Jan 14, 2010 | Baby Photos, The Good Word
People around the world are experiencing financial crunch right now. I think it is sometimes a good thing to be reminded of that when we get overwhelmed about where the money’s coming from for this or that, or whether your family could make it two months if you or your spouse lost your job. What Mark and I have been challenged about for quite some time is something I think a lot of us might struggle with, so I thought I’d chat about it, and tell you I’d love to hear your thoughts too.
Mark and I were both convinced that living in debt was not God’s way before we got married. There are certain things we see as reasonable reasons to go into debt (a home or a car, basically, but we’d prefer not to even go into debt for a car) and there are a lot of things that honestly, I think most people could learn to do without, but would rather go into debt for, than do without. As we’re building our marriage, we’ve recognised that the challenge to follow those principles meets us at regular intervals. (We have sometimes failed, and we are in debt at the moment, mainly for a car, but also because we’ve used the credit card crutch, too.)
Here's our little "Son of Promise" ... occasionally confused for a daughter of promise these days. He likes raisins.
When Mark finished his work in financial services and we went back to North Carolina to raise support to work for a church plant in Scotland, we knew we weren’t signing up to be rolling in the big bucks. When our visa situation meant we had to leave the US before we’d finished raising a full partnership team, we knew we’d really signed up for a life of faith, and the journey began. We’ve continually had to trust the Lord for the finances for things like making it home for my sister’s wedding, or just making ends meet at the end of the month. But the struggle has been that the credit card is always sitting on the back burner… available for emergencies… but more than willing to also offer its shiny little self for non-emergencies.
We are in another one of those faith-situations at the moment. We decided not to go to North Carolina this Christmas because the finances weren’t there and we weren’t going to play chess with the space on our credit cards to make it possible. We hoped this would mean we’d perhaps be able to go back in April, because two of our dear friends are getting married, and my sister is having a baby. We would love to be able to visit family, meet the new baby, watch the Bear be the “Ringbear” in our friends’ wedding, and perhaps have the opportunity to visit some ministry partners and attempt to find some more. (We still don’t have a 100% partnership team).
Here’s where I’m going to really open up the honesty box. I would’ve been willing to put a North Carolina Christmas on the credit card if Mark said it was okay. When I realised that, I really had to repent. (I may have shared this with you already.) I had to submit to the Lord and decide that I wanted His will more than I wanted to see my family. And it was hard to get to a place where I could say that and mean it. As the time for making a decision about the next opportunity to go home approached, I discovered the same thing was in my heart again. If Mark would’ve said it was okay to credit card the adventure home, I would’ve said “Yeah, baby!” and not have blinked twice. But when we do things in our own strength, where do we give God the opportunity to supply all our needs according to His riches and glory? (And to decide which things are the things He wants to provide for.)
As we sat across the room from each other and talked about this a few weeks ago (not because we were arguing, but because we were in single beds at Mark’s parents’ house and they are across the room from each other…very Lucy & Desi) Mark commented that the credit card was kind of like our Hagar. And it’s so true. When God promised to provide Abraham with a son, it was clear that it would be a thing of God, and not something Abraham needed to do in his own strength. But his attempt at making it happen in his own strength, at Sarah’s suggestion, was how Ishmael came about, by Hagar and not by Sarah.*
There are so many moments in our own lives where we have the opportunity to trust God, or to fall back on our own crutches and attempt to make things happen in our own strength. If God wills for us to be here for this or there for that, I believe we can trust Him to make a way for us, as long as we are obedient and listening to His guidance and direction. So as we had that chat a few weeks ago, we decided not to settle for trying to make things happen with Hagar, in our own strength, but to trust for the promises of God to be fulfilled. In Abraham’s case, through his wife Sarah, and in ours, by not falling back on the credit card crutch, but pressing forward to trust that living God’s way is better, even if it’s harder.
I don’t know exactly how all this is going to come together. But I thought I’d share a bit of what the “life of faith†looks like in my neck of the woods these days. God is a good and most definitely a trustworthy God. (Have you seen my new dishwasher? 🙂 ) And I look forward to sharing with you how all these things come together, for His goodness and glory.
*See Genesis 15 – 21 if you’d like to read the whole story.
Jan 13, 2010 | Baby Photos, Stories
Parenthood. The magical, wonderful, whimsical whirlwind that can occasionally provide insight into what the Lord might think when He looks at you. It is so good, and I am learning so much.
As you probably already know, the Bear LOVES his little car. Like ride-it-till-his-toes-bleed loves it. He has worn through a pair of shoes since we began letting him ride it around outside, (in late December!) and he is now working on a second pair, which we have ‘reinforced’ with super glue and bike tire inner tube (Mark is a keen mountain biker, so we do have that on hand).
