Hero Hubs and His Too-Tight T-Shirt

“Why do my clothes feel so tight today?”

With a quizzical brow, Mark emerged from our closet wearing a long sleeved t-shirt soooooo tight, it looked like it should be cutting off his circulation. 

After puzzling for only half a second or so, I replied:

“Because you’re wearing my t-shirt.”

Last year, the hubs and I were each given a lovely dark green t-shirt from our friends at the Children’s Miracle Network. With white lettering and that trademark hot air balloon, the only difference is that my shirt is a small… and Mark’s is a large.

The folder and sorter of the laundry (yours truly) made a minor… error.

He leaned over and stretched his arms toward me so I could peel off the offending article, but as I turned back to get ready for the day, my giggling quickly changed to that quizzical brow Mark had at first:

How often do I try to fit in someone else’s clothes?

If I only had one last message to share with the world, I think I would want it to be this:

You were created with a race to swim, and a lane to swim it in. 

Stay in your lane. Swim your own race.

Though the oldest of my four kids is only twelve, I can already see how often each of them compare their gifts and abilities, and even their appearances with one another.

As their Mama, I marvel at how different each of them are, and I ponder how God is going to use each of their talents for their good and His glory.

I think sometimes we forget, though, that while we were all created for a purpose – we weren’t all created for the exact same purpose. Just glance at the list in Ephesians 4:11 and you can see, God’s hand is there, with different plans and accompanying gifts:

“And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers…”

And yet sometimes we get distracted by what someone else is doing or achieving, creating or arranging.

Friend, I hope these words will serve as a reminder to you that you are God’s poetry. Truly, the word Paul chose in Ephesians 2:10 translates “poetry.” God intends to write a beautiful story with your life – and it is not going to be like anyone else’s.

So don’t try to squeeze yourself into someone else’s shirt, or someone else’s hope or dream or New Year’s resolution. There is space a-plenty for you to walk into the destiny God had in mind when He created you, precious you.

P.S. Last year I enjoyed Parker Palmer’s book, Let Your Life Speak, very much. If you feel like you might be trying to live in someone else’s t-shirt, I recommend finding a copy to help you identify your own gifts and abilities from a thoughtful, peaceful place of faith. {Click here to find it on Amazon.}

P.P.S.  Just for fun… I updated my Five Step Meal Plan Guide with a month’s worth of our favorite weeknight meals in 2020. If you’re hoping to eat well at home this year, I’d love for you to grab the free updated guide by clicking below. It’ll walk you through setting up a meal plan system in five steps, and it includes 40 recipe ideas to get your wheels turning!

And please, if it’s helpful, please share this link with a friend so they can enjoy it, too!! 

Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for your love and support!

Science Experiment Lessons : Be More Contagious Than Corona

My dining room is currently the location of a small but important science experiment. 

We have a GoPro and an ICE Light (this photography lighting tool that looks like a light saber) hovering over dishes containing lemon juice, apple juice, orange juice, and good old-fashioned air. 

This morning we dipped some apple slices in the various liquids (or air) and we’re waiting to see how the liquids (or lack thereof) affect the browning of the apples.

I’ve peeked in throughout the day and lemon juice is a definite front runner, but apple juice has held her own pretty well. No juice is definitely not a great choice if you’re trying to slow the browning process, so that hypothesis has been nailed down pretty tight.

It has got me thinking though: 

What’s stopping you and me from turning brown? Anything?

Ask ten people about their life in 2020, and you’ll get ten stories. But some common themes will surely emerge… words like tough, challenging, difficult, discouraging. 

Nothing magical happens when we flip the calendar to a new year – so what can we do with the control we do have to live a different story this year?

Here’s the thing, friend. You and me? 

We’re like apple slices. And every day we get out of bed, the world wants to convince us that it’s full of reasons to be mad, angry, sad and completely hopeless. 

We could go along with that. Because there seems like a lot of evidence to credit that point.

But a writing coach/mentor of mine this week pointed out something I’m still thinking about. COVID has spread from person to person, right? It’s contagious like that, so one person has it… and then they can pass it on to another person, and so on.

But lots of other things are contagious, too. The kinds of things that stop us from turning brown. Kindness can be contagious. Hope can be contagious. Watch a stadium of fans in the last thirty seconds of a tight game. Respect, gentleness, patience, perseverance… so many good things can be contagious. 

