Oct 14, 2013 | 31 Days, The Good Word
Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m almost halfway through! I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!
If there’s one thing in this world I’m not a big fan of, it’s pain. I’ll be honest with you. Last year, when I wanted to wait for the Belle to arrive in her own perfect timing, part of the reason was that I’d heard so many stories of women being induced and slowly laboring for hours and hours AND hours. When there’s a chance your body could remember how to have a baby in 90 minutes or less — why aim at any alternative? Right?
But on this adventure in searching for goodness in unexpected places, it would be wrong not to look closely at the beautiful and redemptive purposes wrapped up in the presence of pain in our lives.
When I lost my Dad, I began writing with much more fervor, as I found putting words on a page (in this case a web page) very therapeutic, and I felt sure someone else had also been there, and the words might be a source of comfort to them, too.
I had no idea how many people would contact me to tell me how much they enjoyed reading what I wrote when I lost my Dad. HH and I were shopping for bunk beds for our boys and having lost my Dad came up in conversation. The lady who was showing us beds in her store slowly put two and two together, and got excited talking about how much she’d enjoyed what she’d read. People who didn’t even know what a “blog” was had visited this site and always had something very positive to say.
For me, it was incredibly redemptive, and a “beauty from ashes” moment — especially because my Dad was a faithful reader, was excited about my writing, and often encouraged me about my gift. I think he was probably very pleased, looking down to know that a post where I wrote about my relationship with him and how hard it was to lose him, but how I knew I could trust God, had more hits than any other page on my site ever before.
Rightly seen, pain and troubles are opportunities — you can be sure God is near.
James wrote:
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when you faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. {James 1: 2-4}
In His glorious goodness, the Lord saw it fit to make pain and sorrow and trials and difficulties — all suffering — an opportunity. We seize the opportunity by choosing to trust God, accept adversity, and give it back to the Lord to ask that His purposes be accomplished through it.
In Jesus Calling
, Sarah Young wrote {in first person from the Lord’s perspective – so you don’t get confused}
“Bearing your circumstances bravely–even thanking me for them–is one of the highest forms of praise. This sacrifice of thanksgiving rings golden-toned bells of Joy throughout heavenly realms. […] your suffering gains meaning and draws you closer to me. Joy emerges from the ashes of adversity through your trust and thankfulness.” {October 14, p. 301}
When adversity knocks at the door, often that the point in the plot where the story gets really good. The Lord is like an artist that travels to junk yards. He pulls out rough pieces of metal, scraps of an old tire — the kind of stuff the world has seen no value in, tries to avoid and pushes aside.
And with that junkyard stuff? He creates an absolute masterpiece.
He creates a masterpiece out of the broken pieces of our lives. He is always able to create beauty, to surprise us with joy in unexpected circumstances.
Are you walking through something tough right now? I’m sorry that you are — but I know God has a redemptive purpose for your pain. Can you turn to Him and tell Him you trust Him? Can you thank Him for the joy and beauty you are going to see, even when you haven’t seen it yet?
It is gloriously unexpected — our troubles are the medium God chooses to use for His best masterpieces.
xCC
Oct 13, 2013 | 31 Days, The Good Word
Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m in the middle of enjoying. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!
I’m thinking of a word that could bring about an incredible reformation. A single word that could change the face of the Earth completely if every follower of Jesus made it central to his walk.
Here’s a hint:
So Samuel said: “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams. {I Samuel 15:22}
Got it yet?
It’s Obedience.
We celebrate a lot around the Collie household. Not with wild parties or raucous behavior, but with simple moments of joy and cheering, and, when appropriate, perhaps a little tangible reward, too.
We sometimes celebrate the success of a child who took his own initiative to do his business, and successfully did so in the potty. We celebrate because someone has accomplished something new — a first step, a new word, some accomplishment of strength or agility or brainpower.
But I would guess one of our most favorite things to celebrate is simple obedience. We don’t throw a party because one of our kids obeyed us, but we do celebrate with words of praise for the child who, without prompting, made a decision based on what he understood our wishes to be, instead of what he would have probably chosen out of his own volition.
We take the responsibility of raising our children very seriously, and while we desire to train them to hear and obey the voice of God for themselves, we see obedience to us as a good stepping stone in the meantime.
Obedience is a beautiful thing.
And if there’s one word that could change the face of the planet completely, I think it’s the Christian Church getting hold of that one.
We have a heap of knowledge about God these days. It’s as if we think we can reason our way to God, or learn our way into heaven with seven steps or with vigilant attention to just one more sermon series.
