Mar 27, 2010 | Stories, The Good Word, The Parenthood
We had a few errands to run this morning. They included visiting Toys R Us. My Dad watched the Bear put together his ABCs puzzle at ninja speed on skype a couple weeks ago and wanted to buy him some more puzzles. (They’re educational, and he’s competitive like that. 🙂 ) But after our slightly difficult experience in receiving the awesome gift my Mom sent a few weeks ago, he decided it would probably be easier to just put the money into our bank account and let us buy the puzzles here. So we were off to do so at the Toys R Us nearby this morning, and we found a great puzzle that we’re looking forward to the Bear busting into as soon as he wakes up from his nap. I also found something else at the Toy Store this morning, swimming in my own heart.
That’s the backstory. This is the verse:
Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. (I Timothy 6:6-8)
The Toys R Us just down the road in Somerset West is probably a lot like the one down the road from you. It’s basically the same, except sometimes some of the toys here advertise themselves as having British voices, which is understandable since folks would probably prefer their toddlers to speak the way they do, rather than sound like they’re from a foreign country. Anyway.
We perused the puzzles, and also the train sets, the wagons, the games, and the little bicycles and tricycles, of which they have a nice and pricey selection. I lingered there for a bit because the Bear could probably use a new bike pretty soon, as (sadly) he is outgrowing his adorable little car. And wearing the plastic tires through. As I walked away I realised I felt guilty for not being able to buy him a little bike right now. (Even though he didn’t even notice them!) And as I pondered exactly why I might have that feeling, I realised that something’s not right if we feel guilty for not being able to buy our kids everything they want. But where does that feeling come from?
I think we do it to each other as parents in some ways — we compare what other folks have given their kids and feel like we have to at least do the same. We want our kid to be as fashionable as the next kid, and we try to put them in their best clothes when we take them out.
We are also bombarded with advertising day in and day out — TV, radio, internet, magazines, you name it — almost entirely created with the sole purpose of breeding discontentment in our hearts. Think about it — your eyelashes aren’t long enough. Your abs aren’t tight enough. Your clothes aren’t this-season enough. You want to give your kid the very best, right? Of course you do.
I’ve had lots of folks tell me they only had X number of kids because they felt that was all they’d be able to put though college. But should that really be the plumb line by which we measure our success as parents? When I was at university, the students I knew who were working their own way through school or at least helping fund their education (sorry to be honest, Mom and Dad) took their studies a lot more seriously than I did, and often seemed to be a lot more mature, balanced individuals. Don’t get me wrong — I am very thankful that my Mom and Dad paid for me to go to university — but I don’t think anyone should consider themselves less successful parents if they aren’t able to do so. (And who’s to say the Bear isn’t going to get an academic or athletic scholarship in 15 years or so — he’s on his way to Yale already!)
That was a bit of a digression, but the point I’m trying to make is that I think we can get sidetracked into measuring our success as parents by the wrong set of standards.
I have observed a certain pattern in my encounter with other kids and in my brief stint as a parent so far. I will sum it up with this: The worst thing you can do for your kids is give them everything they’ve ever wanted.
Now godliness with contentment is great gain. I would really, really, really rather raise the Bear to be thankful for the things that he has than to be happy because of the things that he has (which will eventually turn into unhappiness for the things he lacks). Â I feel like if I can teach him to follow Jesus and to be content with what he has in life, he is on a good start to pursuing a life that matters, rather than a life focused on the pursuit of all the things that he can’t take with him.
Well, that was a headful of thoughts based on a trip to the toy store, hey? But I’d really like to know what you think. Has that sort of guilt ever found its way to your heart? How do you handle it?
xCC
Mar 26, 2010 | Baby Photos, Stories, The Good Word
I mentioned the other day that we were at an end-of-the-fiscal-month-so-nobody-move-till-we-get-paid kind of moment for the past few days. (We get paid on the 25th.) I was also talking about “coincidences” a couple weeks ago and how things come together way too often in my life for me to chalk things up to Mr. Chance any longer. And this Monday I had another one of those experiences that, here it is Friday, I’m finally getting a chance to write down and tell you about. First let me share a Scripture to explain why I want to re-tell this:
Trust in the Lord and do good.
Dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
That was Psalm 37:3-4. So. It was an end-of-the-fiscal-month-so-nobody-move-till-we-get-paid kind of day Monday. The Bear had decided he was too cool for Sunday school the day before — meaning he wasn’t cool with getting left with the other kids in the babysitting area. Hero Hubs decided to walk him around outside for a while during church, and he spent pretty much the whole service doing just that. By the time we got home, he had little blisters on his pwecious little toes, and it was obvious it was time for new shoes. He had worn out the ones he got for Christmas with all the car-riding! But like I said, it was an end-of-the-fiscal-month-so-nobody-move-till-we-get-paid kind of week. And we wouldn’t get paid till Thursday.
The issue was, if we didn’t buy the Bear a new pair of shoes, he couldn’t go outside and ride his car, because he drags his toes to brake, and he’ll come home with bloody feet. But if he can’t ride his car, he is as bummed as the day is long. And that thought made me really sad. Going outside and riding his car is like his moment of freedom — and the boy’s a little Scottish, you know, he needs his F-RRR-EEEDOM!
So we were in a bit of a dilemma. But not for long. As we were discussing what to do about the shoe issue, I just happened to look at this card a friend had sent us a few days before that I had on display on our counter. And I just happened to notice something I didn’t see before. She’d put a sheet of stickers inside the card for the Bear, and I suddenly just happened to see some writing behind the sticker sheet, even though I’d read the card at least a couple times already. I picked the card up, looked behind the sticker sheet, and there she’d written us another wee note, and included $50. (THANK YOU, MY FRIEND!!!)
$50 will buy plenty of shoes for Bear Bear in South Africa — his next ten+ pairs!
It gets even better. On our way to buy the shoes, we prayed that the Lord would help us find them at a good price. Our finances are tight, so we were planning to be careful and make good purchases and make that $50 go a long way! So we shopped around the mall for ages and ages to try to find shoes that were the right size (challenge #1) and that weren’t a ridiculous price (challenge #2). Finally, we arrived at a store called Ackermans which has really cute baby stuff. They had a ton of shoes on their “Giveaways” (meaning decent sales) rack and I started hunting. Eventually, I found these adorable sandals (pictured below!) marked R19.00. Yes, that is 19 South African Rand. And in case you don’t happen to know the current exchange rate, ZAR19 is like $2.56!! Or £1.73!!! Or €1.93!!!!
There were several other pairs of the exact same sandals on the rack. I looked through them, and they were all marked R79.00. It was obvious we just happened to find a mis-pricing, but we asked the guy who was labeling and putting things on the racks, and he checked and said, “19 Rand.” So we were able to buy the Bear a pair of sandals, and a pair of trainers, on sale for R59.00, with a ton of cash to spare!!!
The thing about feeding on the faithfulness of God is that He works in different ways at different times. Sometimes it’s a check in the mail. Sometimes it’s a shoe on sale. Sometimes your brother reads your blog post and deposits money in your bank account!! But the faithfulness I want to feed on — the thing I want to chew on and remember over and over again, is that God is good and that He has come through for us — in different ways at different moments — but every time. That means I can trust Him. That means I can be at peace about tomorrow. Because the God who comes through for me is already there.
So I just happened to take a moment to share this with you this morning. I hope you just happen to be encouraged by it, and perhaps to believe that more often than we think, things don’t just happen. 🙂 Has anything special just happened for you this week?
Without further ado… BearBear’s new shoes!!
Here’s The (Practical Application) Sermon in a Nutshell: We’ve been recording testimonies of God’s goodness and provision in a special little journal for a while. Although we haven’t been writing them down nearly as often as we should, it is really, really encouraging to open that journal up and feed on God’s faithfulness in moments where we need encouragement. Perhaps you can start writing down things you want to remember, so you can feed on that faithfulness, too!
Mar 24, 2010 | The Good Word
It’s close to the end of March. The year has progressed more quickly than I expected in some ways. In other ways it has felt like time was moving at snail’s pace. When I spoke about my over and over again patterns yesterday, and thought about some over and over again patterns in my life this morning, I realised I needed to be reminded (over and over again) about God’s love.
So I took a moment to reread this and to remember what He reminded me at the beginning of the year.
We need to remember what the Lord has said to us. And treasure it. And chew on it over and over again.