The best way for us to go out and spread the good stuff is to get absolutely smothered in it, every day.  

We dipped those apple slices, and then flipped them over to wet the other sides, tapped off the drips and sat them out for observation.

And you and I? We can get saturated in God’s goodness. 

We can soak in it. We can dive deep in the Word. Meditate on it. Memorize it. Read it aloud. Study it. Listen to it being read.

We can swim far in the ocean of prayer. Long and deep on our knees prayer. Quick and quiet under our breath throughout the day prayer. Big group prayers and all alone prayers.

We can worship, praising God for the beautiful sunrise out our window, giving thanks for the food in the pantry, singing at the top of our lungs, or just holding onto a tune in our hearts. We always need reminding: we can feed on His faithfulness.

Three hours have passed and that lemon-juice-soaked apple slice might be starting to show the faintest signs of browning. 

Sitting out in the world without preservatives will do that to us eventually.

But this is where the story departs for you and me: we can go boldly out into the world, ready to be a contagion of light – and then when we need it, wherever we are, we can come home to Jesus and get soaked again.

P.S. Just for fun… I updated my Five Step Meal Plan Guide with a month’s worth of our favorite weeknight meals in 2020. If you’re hoping to eat well at home this year, I’d love for you to grab the free updated guide by clicking below. It’ll walk you through setting up a meal plan system in five steps, and it includes 40 recipe ideas to get your wheels turning! 

And please, if it’s helpful, please share this link with a friend so they can enjoy it, too!! 

Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for your love and support!

Me: Undressing in front of an open window

True story. The Hubs and I have a pretty dialed in routine. 

He makes the coffee while I start the laundry.

I fill the bowls while he pours the juice.

And apparently?

He closes the curtains to our cloffice. (Ya know, the closet/office.)

He was away for a shoot this week (the kind that involves cameras and drones, not guns) and I was deep in thought, pulling off layers of exercise clothes with nary a care.

It was only when I grasped the waistband of my yoga pants to tug them down that I happened to look up and realize – ugh, whoops – I’m changing clothes in front of an open window.

My goodness, I was grateful I still had a shirt on as I walked to the window and pulled the curtains shut.

Looks like I need to do a little bit more paying attention.

The week between Christmas and New Year’s can be pretty weird right? 

I often feel fuzzy about what day it is, or what I’m supposed to be doing. Do I have to pack up the Christmas stuff now… or can I leave it out until February?

But collectively – perhaps globally – we’re also in this period of transition. It’s not just about flipping the calendars and saying goodbye to 2020, though that’s part of it, it seems like something more. As vaccines roll out and we think maybejustmaybe there is an end in sight for this pandemic, there’s an awful lot to think about. 

What does that mean for you and me?

It could mean a lot of things. So instead of nailing down resolutions for 2021 or preparing to foist yourself back into your life pre-pandemic routine, I’d like to encourage you to just give yourself some time to pay attention.

Maybe while you’re paying attention, you can direct that attention to a few specific questions.

  • What gifts can I remember with gratitude as I say goodbye to this season?
  • Has living in a pandemic brought on some fresh anxiety for me?
  • Are there new worries or fears that I perhaps ought to get into the habit of bringing to the cross?
  • Has my pace changed in these pandemical times – and was any of that change perhaps for the better?
  • How is my body feeling? How might I care for it better in the year ahead?
  • Does the idea of new resolutions fill me with excitement or dread?

You see, friend, even if all of us have lived through 2020, each of us has lived a different year. We’ve had different wins and different losses. Different highs and lows, successes, and failures.

And God’s plans for you, precious you? They are different from His plans for everyone else.

So in the midst of ringing in the New Year with a bang or a quiet, peaceful hooray, consider this your permission slip to take some time to just pay attention to what your soul might need in this season of transition. 

While you’re at it, remember:

Be kind to yourself. Don’t ignore the unease or dismiss the discomfort. Our most important lessons often come out of the hardest seasons we face. So grab a notebook and a pencil if it helps, and see what you can learn by just paying attention.

Looking back can be a precious gift to our souls before moving forward. 

And maybe? You won’t undress in front of the neighborhood because you’re paying attention.

P.S. My favorite/most popular New Year’s Post from ten years ago – when we had just one little kiddo in the Collie family – will bless you, heart and soul, if you can take a moment to read it. (It’s really good news.)

Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for your love and support!

