I Look at Me

{Still no baby action! Perhaps the food and comfort are just too good on the inside!}

See this HH-classic photo right here? It speaks to me.

Not because I feel like I’m standing on one leg balancing a lot of weight, but because I think I sometimes make extra efforts to look at who I am the wrong way, in light of who I think I should be for everybody else’s sake.

Do you remember the scene in Runaway Bride where Julia Roberts’ character {Maggie Carpenter} finally figures out what kind of eggs she likes? In each of her past relationships, she chose to like whichever eggs her boyfriend liked, to become who the person on the other side of the relationship might want her to be. Whether it involved temporary tattoos or sports fanaticism, she was a chameleon in her own right — anybody’s perfect girl, except her own.

After she broke things off with Ike Graham {Richard Gere}, she spent some time figuring herself out and realised she only liked Eggs Benedict. She hated any other kind of eggs. She realised that she hated big weddings with everyone staring, and that when she rode off into the sunset on her wedding day, she wanted her own horse. She took a moment to look at herself, and it changed her perspectively completely.

I think a lot of us, especially us gals, but menfolk as well, can be Maggie Carpenters. We try to be someone we’re not for the sake of everyone else, and at the expense of being who we were created to be. We may not like this or that, but we’ll learn for the sake of relationship. We’ll press through things we honestly can’t stand — without being honest that we can’t stand them — to make others happy.

I’m not speaking about recognising the parts of yourself that are the result of sin and the fall. It is good to let go of wrong patterns and selfish behaviour. But there are other parts of who you were created to be that don’t really need changing. It’s okay if you don’t like eggs. It’s okay if you snort when you laugh. It’s not okay to flip the bird at strangers in traffic. Do you get the idea?

I think we sometimes don’t take the time to think about the things we enjoy — to make those things which bring us life a priority in our lives. To do this might involve taking the time to make a list of likes and dislikes, as Donald Miller explains it well. It could involve a little soul-searching and a long walk or two. It will probably involve shutting off the external voices telling you what to do or read or watch or be for a bit, for you to get to the bottom of you, and begin asking questions about who you are and who you were created to be, and what living that story out may or may not look like.

Should we compromise for the sake of relationship — going on a dreaded camping trip or sitting through a movie we’re not really interested in seeing? Definitely, sometimes. But should we pretend we love doing things we actually hate, instead of speaking up and looking for healthy compromises that will involve each party in the relationship enjoying life? I think not.

Healthy introspection will lead to recognition of the important things that matter to us. Some of the things that matter are people, and we should be willing to work to keep our relationships with others on a good track. Other things that matter to us matter because they are a part of who we were created to be — the story we were created to live out. If we don’t give attention to living our lives as who we were created to be (instead of who we think others might like for us to be) no one will be happy at the end of the day.

So look past freckles and wrinkles and hair styles and quirks the next time you look in the mirror. The you you were created to be is well below the surface…but deserves the chance to shine.

xCC