Last week, I began taking him for longer strolls around the neighbourhood, much to his delight. We came to the other end of the complex (a good 15 minute walk at little-bear-on-his-little-car pace) and as we rounded the cul-de-sac for the return journey, he stopped at the plant and rock feature in the centre and chose a rock. I thought this was rather amusing. There were tons of rocks there, but apparently, this one was special. He sat the wee rock atop his wee car steering wheel, and began the journey home. I thought it was adorable and wished I knew what was going on inside his head.
Apparently, what was going on in his head was:Â I have found golden treasure. Precious treasure. I must go slowly. I must be careful. I must not lose my precious golden treasure rock. Are you hazarding a guess I got tired of the golden rock pretty quickly?
Golden-treasure-rock-carrying-pace is even slower than little-bear-on-his-little-car pace. In fact, golden-treasure-rock-carrying-pace is a pace at which you must stop regularly, to make sure golden-treasure-rock is still there. And if said treasure should slip from the steering wheel, even just so that it’s balancing between the inner circle of the steering wheel and the outer circle (where your mother might have the opinion that it’s quite safe), still you must move the treasure-rock back to its proper place, in the centre of the steering wheel, where there is a bumpy Winnie-the-Pooh feature, and treasure-rock actually has very little hope of staying put. Should treasure-rock fall onto the ground, well then you must reach it…you must fetch, you must grab it, you must get it back onto the steering wheel as quickly as possible. And if treasure-rock has fallen out of reach, you must notify Mommy as quickly as possible, in order to make sure treasure-rock returns to steering wheel. ASAP. ASAP ASAP.
Those were the rules, I discovered, of the golden-treasure-rock game. This meant the Bear was driving into curbs, going up driveway edges in a sideways fashion (which almost made him fall over once, car and all), and zig-zagging from one side of the street to the other. Why? Because he wasn’t watching where he was going. He was keeping both eyes firmly planted on his new-found pride and joy, the stupid golden-treasure-pet-rock. Insert Big-Mommy-Sigh here. Sigh…
During this joyful adventure in learning patience, I began to wonder how often the Lord might watch me carrying my own pet rocks. I wonder if I might get so distracted by the little things of the world I’m holding so dear that I’m not even paying attention to where I’m headed. I’m zig-zagging all over the path I’m supposed to be travelling on, losing track of my ultimate direction, and the bigger picture of the journey of life, because I’m concentrating on making sure I hold onto what I feel it’s most important to hold onto. I do think I have some pet rocks in my heart. And I’m beginning to ask the Lord to help me see what they are, so I can refocus on what’s ahead, and perhaps put the rocks back to the curb where they belong. Do you think you have any pet rocks?
Eventually, we came to a driveway full of rocks. This was after going at snail’s p golden-treasure-rock-carrying-pace for what seemed like hours. Probably 30 minutes, who knows. And the Bear saw a glorious sight. Treasure-rocks. Tons of them. And he puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Not really. He thought for a moment and picked up another rock or two or four, until I eventually encouraged him that he couldn’t take these rocks, since it looked like someone had paid to have laid there as a feature of their front garden. So he returned the other rocks. And then he put the golden-treasure-rock he’d been carefully carrying, clutching and fretting over for all that time down, too. I was very glad he decided to let it go. I’ve since discovered what he’d already figured out: there will be new rocks to pick up and put down tomorrow!
Jan 8, 2010 | Baby Photos, Stories, The Good Word
Since this post is a little bit on the heavy side, I though I’d start you out with a nice, refreshing, happy picture before you dig in. Complements to my husband, who’s doing some great photography these days. 🙂
As I’ve shared a little bit with you so far this year, I’ve been challenged to go deeper with God, and in a way, to re-engage, when it seems like I had switched to auto-pilot and was just doing my own thing.
I was challenged by a question I read the other day: “How different would your life look if you stopped believing in God?” I was challenged because I really had to think about it. As I spent some time in prayer this morning, I was thinking about my life and my faith lately, and I honestly think they would best be described as half-hearted and lukewarm. I repented this morning, because I think instead of genuinely chasing after the Lord, I’ve been going through the motions.
Here’s an example. Let’s say I want to pray about something, to ask the Lord for His will, His word, or His direction. I might ask once, twice, maybe a few times. But half-heartedly. Not sincerely seeking, just “if you wanna let me know, that’d be great. K, thanks.” And if I didn’t hear anything, instead of going deeper, seeking the Lord’s face, and going after Him, I’d just let the decision get made for me (perhaps by Mark or by life in general) or else I’d just weigh the pros and cons and call the shots for myself.
