Jul 1, 2009 | Stories, The Good Word
Have I ever told you about the time I worked as a pawnbroker? God did so much in my life through my experience of working at a Pawn Shop  just inside the beltline in Raleigh, NC for a year before I left for Scotland. If you’re not familiar with what a Pawn Shop is, google it, or perhaps we’ll have a lesson about that another day.
In the meantime…you may have heard this expression before: “Keep Your Eye on the Cross.” On one especially fated day back at the pawn shop, God made this lesson incredibly real for me…seriously. Seriously.
See, someone pawned this ridiculously expensive white gold … or maybe platinum cross. It must’ve been 4 or 5 inches long and 3 or 4 inches wide — like, too big for me to close my hand around it. And it was COVERED, its entire length and width, with diamonds. Big, quality diamonds, and there was one really big diamond in the centre. Iced out, frosted bling bling. I could hardly believe the thing was real. But it was! And someone pawned it and didn’t come back to pick it up, so it was in the jewelry case for sale for ages. This was the kind of bling a baller would be so proud to sport he’d put his life in danger for it. Pricetag: $5,000. I’m not even kidding. Well, it was $10,000 but everything was always 50% off.
So, this one day, this guy comes in and wants to see the gold bracelets in the case where the cross is. I open up the case, and start showing him one after another. He’s trying them on, way different sizes, way different looks, way different prices, and I begin to think, “Hmm, champ…you’re either somehow female, or you just have no clue, or else you’re not really after a bracelet.” And in my mind, I heard the Lord say, “Keep your eye on the cross.” My first thought was, “Okay, Jesus, I know. Thank you for the cross” and then I realised the Lord was literally saying, “Keep your eye on that cross.” “Okay, Lord, okay.”
A moment later, I knocked over one of the watches in the case, and it fell out of the case onto the floor. I very carefully slid the case closed, leaned down to pick up the watch while keeping an eye on the case, and then continued helping this guy. When I put the watch back I double checked — yes, the bling bling cross is still there. Sweet. So two minutes later, this guy is still saying “Okay let me see this one…okay that one.” And I’m beginning to think he’s wasting my time. All of sudden I realise, “Holy cow, where is the cross!!!!!?????!!!!”
To this day, I have no idea how the guy got hold of it. I mean I was really paying attention carefully. I looked up at him, and then looked, and I could see he was holding it in his hand down by his side, but it was too big to be completely concealed. I looked at it, looked up at him, and seriously you guys, a boldness came over me like nothing I’ve ever experienced, and I said, “Give it back.” He looked at me, kind of uncomfortably, and then tried to play it off, and handed the cross over the counter to me. My heart was absolutely racing. I put the cross back into the case and locked it. He said he wanted to keep looking at bracelets, and I said, “No.” He left the store and my manager was rather perturbed he didn’t have the opportunity to call him in for attempted theft. I was thankful the Lord had prompted me to be mindful of that stinkin cross or I probably would’ve lost my job and owed my boss 5K!
Not just in a literal way, but also in a spiritual way, being mindful of the cross can give us a clearer perspective on what’s happening around us. When we think about Jesus’ sacrifice — coming down from heaven where He was equal with God to save us — we realise that, in comparison, no matter what we give up, we aren’t really sacrificing very much to follow Him. When the enemy tries to condemn us, or make us feel like because of our sin we are unworthy of a relationship with a holy God, we can point to the cross and remind him that our relationship with God is paid for.
And thanks to the Bling Bling Pawn Shop Cross that almost got stolen, I will have the message — Keep your eyes on the cross — etched in my heart for the rest of my days.
xCC
Jun 23, 2009 | Uncategorized
June 23rd marks the two year anniversary of my marriage to Mr. Mark Collie. The Lord has blessed me with His exceeding abundance in Mark and I am so thankful for him in my life. Although we were living in Scotland at the time, we were married two years ago in my hometown, back in Washington, North Carolina. The wedding was indeed a splendid event, and I am so thankful to our parents and many others who were a part of making it happen. My Mom survived, and now both her daughters are married! God is good!
