As he held onto a little clicker, I watched the flashing lights and I could see from across the room that he was completely missing what was right in front of him. We thought our sweet boy, roughly eight weeks post major brain aneurism, was having trouble seeing, and this fun little test at the optometrist’s office was confirming it right in front of me.
Outside this weekend with his Daddy in the backyard, I found him in tears because he’d walked into the little toddler basketball hoop he and his brother used to play with. He just plain didn’t see it.
He was skipping the first few words on a page. Missing the food on the left side of his plate. Turning his head to try to see things at a distance. The brain is a marvelously miraculous but incredibly funny thing. It will somehow fill in the gaps until you truly don’t know what you’re missing.
Blake’s blind spots have meant he can’t see the turtle walking by out the window, only six feet away. They’ve also meant he has walked into a few door frames. And every time, he is startled and surprised: he still really doesn’t know he’s missing anything.
His blind spots have made me start wondering what blind spots I might have in my own life. Yeah, I think I still have 20/20 vision, but how well is my soul seeing?
Am I aware of the pride I struggle with — because all of us humans have pride that shows up in different ways? It’s at the root of every sin and around the corner at every turn. Because we think we know better, right? What pride hiding in my blind spot?
And…What else might be there? Am I allowing fear to direct my steps instead of faith? Am I going to shadow this second son of mine into his twenties, or gradually, carefully learn to let go again because I trust that God brought him through this and His plan is better than mine?
I imagine sometimes we have to walk into our own walls to realize we are missing something. When we bump into something that hurts or challenges us, we have an opportunity to realize we need to tilt our head a different way, maybe even pause and squint, and see something we’ve been missing. What could God be showing us?
What don’t we realize about us… or Him… that we really need to know?
Prayer is a beautiful place for blind spots to become places where we see more clearly. Digging deep into Scripture and reflecting on what God might want to say to you? Might turn a blind spot into a spot where you’re seeing in 8K — the superior quality, see the speck on the speck kind of resolution we probably need to help us realize 1) how much we don’t see and how sinful we truly are and 2) how gloriously full-color incredibly beautiful God’s Love is for you and me anyway.
One beautiful technicolor promise of God is that the Truth brings freedom—indeed Jesus said Truth could quite literally set you free. So I’d love to encourage you today to fearlessly press forward in faith and ask, “What blind spot would you like me to see today, Lord?”
I imagine having Him gently and graciously letting you see what you’re missing will be so much better than walking straight into the little basketball hoop in your backyard.
I hope you’re encouraged today, friend. If you’re new to this little corner of the web (or not) I’d love to welcome you to subscribe here for a weekly dose of encouragement.
The Latest on Blake
We are AMAZED at how well Blake is doing! His left arm and hand are constantly improving, closer and closer to seeming like there was never an issue! He is walking without assistance, running and even jumping with so little struggle. Taking stairs going up like a champ, and improving daily on the strength to come down without much concern. His short term memory is an area of concern we continue to pray for: it is hard for him to remember he has just said something or done something, and I think that leaves us all frustrated at time. We are doing best to encourage and strengthen this ‘muscle’ in different ways, and we are seeing encouraging improvement.
Blake will have what will, we pray, be the final procedure related to this AVM for a very long time — perhaps ever — soon. On November 8th, he’ll have a CTA scan, follow by an angiogram, and — only if necessary — that will be followed by Gamma Knife Radiation treatment. We pray that last step will not be necessary, and also give thanks that, either way, at the end of the day he will NOT be spending another night in the hospital but will get to come home to us when the procedures are all through.
We have confirmed our concerns about Blake’s vision with an optometrist and he is not seeing, in fact very much missing, so much in his left field of vision. We pray that as his brain continues to heal and all swelling reduces this will no longer be an issue, but we are also going to follow up with a neuro-opthalmologist to find out what steps might be necessary to help this specific part of Blake’s recovery.
And last piece of news, but by far the most amazing — after repeatedly being told we were not likely to be eligible for Medicaid, Blake has been assigned Medicaid coverage effective September 1st — meaning his medical bills are completely covered. We are flabbergasted, and just so extremely grateful. God has provided for our family in every way possible and worked things together for good in ways we could never have foreseen when everything was just so hard and scary on the first of September! We have contacted GoFundMe to begin sending refunds to the generous friends who wanted to bless us in this trial, and have been overwhelmed with friends telling us not to refund them, knowing Mark was not working and we have expenses ahead as the therapy and recovery process continues.
We plan to Raise a Hallelujah in downtown Washington to celebrate what God has done on November 23rd and would love to welcome you to join us. Details to follow… Thank you for your prayers, your love, your support and encouragement… God is worthy of more Hallelujahs than we could ever give, and we are so grateful.