Me, Eating Humble Pie

Question.

Has anything happened lately that forced you to take on a little more humility than you’re generally interested in wearing?

There’s a comedian the Hero Hubs and I find very amusing, and he talks about going to parties and putting his foot in his mouth, because he steps into conversations he doesn’t know anything about. His conclusion was that he should probably join a group and say: 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Can I still stand here?”

Last week I started a conversation with my husband that felt urgent, but I didn’t handle it with care. And it was the type of conversation that deserved to be handled with care. Honestly, I timed it all wrong. I hadn’t really thought it through. His natural response was to be defensive.

When we began unpacking what the trouble was, I could see the poor choices I’d made. And a big fat heavy weight began sitting on my chest. I realized that owning a mistake, apologizing and working it out is every bit as challenging for adults as it is for toddlers – and perhaps even more so.

I was grateful Mark took the time to be honest with me about why he felt the way he felt, and I was reminded that admitting mistakes, talking and processing hurts, and finding a way forward to peace is really dang hard, but man, is it ever necessary!

That kind of communication isn’t just necessary for our marriages – it’s also a part of a vibrant faith.

The heavy weight that sat on my chest when I didn’t want to admit my mistake or apologize to my husband has a name: shame.

And shame likes to communicate its own unpleasant message: You’re a failure. Your mistakes are proof that you’re not good enough. You just plain downright stink. You’re a cotton-headed ninnymuggins.

As that weight sat on my chest for a moment the other morning, though, I also heard a different whisper. Thank goodness the Holy Spirit communicates, too.

Yes, you make mistakes. But your mistakes are why Jesus died. They are covered by His grace. They do not define you. 

You are flawed, but not a failure. 

You are forgiven and redeemed.

Once I could turn my heart toward Jesus, it was easier to remember that admitting I’ve made a mistake does not equal admitting that I am a mistake.

Repentance is really just a fancy way of saying we’re admitting our mistakes and asking for forgiveness, right?

These days I think we are longing to plant flags and feel settled on something. A viewpoint on a particular issue. A side or a stance that we’ve taken on something. Even just an early morning conversation that didn’t go how we wanted it to.

Maybe Holy Spirit wants to gently whisper to you and me, “Darling, I want to show you a better way. You think you know what I’m like, what I like, and what I want. But I am so much more than you can possibly grasp. So walk humbly, child, walk humbly.”

I hope this week you’ll brave the waters of communicating with people you love, and with God, about things that really matter to you. Be brave enough to put yourself out there. Be willing to make big mistakes. And then be humble enough to apologize and know that God can use even your biggest flub-ups for His glory.

P.S. Our story will be on 700 Club tomorrow (April 30th) at 9 am and 11 pm on the Freeform channel!

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I created a new resource to serve folks facing hard seasons of life, called It Won’t Feel Like This Forever: Brave Your Crisis With Wisdom and Faith. It’ll help you communicate with God and the people around you to help you walk through tough seasons.

I’m praying these words will be a gift to many in dark places. If you’re walking a hard road right now, or you know someone who is, I’d love for you to grab this free ebook. It is mercifully short, but holds some hard-fought-for wisdom and practical advice in the form of 5 Simple Tips to help you find the Light in Dark Places. Click the link below and I’ll shoot it to your inbox lickety-split!

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