The night we arrived in Jeffrey’s Bay Mark and Abel had a training to host at the local YWAM base. I decided to stay home with Asher after the busy day of travelling. He had a good bath (since he’d pooped on himself, and me, earlier that day) and he was dressed in the jammies my Mom gave him that have the dogs on them…the ones I love sooo much even though they’re getting a little tight.
Do you need a pajama reminder so you can picture it for yourself? It’s a Bear with curls reminder, too!
Awesome pajamas.
When I realised we still had a half hour to bed time, we walked out onto the balcony and the Bear sat in my lap and we looked up at the bright bright stars and pointed at an occasional airplane flying by. Special moment!! I recited a little poem for him from the Tiny Bear Bible Rory and Sarah gave him. (Yes, I’ve read it enough times to memorize it, easily.)
In the beginning, before time began,
God was right there and he had a great plan.
He flung stars into space, He painted the sky
He lit up the sun, He taught birds how to fly.
But the crown of creation, He saved for the end
He made Adam and Eve and became their best friend.
As I finished, I pointed up at the stars and wished I could better communicate to my twenty-month-old something about the God who created the stars we were looking up at. I think I said something like, “Asher, God created all those stars up there, every one. And He’s the God who created you and loves you very much. You need to remember this, Asher!â€
As I sat there, with this tiny boy who still fits in my arms and my lap, I just had this sudden epiphany (well it somehow felt like an epiphany even though it has come to mind at other times): Gosh, he’s really not going to be tiny and fit in my arms forever! And I was teary-eyed, okay I’ll be honest, more than a little tear-eyed, to consider the fact that he is going to grow up and not always going to listen to what we say — he is going to make his own choices about what he believes and how he chooses to live his life. There might be a day when he doesn’t believe in the God who created the stars and the air we breathe and his precious soul, but we pray every night as we put him to bed that he will indeed know and love the God we serve — and we believe those prayers will become a reality! But still, the letting go is a heart-sore thought.
Isn’t it amazing that the Lord lets go of us — He creates us and then lets go and lets us choose how to live our lives, and whether or not we’ll love Him? If I’m really honest, I think if I had a choice, I might decide to keep this little one small enough to always stay in my arms, because I feel like I could always help him make good choices, and keep him safe, and make sure he knows the God who flung all those stars up there.
Sure gives me a lot to think about.
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Hey there!
I found you and your blog is awesome! So glad we were able to connect over a bad batch of peanut butter bon bons [still haven’t tried them yet]. Hope you make it to your next destination safely!
Brittany
*sniff* You’re making ME teary-eyed. I will tell you, though… if you persist in your teaching and living, it is very very very very likely that your little bear will come to know the God of creation. I’ve had many conversations with dear Ben, about God and the Bible and our lives and choices etc. He had told me quite a few times that the Holy Spirit lived in his heart, but being as how he is only 5 years old, I wasn’t quite ready to jump for joy quite yet. However, last week we had a wonderful time at church together. He sang in the choir with me (which has never happened before- we were the only two people in my family that were there, and I was afraid to leave him to his own devices in the pew), took “notes” on the sermon in his little notebook, asked some very pertinent questions during a missions presentation about Haiti, and then insisted that we go down the isle during the alter call at the end. He spoke to several different people that night, including our pastor, and we all prayed together. It was concluded that yes, as much as a 5 year old can understand, he was indeed quite sincere about his belief in his salvation- he even quoted scripture at the pastor- ha! As a mom, I really do think that he has a relationship with Jesus Christ. I’ve caught him praying of his own accord, and he often is troubled by other people’s lack of faith in God. I just hope that now we can help him grow in his faith, and that we can help him remember the day that he made that decision official. But oh, it’s a scary thing to wonder if your child will ever come to the place where they claim your faith as their own. AND if they will continue to walk in that faith as they grow older, or if they will go through an extended time of sifting. I was 6 when I first really understood what Christ did for us. I’ve certainly learned a lot since then, but I can guarantee you that at that time in my life- even at age 6- the Holy Spirit came to reside with me and guide me. I remember that as the beginning, even though I had to re-dedicate myself to being poured out for God once I became an adult. He’s been with me the entire time, even when I was goofing off. The point is, it’s scary, but when your child makes the decision of their own free will, it’s worth it.
That is so sweet.
Hi Caroline! Hope you guys are doing well in all your traveling! I think we are going to miss each other 🙁 My husband and I leave for the Drakensberg tomorrow around noon. Where will you be in Jburg?
We will have to meet up someday… I think we are moving to the Cape in the next 6 months 🙂 Funny question… but if you know of any cute places for a decent price available in the area let us know 🙂 His company is in Somerset West…just though I’d throw that out there 🙂 Be blessed this weekend 🙂
That’s a bummer, Charissa, but exciting that you might be moving to the Cape! I will keep my eyes open for you. Are you looking for a furnished or unfurnished place? We are leaving Joburg in the morning so it does indeed seem we’ll miss each other. Hopefully next time! 🙂 We were just in the Drakensberg — enjoy!!