The past couple of days have perhaps been quite a bit rougher than any other 7th or 8th of October I’ve faced in my few decades on Planet Earth. Our eight-year-old has been in the hospital for 38 days, and golly pete, I have experienced a whole new “thing” — I had no idea what it would feel like to have a kid sick with much more than a passing virus that takes them down for a couple of days. Just these two days have been a mix of exhilaration and exhaustion as we’ve watched him grow stronger and recover, but also we’ve watched as we struggle to figure out his medications and help him keep them down and get the sleep he needs… and it feels like there are wins and losses, and my heart is on a roller coaster.

Early on, certainly as the result of the prayers of many people, I had this important insight that has steadied my gaze on this journey with our sweet little Blake. I can remember the moment when it hit me and I clarified the thought in my mind, while walking the halls of the hospital and speaking with a friend on the phone. Our boy was in a medically induced coma in the Pediatric ICU upstairs, and I was downstairs walking and breathing and talking and praying and hoping when it hit me.

“I can’t put my hope in the outcome of this situation. I can’t put my hope in Blake being okay. I have to put my hope in the goodness of God — that somehow He can make this good no matter what.”

Back when we didn’t know whether our boy would wake up and still be some semblance of the child we rushed to the ER on September 1st, I was trying to clarify for the sake of my own heart exactly what I was going to put my hope in.

Yes, we pray like crazy for the outcome we long for. 

But I also had to get to this excruciatingly painful place in my own soul where I was willing to say, “Lord, I’m yours no matter what. I don’t have anywhere else to go. No one else is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”

Those prayers often ended with something like, “Lord, I trust You. But please, please heal my boy.”

I don’t know why, but I had to come to a place where I could say and mean it — Lord, I really do love you and I will follow you no matter what. 

I’m so grateful God has answered my prayers and the prayers of so many others. But I know that I cannot put my trust in things always happening the way *I want* — because that is not life, and that is not faith. Instead, I think the challenge is to have these two different things going on at the same time: we ask, and ask, and ask again for exactly what we want, but then we also lift our hands to a God that is wiser than we are and say, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Your will be done.” 

Oh how hard it is to live — palms up — willing to give what He takes and take what He gives, as Mother Teresa put it!

A few weeks later, I read these words in my devotional (a perfectly timed gift from a friend during this trial!) and I immediately began scribbling them down to remember:

“It really is true, that peace in times of trouble is not found in figuring out your life, but in worship of the One who has everything figured out already.” {New Morning Mercies, Paul David Tripp, Oct. 3rd}

So this is the tricksy thing about hope: if we place all our hope in an outcome, we are likely to be disappointed. If our hope is in getting that job promotion, or this relationship not falling apart, or yes, even in not losing this loved one, we are setting ourselves up for heartache. Because even if you get that job promotion, it will not satisfy you forever. And our earthly relationships, as beautiful as they can be are not eternal. And we cannot have each other forever this side of heaven.

So I keep circling back to this one passage that is enough:

“You will keep him in perfect peace, 
whose mind is stayed on You, 
because he trusts in You.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.”
{Is. 26:3-4}

Hope in God is the hope that does not disappoint. We trust His character — we trust Him to weave things together for good. We trust Him regardless of the outcome — because He is in the business of redemption, of creating beauty from ashes, of taking something that seems like it cannot possibly be anything other than horrible and somehow turning it into something gloriously beautiful. 

We have witnessed that these last 38 days.

So hope, yes, hope, hope and hope some more. Keep hoping to see the goodness of an unfailing, unfaltering Father who loves you to pieces and has incredible plans for you. With Him at the Center, you will always get more than you could ever hope for.



I hope you’re encouraged today, friend. If you’re visiting this site for the first time, I’d love to welcome you to subscribe here for a weekly dose of encouragement.

Update on Blake: 

Blake is getting stronger every day! He is now completely tube-free — no IVs, NG tubes… just a big band-aid on the back of his head from a pressure wound that is still healing. He is relearning to walk and the therapists are so pleased with his progress. He is still struggling under the weight of a brain injury and lots of medications (and we do not know what is what and that is hard) but we do know that he has come very far! He can write his name, count in Spanish, and smile to light up a room in a heartbeat. We are praying for his continued head-to-toe healing, and specifically for him to regain strength in his left arm, and continue making progress, including the management on the medications that are a necessity for him right now.

So many of you have asked how you can help, and now that we have a grasp on what this looks like for us in terms of finance, we have set up a gofundme page as a fundraiser. Even if you can’t give, please visit it to enjoy the beautiful video Mark created to give you a better glimpse of this journey. Thank you for your prayers. Our hope is in the God who has all this in His hands!!!

 You can also follow With Love, From Here on Facebook for daily updates. 


Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for supporting With Love!