Being a parent has taught me a lot. Already. Including how to do a lot of things with one hand, while holding the baby with the other. I think part of the reason I’ve had to learn this is because so many folks spoiled Asher in America, by holding him all the time. I’ve included pictures of said miscreants with this post. They can be very dangerous, so TAKE CAUTION when letting them near your baby. Your baby might return to you SPOILED.

At any rate, I have some new skills to be proud of. So in honour of the excitement of developing my ambidextrous abilities, and my biceps… along with the malefactor mugshots, here’s the top ten best things I’ve learned to do with the baby in tow.

10. Tie — Unload the dishwasher. Strain and puree baby food. These are very difficult with twenty-some pounds on your hip, people!

9. Of course, you have to learn this one: mix and heat baby cereal, fruit and veggies for baby’s dinner. AND Feed the baby with one hand while holding him, and both his arms still with the other. (We haven’t found a high chair we like yet.)

8. Apply mascara.  Careful with that one!

7. Eat my dinner. Lunch. Breakfast… you get the idea.

6. Send a text message.

5. Push the stroller with one hand and carry groceries home with the other.

4. Blog, Facebook, and send emails. I can even drag and drop attachments!

3. Wash and dry my hands. (One at a time.)

2. Cook a spicy stir fry (and other meals) while keeping baby’s hands away from anything hot. [Folks, do not try this at home.]

1. Pull a plate off the shelf, toast a piece of bread, grab a butter knife, spread nutella over the toast AND enjoy some toast with nutella… all with the baby on my hip! Necessary skills!

The New Math I’ve learned:

2 weeks with South African grandparents + 6 weeks with American grandparents = 1 internationally spoiled baby!


Please note: This is obviously completely in jest! I am so glad the cuddlebear has gotten to meet his South African and his American family in the first six months of his life. Except for Uncle Vaughan!

If you would like to see more pics of our delightful time with family in South Africa and America, click these links:

South Africa, South Africa Part 2, America.