For When You’re So Offended Your BFF Offers to Throw Toilet Paper

Have you ever read a book and thought… Wait! Is this book reading me?

Jesus said, “It is impossible that no offenses may come.”

I sure do wish that wasn’t true.

But a few years ago, I got super offended about something. I did precisely what most of us ladies do: I called my BFF to go on and on about how offended I was. 

She listened and had tons of compassion and sympathy. And then said the exact thing I needed to hear most. 

She offered to help me toilet paper a house. 

She afterwards suggested we could write Bible verses on the toilet paper. 

I was blessed by her ability to make me laugh… but my heart was still swirling mad. 

The Hero Hubs and I talked about it. He was offended, too. 

I admitted I didn’t think I was going to be able to just play “fine” and not be honest about how I felt when the time came for a conversation. I knew I was going to have to walk out those terribly inconvenient verses that instruct us: 

When your brother has offended you, go to him… {Matthew 18:15…} 

So we did what most offended people probably do. We talked for a while about why we were offended. And then we found something entertaining to watch and tried to forget about it. 

But when bedtime came and I lay down and felt my heart still beating faster than I liked, I finally decided I needed some advice that a human couldn’t give me. 

So? I opened Proverbs. And in chapter 15, this greeted me: 

A soft answer turns away wrath,

But a harsh word stirs up anger. {that’s verse ONE people!} 

Great. So when I am honest and truthful with the “offender” I have to be gentle and not harsh. 

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life,

But perverseness in it breaks the spirit. {v.4} 

Great. More about being wholesome and kind with my word choices. Grrrr. 

The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge,

But the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness. {v.14} 

Right. So … exactly like my husband said two minutes ago, I need to seek to understand. Not just to be understood. 

This is getting more inconvenient by the minute, right? 

The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord,

But the words of the pure are pleasant. {v. 26}

Argh! I need to repent for what’s been in my mind and heart about this situation! And for the words I said aloud to the hubs! Yikes! 

There were more that spoke to me, but here’s the kicker: 

The heart of the righteous studies how to answer,

But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil. {v. 28} 

{Can I pretend I didn’t read this and just go pour forth whatever comes out of my mouth first?} 

Basically, what this situation drew out of me was how quick-tempered I was being. How quick to be frustrated and offended and certain of my position and my right and their wrong and the list goes on… 

And this chapter of Proverbs just started reading my mail. The Word was reading me. Speaking to my heart. Speaking to my exact situation. 

It was one whisper after another, and if I was willing to listen, these whispers could calm the storm inside my own soul. 

Why did I spend so much time formulating my own ideas before eventually consulting the God with Whom Wisdom dwells? 

Let me tell you one more truth. I’ve been offended before. 

And I’ve handled it really badly before. Apologies were made and all is well but still there is regret in my soul that I let my tongue run wild and unchecked — pouring forth unnecessary foolishness. 

It is easy to find people to take our side and tell us what we want to hear! But search hard — you need the people who will tell you the truth! 

Here’s what I’ve learned. When you’re sideswiped by an offense, don’t rush to text that friend that will justify the offense for you. Don’t let that blood-boiling feeling force you to say things you’ll wish you hadn’t said later. Even to your spouse. 

When you need to know how to handle anything life throws your way, this incredible, living, life-breathing Word is the place to find it. Jump into the Proverbs and be amazed when something you’ve read a dozen times already suddenly speaks to exactly what you’re going through. The Word can truly start reading you. 

And? It’ll save you a lot of toilet paper.