But the path to heaven is the one that was paved by the cross.
And to be identified with Christ is to take up our own cross and follow Him.
There is no Easter Sunday without a Good Friday, but still there is Easter Sunday. So this isn’t a works-based suggestion — I am not saying Brethren, Get Your Boots On and let’s work our way to Jesus.
There is Resurrection power thanks to that first Easter Sunday — there is the power of the Holy Spirit, the power that raised Jesus from the dead available to you and me. And what should we do to with that Holy Spirit?
Listen to Him. Hear what He says. Enjoy His presence and the beautiful truth that God loves us deeply and offers us peace. Yield to His leading in our daily lives.
For my kids, obedience is sometimes really hard. Especially if it doesn’t make sense in their minds — if they can’t see the logic in it, they have trouble walking it out. But sometimes the Lord calls us to do things that from our worldly perspective seem illogical, so I don’t consider it my responsibility to make sure my children have a full understanding of why I think they should do this like this or that like that.
As they learn respect for and obedience to authority, we pray that God’s will will become the ultimate authority in their lives.
When we decide to follow Jesus, His Word and His Holy Spirit become the voices of authority for us to listen to.
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. {James 1:22}
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. {Galatians 5:25}
Obeying God and His Word and following the voice of the Holy Spirit is not something I could create an instruction video for and post on youtube. But it is perhaps more simple than we sometimes make it.
It seems like an unpleasant task, and a difficult one, to know that a regular part of our walk with Christ is not just once but daily {even hourly, each moment} saying Not my will, but Thy will be done. And sometimes doing the thing that the Lord is calling you to do rather than the thing you want to do can be very hard.
But there are unexpected gifts to be found here, too — the simple joy (worth celebrating) when you hear and obey the voice of God, the joy that comes from giving when God leads you to do so. The peace of trusting that He won’t lead you to a place where He will not be walking with you. The hope that you are a part of the change you want to see in the world around you — because the God who created this world is indeed making all things new.
How much thought do you give to obedience to God in your daily life? Do you feel like you’re just going about your own business without much attention to what He would have you do? Are you deceiving yourself by hearing the word but not doing it?
I am convinced that in His glorious goodness, the plans He has for us when we obey Him are so much better than anything we could come up with in our own will. Not necessarily easier — but better and of eternal value and absolutely worth celebrating. He’ll give us His Spirit to help us walk the road.
Let’s keep putting one foot in front of the other with His will at heart. We will change the world together.
xCC
Oct 12, 2013 | 31 Days, The Good Word
Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!
When I lost my Dad earlier this year, I mostly found comfort in places you would expect. My wonderful husband has been a great constant – always willing to listen, always present for me. My sweet little ones, who keep me moving, are walking reminders that life goes on and will go on. And, fully and completely, my faith in the God I’ve been talking about throughout this series (and for years before) proved built on a solid foundation: I was sad, disappointed, laid low, but I was not broken, I knew I could keep on.
It was unexpected, however, when the knowledge of my own death became a source of comfort at the loss of my Dad.
Let me e’splain.
I can almost remember where I was siting the moment the thought first occurred to me. Temporarily overwhelmed by the magnitude of grief and what it all meant, I remember thinking Am I going to have to live like this forever? Am I going to feel like this forever?
The first response in my mind, No, because you’re not going to live forever, was a source of comfort and peace.
Imagine grief as the task of moving a heavy piece of furniture. The task is yours to lift it and to move it to the right spot and you are making every effort to get it there. Your knees are practically knocking under the weight of it, but slowly, slowly step by step you’re getting closer to a place where you can sit that piece down. Your back is straining, your muscles are burning, your arms are as tense as they’ve ever been. You’re crazy ready to put it down, but you can’t put it down until you get it to the right spot.
What keeps you going? The knowledge that it’s just a little further to the place where you can take off that heavy burden and breathe easily. Just a few more steps and then…
Release. Relief.
In that Am I going to suffer with this grief forever? moment the first comfort was the knowledge that I wouldn’t suffer like that forever because, very simply, I wouldn’t live forever.
Then, I had the joy of remembering that my Dad had given his life to Jesus. When I lay down the heavy burden of grief (which is getting lighter and easier to carry) and stand on that eternal shore, I’ll get to see him again.
The knowledge that our lives are just a vapor on this Earth is an unexpectedly beautiful gift, a part of God’s glorious goodness. And we’re told to remember and meditate on this truth, because there’s so much wisdom to be found in it:
So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom. {Psalm 90:12}
Here are a few of the many gifts I’ve counted from the knowledge that life is brief:
- We know that anything we’re going through will not last forever — even if for no other reason than the simple truth that we won’t be here forever.