One thing I learned when I tried to write our story

Did you know that a typical screenplay has about 40 scenes or scene sequences in total?

Unlike lining up batteries (positive to negative) the scenes should line up so that one starts on a high (positive emotional value) and ends on a low, and the next begins low and ends high. 

This year I began sticking index cards to my wall, arranging them into scenes and sequences that would eventually become the backbone of a screenplay. This was perhaps the biggest learning experience of 2020 for me.

Even if a lot of tears hit the keyboard while I was doing it.

Longing to retell the story of our experience with Blake, his aneurism, coma, and 48 day hospital stay, I pored over every Facebook update, reread countless prayers in my journal, and reconstructed the details of all the life and emotion packed into the journey.

Tears were expected.

Then came the part I wasn’t expecting. Sometimes in order to tell a story in a way that fits inside a structure in terms of time or character count, choices have to be made. Not every moment and person can be included.

And you may have to make a choice between telling it the way it happened, or for the sake of time or interest or character development, you might have to make a change. 

When it came time for me to make a creative choice, I found myself thinking about what I wanted at the time, what God actually wrote, and it always seemed – His way of writing the story was so much more beautiful than mine. 

At the time, it was painful. So. So. Painful.

But now? I see how it was so much more meaningful than what I would have written if He had handed me the pen in the days when it was all actually happening in our lives.

For many of us, 2020 has been a “How long, Oh, Lord?” kind of year. 

You know what?

The Book of Psalms is full of Psalms of Lament and Psalms of Praise – Lament outnumbers Praise in the early part of the book, but then the Praise ones outnumber the Psalms of Lament as the book progresses toward its conclusion. 

As we reflect on a year that has been very different, and for many of us, very hard, perhaps we all need reminding that there is space for whatever we are feeling. 

There is a time for lament, and a time for praise. And sometimes, it’s the same time.

Hallelujah for Advent! We can pour out praises to Jesus for coming down to Earth. Hallelujah, for Lament! We can also pour out our hearts in honesty, asking God to continue His great rescue plan, to do a new thing and to remake this world the way He intended in the beginning.

Who would believe God would choose to write this story? The Great Rescue plan hinged on sending a tiny baby, like a loaf of bread, to the House of Bread, Bethlehem.

He became the Bread of Life that would be broken for the world.

This life in between can be so challenging, friends. It’s true. I hope you can take courage in the knowledge that God is actively, intimately acquainted with the details of your story. 

Even when it’s painful at the time, He so often uses postponement to make the best become possible.

Reflecting on the journey this year, I’m more convinced than ever. We can be honest, we can be patient, and we can trust: the Lord, the Lord our God? 

He writes the best stories.

P.S. If you’re in gift-giving mode, I’d love to welcome you to visit my 2020 Holiday Gift Guide. It has ideas for different ages and budgets and I hope it’ll be a helpful slice of inspiration for you! Peace and GRACE to you today, friend!!! Click the link below to see the Holiday Guide and Grab the Hassle Free Holiday Guide I created to help you plan and prepare for more peace during the holidays!

Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for your love and support!

Do you tend to think it HAS to be bad?

I got out for a walk last week to clear my thoughts and think some new ones.

When I came to a sharp turn on a tree-lined street, with fallen leaves scattered everywhere, the setting sun gently smiling through the gaps in the branches, I stopped to try to snap a picture of that beautiful moment in time.

Just that morning, I’d been praying and God had reminded me of the word “Adventure” and I was thinking about whether I am still excited by what’s around the bend in the road ahead.

Adventure was this magical word I felt God whisper to my heart, fully 20 years ago, when I was just beginning to walk with Him.

Adventure was this bold invitation. I said yes to adventure again, serving Him in Mexico for the summer a couple of years later.

The adventure of following Him took me to South Africa and Zambia the next year, and to Scotland the year after that.

His adventure was calling when I packed two suitcases and moved to Edinburgh for who-knew-how-long in 2005.

Saying yes to God’s invitation to adventure has meant so many things I treasure: marrying a South African I met in Scotland, calling two foreign countries home for extended periods, giving birth on three different continents.

Somewhere along the way though, things got hard. From financial struggles and harsh experiences on the mission field to “starting over” in North Carolina and, more recently, handling a traumatic medical experience, nearly losing a child. 

Maybe you can relate?

There are times when walking with God doesn’t exactly feel like the fun adventure you signed up for.

