Apr 14, 2010 | The Parenthood, Top Ten Lists
Dear Bear Bear,
We had a really special week last week. I decided to record it here on my blog so that perhaps ten years from now you can come back and read it and laugh with me. I like doing Top Ten Lists, which probably makes no sense to you right now, but at least the other readers can enjoy it in the meantime.*
These were the Top Ten Special Moments we had with special little you, just last week.
10. You decided to stop going in your dishwasher box play house to use your pretend cell phone. Instead you walked around the house holding it to your ear and saying Hey-low? Hay-yo? Hay-low? It was a new week’s worth of evidence to your Mom and Dad that you’re pretty much a genius.
"Have you run the numbers yet? Well then I'm gonna have to get back to you on that."
9. I was feeling sick on Thursday and stayed in bed most of the day. When your Dad got you up from your nap, you walked right into my bedroom, waved your tiny hand at me, and said “Hey!” It was the highlight of my day.
8. You yawned in my face one night and it was the first time I’d ever smelled you have bad breath. It was very endearing and sweet, fortunately. I feel like a Mom for remembering and appreciating that.
7. You decided to give a glass full of very red drink a good shake, and it managed to creatively decorate one little sleeve of your white long sleeve top. It also managed to creatively decorate my prayer journal.
6. And the floor and my grocery receipts.
5. Oh yeah, and my laptop.
4. You learned to sign “sorry” last week, and although developing this knowledge was unrelated to the previously mentioned incidents, it has been really precious to see you say you’re sorry when you do something you shouldn’t. If there’s anything folks need to learn how to say, it’s I’m sorry, so I think you’re off to a good start. What’s really delightful is that you often sign it with both hands at the same time, so I think you’re indicating that you’re really sorry. Good Bear!
3. I have no idea why, but you had copious amounts of gas last week. Your Dad and I found it hilarious, and once you realised that, I think you decided to keep tooting as much as you could just for the laughs. At least the gas didn’t make you unpleasant. It sure was funny.
It Wasn't Me
2. You gave me a fat lip last week. WWF style. I mean you really tackled me with a head butt and I had to get up and walk away to overcome the urge to cry at my throbbing lip. Man, you’re growing up fast!
1. You woke up from two naps super grumpy, which is unusual for you, but you decided the best way to overcome those grump-grumps was to let me hold you and rub your back. You never sit still with me for that long unless we’re reading or watching Veggie Tales! I was teary-eyed enjoying those special moments with your little head resting on my chest. I’m glad you’re not a grumpy bear, but I sure don’t mind getting to cuddle you for a while!
All in all, Bear Bear, it was a pretty special week. And even though you almost killed my MacBook, I’ve never loved you more. Thanks for bringing our lives so much sparkle!
Lots of Love,
Mom
*The other readers might also be happy to know my MacBook is up and running again! Hooray!
Dec 17, 2009 | Guest Posts, South Africa, Top Ten Lists
Hey guys and gals! Â Hope you are doing well today! I am delighted to share that I’m guest posting on my sweet friend Amanda Avery’s blog today, so please check it out! The pictures to go with the post didn’t upload, so I’ve included them here. 🙂 Hope you enjoy. More to come from Bloemfontein soon! xoxoC
Too funny not to share…
He will give you very good price.
Don’t forget to check out Amanda’s blog, or else these pictures won’t make sense!
Thanks for the invitation Amanda! Â I hope we can have you on the show here soon! 🙂
Nov 14, 2009 | Guest Posts, Top Ten Lists
My brother in law, Andy, has a great sense of humour. He and my sister, Dodi, are SUCH a perfect match for each other. There’s probably not another couple in the world that gets more laughs out of farts and pooping dogs. He tells lots of unbelievable (and unbelievably funny) stories, and I think most of them are true! (He really was on American Gladiators!) Andy has arranged a special top ten for you on the blog today. If you’re interested in reading more of his funny stuff, check out his blog, That Happened People! here. Welcome to the show Andy!
The 10 Biggest myths I was Told in My Life
10.  There is a snail in my nose who would bite my finger off if I picked my nose. (Either that snail is slow or I’m quick.)