- We’re challenged to make the time that we have on Earth count — because we know it’s a fragile gift, and we’re aware that we don’t know how much time we have. Carpe diem, boys.
- There is a wonderful clarity that comes from seeing this life in relationship to eternity: it is so brief, it is so special. This helps us discern which things are worth valuing and devoting time to and which are not.
- Knowing that people die every day but the world keeps turning reminds us that we will die someday and the world will keep turning — this humbling truth brings us good perspective. We shouldn’t think too highly of ourselves.
- We have something beautiful to look forward to. The way the Bible talks about heaven, it is hard to believe we have such a hard time remembering to keep our focus on that heavenly shore. Keeping our hearts focused on doing the will of God for the time that we’re given to do it, makes SO much sense in light of the awesome-beautiful eternity waiting for those who belong to the Lord.
Although death came about after the Fall and was not a part of the initial plan of God’s creation, in His glorious goodness, there are so many redemptive purposes in death. It is amazing that something so hard and heart-wrenching can also be a beautiful gift.
We’ve all seen Bucket List-type movies or heard stories about the things that people decide matter to them, the things they decide they want to do with their lives when they find out they don’t have much time left. It changes their perspective completely. They start valuing their family and friends over their work like never before, they value joy, and choosing joy, even in hard moments. They begin to value enjoying life and the experiences that are possible here with very little regard for fear.
And the important truth that we need to cling to? Each of us is a flower that sprouts today and withers tomorrow. We all have a terminal disease, we just have a little less knowledge of when it will take its toll.
Friends, you and I are among those whose days are numbered.
Remember that the best is yet to come — and live like you believe it.
xCC
Oct 11, 2013 | 31 Days, The Good Word
Hi there! This post is part of a 31-Day writing adventure I’m embarking on. I’d love for you to join me and read along. You can find the introduction to the series, and a “Table of Contents” as each day goes live, right here. Thanks so much for dropping in!
How much time would you say you’ve spent thinking about what you were created to do? Do you believe you were created with a purpose — that there are actually specific things that only you can accomplish with your time on the Earth?
God creates things on purpose and does things on purpose. This verse is a good example of that truth:
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. {Isaiah 55:10-11}
Observe that the rain and snow are purposefully sent to water the Earth, the seeds are purposefully in existence for the sower (i.e., farmer) and the existence of those seeds makes the possibility of food sprouting from those seeds planted in the Earth a reality — which results in bread for the eater — which lends itself towards the final goal of sustaining life on Earth.
God’s word is also filled with layers of purpose. And here He explains that He sends His word on purpose — perhaps you are reading these very words on this very page as a part of His purpose (I wouldn’t hesitate, really, to remove the perhaps from that statement).
So if the seeds are on purpose, the seasons are on purpose, the day and the night and the cold and the heat, what about you? The carefully crafted man, with life breathed into you from the very lungs of God. The only part of His creation He chose to make in His own image.
Paul explained purpose to the Ephesians this way:
For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. {Eph. 2:10}
In high school, my BFF and I spent many an hour of our days together entertaining people. We loved to joke and to laugh, to reenact skits we’d seen on Saturday Night Live and to come up with our own ideas for making people smile, and for creating inspiration.
Today, I still love the opportunity to stand up in front of a group of people and speak (I know that’s kind of weird, but yes, I enjoy {love} public speaking) and I love making people laugh when I have a microphone and half an opportunity. I write because I love to connect with people — I try to infuse humor here and there, but am also careful with it, (perhaps more than I need to be?). I want to entertain, but the deeper purpose for me is to educate and to inspire.
My friend went on to do Improv for a number of years, and even met her husband because of their mutual love for Improv. She has been hard at work creating beauty, most recently, by creating documentaries, which serve the purpose of educating and entertaining. She has always had the gift of vision, of gathering people around a common goal, and, like her (wonderful) Art-Teacher-Mom she seems to constantly create beauty with her life.
So here’s where things get really interesting for those of you trying to find yourself. There is something to be said for aptitude tests and career counseling — they can absolutely help you recognize the strengths and abilities with which you were created. In addition, there’s something to be said for going to the One who created you to find out what your purpose is all about.
If you belong to Christ, if you believe that He was who He said He was and is He Who says He is, then you died to yourself — the old man who you were before you found Him — and those redeeming qualities can begin to shine brighter and brighter.