One moment I look back on with extra thoughtfulness is the bridesmaids’ luncheon I enjoyed with my bridesmaids (and my delightful sister/maid of honour) the day before the wedding. The luncheon itself was wonderful, but there was one tiny hiccough that has been on my mind. Although it’s not a hard and fast rule — perhaps it is in the South? — it seems a lovely and delightful tradition that the bride makes a speech at this event, in thankfulness to the hosts, and of course to her bridesmaids. I did have gifts and thankfulness to pass along to my girls, but my words were a bit lacking. If the excuse that I had never previously attended a bridesmaids’ luncheon, or that I was preparing for the wedding from 3,500 miles away is not sufficient, well, I have no other.
At any rate, it is in my heart to take the opportunity now to say a few words to the girls without whom my life would be a completely different story — and not nearly as beautiful or sweet as it is. The world is so much a richer place because there is such a thing as friendship. I am grateful! Without further ado…
Shelley — My friend, I am so thankful for you. If it weren’t for the Lord putting you in my life, I might still be a double agent — confessing Christianity while walking in rubbish and darkness. Praise the Lord we met in Senora Powers’ Spanish class! You have always encouraged me toward the Lord, and so much because of you I began to truly seek Him and find Him. Our laughs and tears are so incredibly precious to me — from the time we forgot to pay our phone bill and had our service cut off to the time we wept that the cow your grandmother named after me died. Our story is too good to be fiction. I am thankful for you and looking forward to the pages ahead. SO much love.
Brittany — What a woman of the Lord you are. Your faith and the depth of your love for the Lord is incredibly inspiring. You are such a constant presence – a voice that I can count on. It never ceases to amaze me that we can be together after months and months — or longer — and it feels as if we’ve hardly been apart. I treasure your friendship, your ability to simply listen and be present, and your love for life and for laughter. You are a priceless one of a kind. I hope we can inspire a scarf night at the Durham Bulls again some day. In the meantime, please know I love you so much!
Heather — Now Mrs. Colley! I could not have survived my first year in Scotland without you. What would I have done? How the Lord blessed me, as I was so far away from home, to bring a little bit of home to me in you! Â I am so grateful we seized the day and had our adventures in Europe together before your departure. Although I hope I never leave my purse on a train in a foreign country again, I look forward to more adventures with you in the days ahead. You are such a voice of reason and peace and I am so thankful you were here as the Lord brought Mark and me together. Again, what would I have done without you, my ninja biscuit?! I love you!!!
Camden — If it weren’t for our friendship, I might be a terribly serious person. I am so thankful for the love of laughter that I learned from you. I want to continue to live in the days ahead as we did in days gone by — looking for a reason to smile, or giggle, and enjoying moment after moment unashamedly. I look forward to celebrating the incredible gentleman the Lord brings into your life — and I can’t wait to see how funny he is! The delightful (mis)adventures of our youth are framed in my heart always. My grassy C-Dawg Spartan Cheerleader, it’s okay I’m a limo driver… call me! I love you. Buh-bye.
Julie — My word, my dear, what a gem you are! Â I am overjoyed that you came all the way from South Africa to be a part of this special time in my life. Your friendship is an incredible blessing — I honestly don’t know how I would’ve made it through those first few days in Edinburgh without you. A friend who is willing to stay with you in a freezing cold flat and sleep cuddled up to the kettle — that is a friend indeed! Your heart and passion for following Jesus is so inspiring. You challenge me in my walk with the Lord, and have encouraged me to trust the gifts God has put in me. I look more like Jesus because of you! I look forward to times ahead with you, in the country I’ve come to consider the most beautiful on earth — our beloved South Africa. I will rejoice to be there with you again soon. To Table Mountain and back…stax of love.
Amiee — As iron sharpens iron, so one friend sharpens another! Thank you for being such a Barnabas, and sharpener to me during our wonderful days together in Greenville. Thank you that you are still a friend and sharpener to me now! I hold on to the dream that we will see each other regularly years and decades from now, and send each other gifts from the nations where the Lord sends us. How amazing that the Lord has already begun to bring those dreams to pass! Praise God for you, sweet friend. I hope we will continue to dream together — big dreams of doing incredible things for the glory of our incredible God. You are so special and precious to me. LOVE YOU!