9.  There’s a Tooth Fairy. (I knew this was fake when I got an IOU.)
8. Sitting too close to the TV will make you blind. (What if the TV is off?)
7. Mixing Pop Rocks and soft drinks will make your stomach explode. (I tried to use this as an excuse to skip school.)
6. Pepsi is better than Coca-Cola. (That actually qualifies as a lie.)
5. Cheaters never win. (Last time I checked Alex Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez took steroids and they won the World Series.)
4. AOL is tracking my email and if I forward “this email” to 10 people Bill Gates will send me money. (Don’t worry, Bill, I know you’re good for it.)
3. There was a secret world on Super Mario Brothers. (There is no secret world.)
2. That I could be a professional baseball player. (This was wrong on so many levels.)
1. My brother used to tell me I was adopted. (His story had some weight, I have almost every recessive trait in our family.)
My point: I’m living the American Dream.
–Andy
Thanks for the laughs, Andy! Funny enough, your wife used to tell me I was adopted too! Love you guys, and can’t wait to meet the wee one on the way!
Nov 4, 2009 | Guest Posts, Scotland, Top Ten Lists
Top of the Week to ya! And this week it’s especially top! Please welcome our first guest poster, Laura Anne! She’s a friend of mine from Bonnie Scotland, who has arranged a special top ten for you this week. If you’d like to read more from this sweet and funny gal, you can check out her blog here! For now it’s on with the show…
Top Ten Ways to Corrupt Your Friend’s Children
So I’ve just spent a week with 2 families on holiday in Cornwall. Enter an almost-5-year-old, a 3-year-old and an 11 month old into my life.
Exit 3 corrupted children…
Amazingly my parenting friends still let me around their children, but if you’d like to have some fun with none of the responsibility like me, here are 10 tips on how you can corrupt your friends’ children. But apply them at your own peril!
10. At a children’s birthday party, teach kids how to eat Milky Ways the ‘proper’ way. Pick off all the chocolate on the outside (sides first, the bottom, then the top last), then eat the soft nougat bit in the middle.
Same principles apply to Jaffa Cakes and Oreos.
In case you're not from the UK, these are Jaffa Cakes! A lovely mess if eaten 'properly.'
9. If you happen to find yourself in a hotel room with your friend’s child – teach them how to throw themselves on/jump on the bed. When parents come in and say “Now no jumping on the bed,” you say “Of course not, no, I would never encourage your child to jump on beds.”
8. Bribe your friends’ daughters into eating their tea (dinner) by offering to paint one of their fingernails or toenails with pink nail varnish for every spoonful they eat.
7. Have many piercings. Kids will ask about them. Then you can tell gory disgusting stories about how each one was done.
6. Entertain babies by rocking out in the form of headbanging with teething toys (noisy ones). By the time they are 18 months old headbanging and moshing will be their preferred methods of dancing and you’ve got the early signs of heavy metal rockstar prodigy right there.
5. Want your friend’s kid to support your football team? Nothing quite like a cute teddy bear dressed in team kit to help them along the way – bear must wear the team scarf. The scarf novelty will make it their favourite bear…and voila…you’ve got another fan!
4. Babysit. With no parents around you can make slides down the stairs with duvets, blow up ready brek in the microwave or get toy lightsabres and re-enact fight scenes from Star Wars.
3. If shopping with children, point out CCTV cameras and tell them that’s ‘elf-vision’…Santa’s preferred method of watching children at all times to see if they should go on his naughty or nice list.
2. Choose your TV programme watching very carefully. If your friend’s kid walks in to find you watching How to Look Good Naked then suddenly you’ll find yourself trying to explain why the lady on the TV thinks she looks hideous and how Gok Wan is trying to help.
1. The ultimate: all children should know we have two stomachs. One for the main course, and the 2nd for puddings and sweeties…but most importantly chocolate and ice cream. That’s why even when kids are ‘full up’ or ‘had enough’ they still have room for pudding!
Thanks for the laughs Laura Anne! And for my American readership, I should note that in the UK ‘pudding’ means any type of dessert, and not just ‘pudding.’