I realized, as I looked at that big curve in the road last week, that sometimes in our life, things can hurt so much we stop believing there can be something good around the bend.

We start to think maybe things are just always gonna be hard.

That belief can really slow us down.
That belief can really make us afraid.
That belief can lead us to start saying a polite “No thanks” to the adventure invitations from our God.

2020 has been a year of hard things and a year of disappointments for so many of us. We’ve said some really hard no’s, faced a lot of really challenging choices, maybe even said some very, very painful goodbyes.

But if we believe in the goodness of God, we have to believe the truth of His promises:

  • That He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. {Jer. 29:11}
  • That when we pass through the waters, He’ll be with us, and when we walk through the fire, we will not be burned. {Isaiah 43:2}
  • That He doesn’t withhold good things from us as we walk with and toward Him. 
    {Psalm 84:11}

Over the next few weeks, I’d like to invite you into a deeper study of this idea, an invitation to begin to reframe our perspective so that we can look forward without fear.

For today, I’d like to encourage you to whisper these words to yourself, to really hear them with your whole soul:

Yes, this year was hard. Yes, so many things hurt. But God has not changed, and neither have His promises.

Our pain is a pathway toward His purposes for us, and there is good, there is good, there is GOOD yet to come. Even when you can’t see it, you know Him and can trust: more good is always just around the bend.

P.S. If you’re in gift-giving mode, I’d love to welcome you to visit my 2020 Holiday Gift Guide. It has ideas for different ages and budgets and I hope it’ll be a helpful slice of inspiration for you! Peace and GRACE to you today, friend!!! Click the link below to see the Holiday Guide and Grab the Hassle Free Holiday Guide I created to help you plan and prepare for more peace during the holidays!

Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for your love and support!

Laundry Detergent FAIL

I’m not exactly a poster child for Good Housekeeping.

So when I switched to a new laundry detergent a few weeks ago, popped open the box and couldn’t find the scooper, I assumed it was buried under the mountain of powder and did what seemed logical:

I used the scooper from the other box.

I measured out the amount I’d used of the other detergent, dumped it into the washer, and carried on with my day.

Seemed like a great idea at the time.

But then things started coming out of the wash with a light dusting of powder, like a lightly frosted rooftop on a winter’s morning.

A desirable trait in rooftops, but not so much men’s trousers.

You can probably guess what happened next?

When I finally got down far enough in that powdery mountain of detergent to find the new scoop I was in for a surprise: it was like, half the size of the other one. Just for fun I measured the amount I had been using into the new scoop and watched it spill over the sides.

Whoops.

The thing is, it got my wheels turning — maybe laundry day has the same affect on you?

Just me?

I started wondering what else I’m using the wrong measuring tools for.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what success looks like. At the end of a year, looking back at what I hoped to do, and comparing that with what I actually did — how do I measure the success of the year?

I turned my thoughts a little higher and started thinking about what God’s definition of success is. And in a moment of clarity I had this thought: 

My checkboxes aren’t nearly as important as the way I’m going about living my days. 

The positioning of my heart, the way I’m turning it toward the Lord (or not) throughout the day, maybe this is what the Lord is looking for? 

A heart that wants to beat in time with His. A posture that leans toward justice, kindness and faithfulness.

What might you be examining in yourself at the end of 2020? And just as important: how are you choosing to measure your year?

Before jumping to any conclusions and dumping the detergent in the washtub, so to speak — consider what measuring stick you’re using for assessment.

God’s measuring stick, I think, looks more like a cross with the word GRACE etched across it. It whispers:

You can walk with gentleness, kindness, and love.

You can be patient, long-suffering and a blessing.

You can live with a heart of joy and peace. 

And when you mess up?

You can fall short and keep going.  

What if God is just looking for people who will turn their hearts towards His, aiming to hear His voice, to listen and obey? What if God is just looking for people who want to faithfully show up?  

As you measure yourself (and your neighbors) these days, remember the way God’s measuring you and me:

G R A C E.

P.S. If you’re in gift-giving mode, I’d love to welcome you to visit my 2020 Holiday Gift Guide. It has ideas for different ages and budgets and I hope it’ll be a helpful slice of inspiration for you! Peace and GRACE to you today, friend!!! Click the link below to see the Holiday Guide and Grab the Hassle Free Holiday Guide I created to help you plan and prepare for more peace during the holidays!

Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for your love and support!