In my prayer time I’ve been half-hearted. Going through the motions. Praying for certain people on each day of the week, but more as a checklisttogetthroughsoIcanstarttheday than an opportunity to meet with my Creator and really be with Him.
And on the subject of sin, I sometimes find myself thankful, not particularly that the Lord has saved me from my sin, but more that He has saved me from the punishment for my sin. The difference might seem subtle, but there’s a lot to that if you care to take a moment and ponder it.
The thing I’m being challenged about that I really want to share is this: The Lord is constantly warning us about people who think they know Him and think they have a relationship with Him, but get to the end of their lives and are dead surprised no pun intended when Jesus says “I never knew you.” It is so easy to pray a prayer once, make a commitment down at the altar at twelve years old, start out running the race for Jesus and get sidelined by the cares of this world, to the point where the only difference between you and the guy next door is that you cuss a little less and don’t sleep in on Sunday mornings.
We shouldn’t assume we’re the good soil. We shouldn’t assume we’re not lukewarm. We shouldn’t assume we’re the ones who are doing for the least of these. We need to judge ourselves. We’re instructed not to judge others, but YES, to judge ourselves. Are we actually doing for the least of these? Are we actually carrying a cross? Are we even willing to get out of our comfort zones? Or are we just doing ‘enough’ to get by? Enough to hopefully squeak through those pearly gates?
I don’t know whether this next statement will surprise you or not. I don’t know what your expectations might be for the life and faith of a missionary on the field. I’m very thankful for the blessings of God. I’m celebrating the highs and occasionally going to Him with the lows. But lately I’ve been lukewarm, and I don’t want to walk that way for another day.
Once many years ago when I was just beginning to walk with the Lord, I was discouraged because I’d disobeyed Him, and I really didn’t want to mess up. (Lately I don’t have that same attitude — but I intend to!) The Lord met me with encouraging words from Deuteronomy 4:29, which He has met me with again and again ever since. “But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.”
Wherever you are, wherever I am, whatever situation we find ourselves in, we can get back in the game. We can start running the race again. We can start going after God. Reading the Word, doing what it says, and following the leading of the Holy Spirit. Â This was my prayer this morning in response. Feel free to make it yours:
“…Lord… Help me to re-engage. Please forgive me for letting my love grow cold. I want to walk in Your ways, seek Your face and run after you with passion. Help me to take the first step toward showing You I love You by obeying your commands, today.”
Jan 7, 2010 | Hometastic Goodness, South Africa, Stories
If you’re a regular on the show, you might be aware that I’ve been hoping for a dishwasher. Very much hoping. For the sake of better time management. For the sake of our marriage. For the sake of the poor baby who makes lots of dishes dirty and tugs at my skirt tails waiting for me to get my hands out of the dishwater and do something for him. And because a big part of our ministry is welcoming people into our home, feeding them, enjoying opportunities to pray together, and just sharing life. And it kind of stinks to waver between deciding to chill out in the living room with the guests or run to the kitchen to start on the big labour of love looming ahead of you.
Our finances are rather tight at the moment, and a dishwasher seemed like a dream…far off in the distant future…waving back at me, as if someday we would see each other on a beach, and come running slowly toward each other…me with my arms extended, dishwasher with her door open, drawers bouncing and clanging, and cords and pipes trailing behind her. Yes, I think she’s probably female. We would run slowly and purposefully like the lifeguards on Baywatch and the theme song of Chariots of Fire would play somewhere in the distance, we’d embrace, and I would walk her home, for Mark to install her, and she would be my new BFF. Anyway, it was just a hope and a dream!
However! The Lord is good. And very big. And able to make things happen that don’t seem possible. You may have noticed that we mentioned our friend Lorna giving us a Christmas present a few weeks ago. She sent us an encouraging word, that when she has felt like she should trust the Lord for something, for example to own her own home, she felt directed to purchase something, like a visitor’s book, as an act of faith that the Lord would come through. So she sent a gift toward our dishwasher fund (which made up the entirety of the fund at the time) and a package of dishwashing rinse aid. It majorly stirred up my heart and reminded me that with God, all things are possible! (Thanks again, Lorna!)
When we returned to Gordon’s Bay after Christmas, we spent some time going over our budget, looking at places where we can hopefully trim some edges, and thinking about how to keep balanced moving forward in the New Year. Signing up for a phone contract, instead of doing pay-as-you-go was a potential money-saver we’d been considering for a while, and it finally seemed like the right move. This all ties in, I promise!