Oct 21, 2009 | South Africa, Stories, Top Ten Lists
Top of the week to you again! We’ve decided to add a new feature to the site, with more posts about visiting South Africa. We have several friends planning to visit us over the next few years — including some coming quite soon. And, a ton of people will be piling into SA in 2010 as the FIFA World Cup gets underway in awesome venues all around the country! Look for a new page and some great changes coming soon!
We thought we’d begin to prepare our friends (and folks we don’t know) for their trip. Even if you’re not sure when you might be making your way ‘way down South’ we hope you’ll enjoy the photos and suggestions, with some good humour thrown in. Hope to see you here soon!
Photo Courtesy of Waynne Meintjes
Top Ten Things You Should Know About “Going on Safari” in SA
10. You are going to have to go to a national park or a game reserve to see a lot of the animals you probably want to see. I am sorry if this news disappoints you. Elephants and hippos don’t walk through town as often as you may have imagined.
9. It is good to know that whilst in South Africa, you should say you’d like to go “game viewing†or “go see some game†or “go on a game drive” instead of “go on safari.†When in Rome…try not to be a touron.
8. Some folks will be excited to know you can see game on horseback in some game reserves. I, on the other hand, rue the day I thought this was a good idea. The leisurely two hour jaunt was actually three hours, I still have a scar on my hand from holding the reigns so tightly because my horse was a ninnymuggins, and I walked like a cowboy for the next three days. It’s an idea, I just don’t know if it’s a good one.
7. There are some game reserves relatively close to Cape Town (a lot of folks would like to kill two birds with one stone and see Cape Town and the Big 5). You will still most likely need to rent a car to get to any of them. Most of the best game reserves, however, are in the northeastern part of the country, near the Kruger National Park. You might therefore consider flying into Johannesburg, seeing some game at a reserve nearer to there, and then taking a domestic flight (Kulula and Mango are good options) to spend some time in the Cape. Problem solved. Alternatively, there are tour groups that do trips to certain reserves, like Aquila, from Cape Town. This is also a good option.
6. All game reserves are not created equal. Pay attention to their websites and what animals they boast on their properties. And then go to Trip Advisor and see what other people thought. A lot of the reserves are like big zoos with tame animals that you have to drive to see. This is okay and will give you pretty pictures, but it’s not quite the authentic experience. To get the authentic experience, you need to go to the big reserves in the north east of the country, or pay the big bucks at the posh reserves in the Cape.
5. The best time to view game is actually during the winter, when the bush is lower and less verdant, and the temperatures are cooler. In the summer, the bush is high and thick, making game viewing more difficult. The game spend the hottest part of the summer days sheltered in the shade, and normally out of sight.
4. South Africa is in the southern hemisphere! So spring and summer run from September to April, and autumn and winter from May to August.
3. Malaria is only a concern in the northeastern part of the country. If you fear malaria, pay the big bucks and go to the posh reserves in the Eastern Cape. However, you can take malaria medication in preparation for your trip, and you should really be fine. Medical Care in South Africa is very good, in case you’re concerned.
2. You have the option of going on a field-guide led trip, where you’ll be taken on the back of a Land Rover and driven around, or on a self-driven game drive. Guide-led trips are often the popular option because the field guides are usually in contact with one another by radio, and so have a good idea of where the game is at a particular time. A self-driven trip will be less expensive — you should find information at the entrances of most reserves as to what game has been seen in which areas of the park. You’ll miss out on the knowledge of the field guide, but you’ll save the cash. I’d recommend doing at least one game drive with a field guide. You don’t have to stay on a reserve to go to the reserve and see game. If you decide to do a self-driven game drive, please see the next point for very important details.
1. If you go on a self-driven game drive and the signs say Don’t Get Out of the Car, then Don’t Get Out of the Car. Seriously. Many Asian tourists have lost their lives trying to make a peace sign beside the lions. Actually, this is a good rule of thumb, whether there are signs or not: On a game reserve, Don’t Get Out of the Car. Remember, this is Africa. The Cats don’t meow. They roar.
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