And last but not least,
Dodi — my sister in blood and in Christ. I am so thankful the Lord chose us to be knit together in family for all of our days. Even if you say I’m adopted! 😉 You are such a beautiful person, inside and out, and your service to the Lord is such an inspiration to me. You took the Lord at His word and began to give up one thing after another to follow Him — and you set an example for me and for many others to follow. I trust the Lord’s word that when you seek Him first, He will add everything else to you — and I rejoice with you at seeing some of that come to pass just now! Thank you for rejoicing with me at this special time in my life. I am so thankful that we will continue to rejoice together, and even weep together, again and again for the rest of our days. You mean more to me than I can express. In His Blood and Ours, I love you always.
Well, blogreaders, thanks for giving me a moment to share those thoughts. Seize the opportunity to say how much people mean to you whenever you can — even if it’s the second time around!
Jun 12, 2009 | Scotland, South Africa, The Good Word, Top Ten Lists
After a good chat with a friend of mine who’s going through a hard time, I started thinking about some of the things I think the Lord might like to say to her, to speak to her heart in the place where she is right now. I thought it might be something a lot of other people need to hear, too, so I thought I’d share it.
I hope this is a Top Ten from the Heart of God…
10. You are so wonderful, so special, and so precious to Me. I knit you together in your mother’s womb, and there is no one else in the universe like you. (Psalm 139:13-14)
9. Before your life even began, I sent my one and only Son to die for you. I did this because I love you. Â (Ephesians 2:4&5)
8. I know sometimes it feels like I’m a million miles away. But I told you I would never leave you, and I meant it. Even when it feels like no one is with you, I Am. (Hebrews 13:5)
7. Even during this time when you’ve felt so far away, I’ve been with you. I’m always with you. (Matthew 28:20)
6. My darling, you are so beautiful, special and precious to Me. Â (Song of Solomon 1:15)
5. Even before you went away from Me, I forgave you. (Luke 23:34)
4. I don’t change, and My love for you will never change. (Hebrews 13:8)
3. You don’t have to do anything to earn My love. Please know that My grace is sufficient. In these moments when you are feeling so weak, My strength can be made perfect in you. (2 Cor. 12:9)
2. I miss you. I want to hear you speak again, and I want to see your face again — your voice is so sweet to Me, you face is so lovely to Me. (Song of Solomon 2:14)
1. No matter where you are, no matter how far away you feel, if you search for Me with your heart and soul, you’ll find Me. (Deut 4:29) I want to be found by you. If you look for Me, you’ll find Me. (Jeremiah 29:12-13)
Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens. Your faithfulness, stretches to the skies. Psalm 36:5
Jun 11, 2009 | Stories, The Good Word
When you’re talking to someone, and you are not very near each other, you have to shout in order to hear what each other is saying. The closer you get, the more softly you can speak, to the point that your mouth can be just by the person’s ear, and you can communicate what you want to say with nought but a whisper.
When I first began to walk with the Lord, I felt like I heard Him loud and clear. When I prayed about something, the answer was almost a shout — like He was making sure I knew He was there, He was helping me to learn to trust Him, helping me to learn to recognise His voice. As the years have gone by, however, it seems His voice has grown more quiet. This could be a discouragement, if I were not thoughtful about the Lord’s ways, and perhaps His motivation in drawing more quiet.
If someone is speaking to you quietly, you have to draw nearer to listen. As long as they’re shouting, you can stand at a good distance and still get the message. But as the voice of the Lord becomes a still, small voice, He invites you — as deep calls out to deep — to draw nearer and nearer, to listen. Â Perhaps the goal in this is that we can draw so very close to the Lord that our ears are upon His chest, and we are listening to the very beat of His heart.
What untold riches there are at the foot of the throne of Jesus! But perhaps even more treasures may abound, the closer you draw to the heart of God.
“…and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.