So Tuesday, we signed up for a phone contact for Mark. It’s a small one which gave us a cheapo handset we probably won’t use and a small number of minutes per month… at least it has a flashlight! But signing up for the contract gave us 3,400 Rand (about $470 or £290) of in-store credit at Dion Wired (the electronics store where we signed up for the contract) or their partner store Game, which is kind of like Walmart-esque everything store. But not as huge and over the top with the eons of choices that now seem to make me dizzy whenever I’m home. And you may have guessed where we’re headed with this…
YES! Dion and Game sell dishwashers! 3,200 Rand dishwashers even! So without spending a cent (other than signing up for the phone contract which we needed to do anyway) we brought home with us a lovely new dishwasher with a beautiful large and functional inside and a two year guarantee and I am over the moon and full of run-on sentences with excitement! And thanks to Lorna’s contribution to the dishwasher fund, we can extend the warranty for another two years, if we decide that’s a good plan. 🙂 YES!
So, you’re now being introduced to my new BFF. She is as beautiful as she is functional, and a glorious sight for scaly hands. And since we didn’t meet on the beach after all, she isn’t one bit sandy. With God, all things are possible, even the provision of a dishwasher when it didn’t seem possible. YAY! Here she is…
Any name ideas from the crowd? Please comment with them! She needs something glorious. I titled her picture Sally in the meantime, but we’ll keep thinking. Thanks for rejoicing with me!
Thank You, Lord, for the character and relationship-building time Mark and I have shared whilst taking turns washing the dishes. Thank You that we already have everything we need in the glorious riches of life with Jesus. Thank You that, although a dishwasher is nothing when compared to the amazing goodness of new life in Christ, You still bless us with these special gifts of undeserved exceeding abundance anyway. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank You!
Jan 2, 2010 | Baby Photos, Stories, The Good Word
I was thinking of sharing an encouragement with you about the New Year, and perhaps challenging you to consider really really diving into God’s Word in a new way. Spending time in it every day, and allowing it to transform your life. But then for a couple of days I was struggling, not really able to put my finger on the source of it, but just ill-at-ease about life in general, and fearful awake and asleep. It took me a while to figure out what was really going on in my heart. I could see places where I was afraid when I didn’t need to be. I could see fear instead of faith leading my course of action. And I could see that I was ultimately struggling to trust God, and therefore trying to figure out how to move forward in my own strength.
But finally, this morning as I was reading, the true issue, the root, and the heart of the matter came to the surface. I was struggling to believe that God really loves me. Yes, we all know the words to “Jesus Loves Me” and we all remember that the Bible tells us so. But sometimes, when things are tough, when life gives you lemons, when things aren’t going your way, when your bank account isn’t pretty, there’s a snake in the grass ready to whisper in your ear…Does God really love you? And if you are caught unaware, little seeds of doubt can begin to produce big fruit — fear, mistrust, an unsettled mind, perhaps even a desire to throw out the baby and the bathwater.
But what good and glorious news I have to share with you this morning! What good and glorious news brought me to my knees, weeping in the shower? God loves me. That’s it, and that’s the truth. He really loves me. He really cares about what happens in my life. He really wants a relationship with me and He really wants what’s best for me.
It’s Greater Love than This
Do you have kids? I hope someday you do. Every day I have with the Bear inspires poetry in my heart — songs and music of thankfulness. I really, really love him. I really care about what happens in his life. And I really want to lead him and help him to learn how to live a life that will please God — where I know he’ll experience something greater than any other way of life available. But the point I’m trying to make is, I really, really love him. And the way I love that little boy, if you could put it on a calculator and add it up to some numerical value, absolutely cannot compare with the love the Lord has for me, with a thousand calculators. Just me. Little Caroline Collie from Washington, North Carolina — who has this many hairs on her head and has had this many dreams about chocolate on Tuesdays and has seen this many sunsets.
He knows everything about me. And He still loves me. And I am so glad to hold that truth in my heart in a fresh way today. It is absolutely glorious.
So if I could still issue a New Year’s challenge to you, I might encourage you to get into the Bible like never before. To spend time with your Creator and seek His face. But perhaps today, more than any of that, I just want you to know how much He loves you. No matter what you do. It’s unconditional love. He doesn’t need you. But He really, really wants you. You bring Him joy just being who He created you to be. You bring Him joy just being. His desire is for you. And He’s been chasing after you.
In the year ahead, I hope you let Him catch you. Let Him choose you. And let Him shower you with His amazing love. If you do, you’ll want to dive into His Word to know Him better and let Him change you. You’ll want to get up early and get away to be with Him. You will become a part of the greatest love story in history — the story of a loving God, and the generations and generations of people He has demonstrated His love to. In the midst of the billions, the God of the universe wants to know you. Happy New Year.
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