For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. {Col. 3:3}
It’s so unexpected, but in His glorious goodness, instead of a constant inward focus, there is so much of your “self” to find by looking to the One who created you.
Your life is hidden in Him. His purposes for you are kept secret and safe in Him, where the enemy of your soul cannot fully see them and therefore attempt to thwart them. Like a map to a treasure that a person memorizes and then burns so that no one else will find it, the map to the life you were created to live is in the heart of God.
Yet another paradox finds us as we look for goodness: You lose yourself in all-out-seeking Him, and there you’ll find the self you’re looking for.
xCC
Oct 10, 2013 | In the Name of Love
Hey guys and gals — I’m interrupting the regularly scheduled 31Days posts (but not skipping a day — I will post again tomorrow!) just to share a bit about how we do health care. I started a post about this topic in February of this year… yes… but finally decided, with a nudge from the legislation of el gobierno, Okay, I’m getting too many questions NOT to write this post. (Otherwise I’ll be answering the same questions over and over, right?)
So with no more than eight months’ ado, here’s the skinny on how we do Health Care:
We are a part of a Christian Health Care sharing ministry called Samaritan’s Ministries International. {Not affiliated with Samaritan’s Purse or Samaritan’s Feet…} Their system is pretty simple and we love it, because it feels like we are a part of the body of believers in a great, tangible way.
{Image from a card I received from a fellow SMI member when my Dad died. Source.}
HOW IT WORKS
Each month, SMI sends a newsletter with the name of a person who has had a health care issue, explains the issue (not in great detail – that might be weird) and sends their address. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to pray for that person, and send your ministry “share” (your check) directly to that member who has a need. Our share is $370 per month — and (bonus for us) this amount does not change regardless of the number of children you have.
You send your share to a fellow member 11 months a year, and directly to the SMI offices to cover administrative costs 1 month a year.
So, for example, the month I started writing this post we were sending our check to a couple in Asheville — the husband recently had surgery for prostrate cancer. And when I submitted the doctor’s bills for the Belle’s pregnancy and delivery, we began receiving checks from other members with notes of encouragement and so on, to cover our bills.
WHEN YOU GET SICK
When you have some sort of health-related issue, you simply pay the bill yourself (or wait, if needs be), submit the need to SMI, and then “reimburse yourself.” Or, if you’d rather, you can wait until the funds come in from your SMI submission, and then pay the bills. {Just keep in mind sometimes you get a nice discount for prompt payment, which is kind of better for everybody, if you can swing it. But sometimes it’s good to wait longer — it seems like discounts are sometimes easier to negotiate when you’ve taken your time about paying a bill. Hard to decide what to do sometimes! SMI folks can help if you’re in a conundrum.}
MAKING A CLAIM
In SMI speak, Making a Claim is called Submitting (and Publishing) a Need. (An eligible need is “published” when it is sent to other members of SMI so that they send their gifts to cover your need.) Needs are only publishable if they are:
1) Over $300 (up to $250,000)
2) Not needs that you had before you became a member of SMI.
Because SMI is less expensive than most traditional health care options, you do have to budget for the fact that a routine doctor’s visit will not be covered, unless it’s more than $300. (But what doctor are you visiting whose routine visits are more than $300??)
But because SMI is not Health Insurance, you are considered self-pay and usually receive a very significant discount because of that. (i.e., the Belle’s $128 baby check-ups are often reduced to $58. Which to me indicates something is wrong with the health care system in general but never you mind.)
DISCOUNTS
In many cases, you are able to negotiate discounts on health care costs. For example, by offering to go ahead and pay three different bills related to my pregnancy with the Belle, the company I needed to pay for the lab tests (or whatever) was willing to knock something to the tune of $600 off the total amount owed. When I submitted those bills to SMI, and indicated that I received that discount I negotiated, the $300 deductible was reduced to nothing. Better explained:
If you are able to negotiate a discount off your bill, that amount will come off the standard initial $300 deductible, and you’ll just pay the remaining amount you owe. If you negotiate a $50 discount, you’ll just pay $250 out of pocket and the remaining amount will be published by SMI.
I ended up paying about $0 for my pregnancy and delivery with the Belle.
IF THERE ARE MORE NEEDS THAN SHARES
On months where the total amount of needs being submitted is higher than the number of shares scheduled to be sent, the needs are prorated to cover as much as possible across the board. For example, SMI might only be able to publish 90% of the amount of your need. Members are then encouraged to send an additional amount if they are able to. You might be able to negotiate additional discounts if you haven’t paid your bill yet. One way or another (Keep Calm and Trust God) it generally works out. And if/when people do make additional gifts to cover pro-rated needs, SMI will touch base to see what happened and if you need additional funds.