So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave…” Â 1 Kings 19: 11-13
Jun 6, 2009 | Stories, The Good Word
For the past few days, I have been sensing a feeling of uneasiness…like a bit of distance from the Lord that I didn’t understand. I was reminded of His word that says, “Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, That it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, That it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that He will not hear.” (Isaiah 59:1&2) As that came to mind, I continued to ask the Lord what it was that was making me feel like we were separated, and why He felt far away. (Be reminded, if the Lord feels far away, it’s normally you who moved.)
At first I didn’t get a sense of what the matter was, so I went on about my business. Then last night as I lay in bed, a memory came to mind from about five years ago. An incident that I won’t go into detail about happened, which left me feeling cheated, angry, frustrated, guilty and even ashamed. Mind you, this was no major incident — really not a huge deal — so it was strange to me to be reminded of it all these years later, and to think hmmm….what is it about this that is so unsettling to me, and why am I struggling to put it away?
I was suddenly reminded of a statement a friend of mine who is staying with us at the moment made — “The two ways we usually deal with sin are blame and shame.” This might be a rather rough paraphrase, but it was enough to get me thinking about the incident I’d been mulling over from the Lord’s perspective, and to realize there was a depth and breadth of issues within it that I needed to deal with. First, I blamed myself because the incident put a dear friend of mine in a situation that was uncomfortable for her. The Lord showed me the truth: this was not my fault, the free will of other people placed her in that situation — people choosing not to follow the Lord. I also discovered that because of that, and everything else that happened, I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I’d put my friend in that situation, ashamed because I felt like I’d compromised, and ashamed that I hadn’t listened to my gut instinct that “something was fishy”. I repented for not listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and God reminded me of His goodness.
I also needed to extend forgiveness to the person I trusted who hurt me and put both of us in that situation. I needed to acknowledge that I’d been trying to cover myself because I was ashamed of what happened. I needed to turn to the Lord and ask His forgiveness for covering myself and hiding instead of committing all this to Him.
Back in the garden, Adam and Eve were ashamed of their sin and began to cover themselves and hide from the Lord, and we often do the same thing today. Sometimes we do it because we don’t want to be seen in our sin. When I was a kid, if I had disobeyed my parents, I ran and hid. This was because I didn’t want the spanking that was due to me as a punishment for my misbehaviour. They often had a difficult time finding me, and as a result, I didn’t get as many spankings as I deserved! Often I think today I’m still hiding and hoping I won’t be found, instead of dealing with something because I don’t want punishment. If I had been honest about what I’d done, I might have even been forgiven, and received a lesser punishment!
The good news of the Gospel, however, is that Jesus took the punishment for our sin (the eternal separation from God we deserve) on the cross. The chastisement for our peace was upon Him. We need to learn to forgive those around us, knowing that the forgiveness we receive has a direct correlation to the forgiveness we extend. We need to learn to stop hiding from God because we’re ashamed of our sin. The great and glorious Good News is that we can turn to God, and He will deliver us, and remove our shame.
David prayed, “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed.” (Psalm 34:4&5) God is willing and waiting to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God promises this over and over again! David prayed, “I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.” (Psalm 32:5) And again He promises: “…Then you will know that I am the Lord, For they shall not be ashamed who wait for Me.” (Isaiah 49:23)
God is so good! He was waiting all along to help me deal with this past hurt, and I finally brought it to Him so He could show me the truth, and His desire for me to walk free from shame, blame, and condemnation. He can convict us, cover us, and cleanse us instead! May we all learn to turn to the Lord quickly, to be honest about our mistakes, and to let Him remind us how much He loves us, and how, even when we’re behind the bushes somewhere sewing fig leaves, He still wants a relationship with us, and He wants to make us whole.
The sermon in a nutshell: Don’t hide from the very Being who can set you free from the the shame, the guilt and the condemnation of your past! Â He wants to walk with YOU, and to make you whole!
I create resources to help people find deeper, more meaningful relationships with God through pursuing, pondering, and prayer. The "Shop" link above will take you to the home of many of the lovely resources I’ve created to help you keep walking one day deeper with Jesus.