I sat in the dealership with my hands crossed over the purse in my lap, willing myself not to burst into tears.
It was time to sell the boat.
When my Dad passed away, my first inheritance was a messy and complicated estate – mountains of work to do with no definitive records. It was nothing short of arduous.
He bought a boat when we moved back to North Carolina – so excited to take his first grandchild out on the river, so looking forward to taking the water-route down to the ocean for the weekend.
It wasn’t a particularly special vessel – but it represented all these hopes and moments cut short, and all the things that weren’t going to be, because he was gone.
I crossed my legs the other way, and a song came on the radio, and I knew I had to get out of there as quickly as I could.
Did you know Bono wrote a song about his Dad after he died
Being a U2 fan, I knew it well. Bono crooned over the radio:
“Listen to me now… I need to let you know…
You don’t have to go it alone….
And it’s you when I look in the mirror,
And it’s you when I don’t pick up the phone…
Sometimes you can’t make it, on your own.”
Those lyrics wouldn’t have meant anything to the sales guy standing at the door, or the guy behind the desk – but they spoke to my soul.
That song on the radio, at that moment was a whisper from my Father in heaven: I see you.
Sometimes I think life gets so challenging, so frustrating, so hard we just need to be reminded God sees us.
He really sees. And He really cares.
When Hagar ran away from Sarah, so rejected and filled with despair, her situation seemed completely hopeless. But God cared so much He sent an Angel to give her the courage to carry on.
He let her know she was seen, and He let her know He had a plan.
If we can quiet our hearts a little, in our hardest places we can hear God’s whisper: You are seen, and I have a plan.
He may not tell us all that He has in mind. He may not tell us how He is going to bring about His promises. But He invites us to trust Him, to know that He is sovereign and good.
In the years that followed, I continued the journey of settling my Dad’s estate, and learned more about my inheritance in the kingdom of God, and the love of my Heavenly Father, than I ever could’ve imagined He would teach me in those hard days.
What once felt like such a heavy, heavy burden, I look back on as a treasure, a gift.
Let’s keep carrying our burdens to Jesus, friends. Let’s accept that invitation we talked about to walk freely and lightly, knowing we are seen, and He has a plan.
At the moment it may seem so hard, and so heavy. But darling friend, you are seen. God is always in the business of taking suffering and sorrow, and transforming them into deep peace and great joy.
Keep walking with Him.
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