he thinks cats say “Me-wow” and still ends every “May I …” request with a “Yes may youuuuu.”

In order to understand the following story, you need to know that we were staying in a resort near Kruger that had Vervet Monkeys — they’d come from the jungle area nearby and bypass the electric fencing by making their way through the trees. When they came for a visit, their watchful little eyes were ready to seize an opportunity to slip through an open window and raid a cupboard or ruin an unattended meal.

Our place had a balcony to the great outdoors and little guys like this one were watching in the grass below…

{Don’t let that innocent face fool you…he’s up to monkey business.}

Recently a conversation took place between the Hubs and the Bear that fell into the delightful twinkle-in-my-eye-marvelling-Mama category, and it went a lil’ something like this:

Scene: The Baby has two dummies. The orange one is missing and was last seen in the hands of the elder brother. The interrogation begins.

Hero Hubs: Bear, what did you do with your brother’s dummy?

The Bear: {unintelligible mumbles and squeals}

HH: Bear, you were the last one to have Blake’s dummy. What did you do with it?

Bear: A monkey came and grab it.

HH: Now I know that this little monkey (gesturing at the Bear) grabbed it, but what happened to it?

Bear: I drop it and kick it into da garden. And monkey came and grabbed it.

We almost found the story a little hard to believe, and we haven’t been able to stop laughing about it. I asked the Bear to tell me what happened to Blake’s dummy again later, and this was the response:

The Bear: I just kick into garden and a monkey grab.

Me: Did that really happen or are you telling a story?

Bear: Happened.

So friends, somewhere in the bushveld far far away, a vervet monkey is up a tree, and she is using the first pacifier our second son ever used to soothe her baby monkey to sleep.

How’s that for monkey business?

xCC

I Almost Forgot My Four Month Old!

Jul 15, 2011 | Baby Photos, The Parenthood

He’s already close to five months and I still haven’t put the four month photos up yet! How did this happen? I really can’t think of what could have been going on that would’ve put the important task of sharing these photos on the back burner for three weeks!