PRACTICAL OUTWORKINGS
In March of this year, my Dad, who had not been an SMI member for very long, suddenly had a heart attack, spent a week in the hospital in the Cardiac ICU, and then I saw him for the last time I’d see him this side of heaven and he was gone.
About $140,000 worth of medical bills were left behind.
Nearly $17,000 was knocked off his main hospital bill because he was an organ donor, which was awesome. (And guys, please consider being an organ donor. It blesses me to know that a woman with three grandchildren received a kidney transplant when my Dad died — something positive out of something so hard.)
But, for you non-mathematicians out there, we still owed… 100,000 + 3700 + 4,000… um, a LOT.
When the bills came in, I gathered them up, filled out the necessary paperwork (which by the way is impressively little) and submitted the need to SMI.
Needs are usually published around 30 – 60 days after their submission, and it took me a while to get everything together (the hospital actually took a long time to send the main bill???). So, in September of this year, my Dad’s need was published and hundreds of checks began to arrive in our mailbox in the days that followed. Many of them complete with beautiful cards, prayers and notes of encouragement and Scriptures — and WOW did it mean a lot to me.
The knowledge that so many people had prayed for my family was very powerful, very meaningful. The checks have been deposited to the Estate’s bank account, and I will be paying the bills in the days ahead.
Because the need was such a large amount, even though September was a month where they needed to prorate needs, SMI decided to divide my Dad’s need up and publish it over two months to make sure we got the full amount. Which was HUGE. And just blessed my soul.
To me, it is absolutely evidence of the body of Christ in action.
Every time I called SMI to get their help in the process of submitting needs after my Dad’s death, someone ended the conversation by asking if they could pray for me. EVERY time. It was such a gift, and though it often brought me to tears, it often overwhelmed me with the knowledge that the Lord was with me through that very challenging time.
FIND OUT MORE:
This is by no means a comprehensive explanation of SMI. You’re welcome to ask questions in the comments but I would love it if you would first visit their website and especially check out their detailed FAQ page.
Here’s my little Pros & Cons breakdown:
The Pros:
- It is not as expensive as health insurance, and we love the “vision” of Christians sharing with one another as they have need.
- They cover almost any medical needs, except for ones that existed before a person became a member with SMI. If there are large needs that existed before the person became a member, they will often still send out “Special Prayer Needs” and ask members to give something if they would like to and are able to help.
- As previously explained, the first $300 of any need is to be covered by the member, so if you have a $75 doctor visit, you’ll be paying that out of pocket. But, if you submit a need over $300 and you’re able to negotiate a discount, the discount you negotiate will reduce the deductible. (And when you explain to a health care provider that you are self-pay, they often have a discount — even $75 bills have been reduced for me just because I’ve asked about this.) Since we negotiated multiple deductions for my pregnancy and delivery, we haven’t had to pay anything.
- They give you a monthly prayer guide, so you are praying for other SMI members with medical issues around the world each day. It is a beautiful connection in the body.
The Cons:
- It can sometimes take time for the need to be submitted and for you to begin receiving shares. So this could either affect your cashflow or you could have a special savings account just for medical expenses… or you could use a credit card if you willing. Or you can just wait to pay the bills… we have had some of our bills reduced just because we took our time about paying them!
- Not having coverage for smaller doctor’s visits can be a bummer if finances are tight — but budgeting for this when possible should make that okay.
- It is probably easier to pull out an insurance card than to have to keep track of shares and submit medical bills. (But remember — convenience often comes at a price and I think our country is feeling that price right now. )
- If there are more needs than shares in a particular month, your need might be “pro-rated” and only be covered 80-90%. In this case, they often encourage people to give a little extra to help cover things.
MY PERSONAL OPINION
Overall, we have been EXTREMELY happy with SMI. It is perhaps a little less “convenient” than health insurance, but since it seems like the health insurance system is a mess that’s only getting worse, and we are very happy to be doing it this way – probably saving a lot of money, and participating in a church-minded way of bearing one another’s burdens as we are encouraged in Scripture.
You can check out their website at www.samaritanministries.org to find out more about how they work. And if you do sign up, please let them know Caroline Collie referred you — one of our monthly shares will be discounted as a result, and since I spent a gabillion hours trying to write all this in a blog post, that would be awesome!
xCC
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