I decided to link to it here, because I have a feeling you might also spiritually feel “close to the end of March.” And there are things the Lord said to you in some of the Januarys of your soul that are worth rereading, remembering, re-engaging with, and re-believing.
I hope this re-post will encourage (or re-encourage) you. I’d love for you to add a link in the comments to something you may have posted that you needed to re-read. Perhaps the rest of us can be encouraged by it, too.
xCC
Sometimes even if you’re just crawling, it feels good to remember you’re moving forward. 🙂
Mar 15, 2010 | The Good Word
Mother Teresa once said, “In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.” This morning someone asked me what I wanted my impact in this life to be, and this is what came out of my fingertips:
Honestly, I am not sure what my impact is going to look like. From what I’ve seen of my walk with God so far, it has been the small things done with great kindness that has had the greatest impact. The people I have seen come to know the Lord have been individuals who I have personally “walked the road” with for a long time. I want to write and speak and touch thousands of lives, but I am starting to think the best way for that to happen is by just touching one. And it seems to me that if Jesus spent 3 years mainly teaching and working with 12 guys, He was setting an example for us to see. When we’re faithful with a little, God can give us more to be faithful with.
After I thought about it, I realised how incredibly true it is, that the Lord has shown me this principle in my walk with Him. The places where I felt closest to the heart of God were the places when I left behind the 99 to go after the one. When I stopped and sat down with a guy on a cold street in Edinburgh, bought him a hot chocolate and eventually a Bible. When I stopped an international student on my university campus to ask if she needed any help, and how she was settling in a new country. (Seven years later, she is still walking with Jesus.) When I sat with a man in a town square in Mexico, though he spoke Mayan and not much Spanish and we bumbled along with little conversation. When I held on to hope for another international student for two and a half years, and wept with tears of joy the day she was baptized. It is often in taking note of the one, doing the small things with great love, that we are taking note of the heart of God.
Jesus stopped for the one:
- the one Samaritan woman with a poor reputation at the well
- the one woman with the flow of blood who would’ve been considered ‘untouchable’ in His day
- the one over-tax-collecting “piece of work” Zacchaeus who climbed a tree to see Him
- the one Blind Bartimaeus at the roadside
- children, children and more children, one at a time
- the one little boy with epilepsy who was constantly falling into the fire
- the one gentile woman who asked for healing for her daughter
This list could go on and on. And on. But the point is, Jesus showed us that no matter where He was headed, what mission He was on His way to accomplish, He always had time for the one.
Do you have dreams of greatness? Do you have dreams of speaking to millions? Touching millions? Reaching millions? The best way to start is by touching one. And there is one in your life every day. Ask God to renew your mind to see the one, and to see what you can do. If together, as believers, we are all doing small things with great love, we will be doing a very big thing, indeed, and the world will know that our love is the love of God.
Mar 13, 2010 | Baby Photos, The Good Word
When I first started walking with God, I prayed and things happened. I asked Him for things and they were there. I must be the greatest Christian ever! I thought. It was so encouraging to feel like God was so near.
When I read God’s Word and I didn’t understand, I asked Him to help me. Sure enough, through a sermon or at a Bible study the next week, He helped me understand in response to my expression of desiring to know Him more.
A growing relationship with God is a lot like growing up. As a baby, you have all your needs met immediately. Nobody tells you to be patient. You cry and someone comes to comfort you. You fall and someone helps you up. Your daily bread (or milk) comes often and regularly, and you don’t have to do anything for it.
But eventually we all grow up, leave the milk behind and start feeding ourselves. We need patience, because we learn that the world doesn’t revolve around us… dang! We may even begin to dare I say it…work for our food. Sadly, the packed lunches with a bag of chips and a love note on the napkin come to an end. Yes, I had an especially wonderful Mom who packed my lunch from kindergarten through my senior year in high school and sometimes wrote a note to tell me she loved me on my napkin!
Perhaps through chores or a part-time job, we begin to make a contribution to our own sustenance in one way or another. Eventually, it is more and more up to us to make sure there’s food on the table. (Our daily bread is a provision of God, but we are still required to work for that provision in one way or another.)
It’s a lot like our walk with God. Patience is a necessity. I pray for things now, just as I did ten years ago, and they don’t always magically appear. By patience, possess your souls. I might have to wait six weeks, six months, six years…and sometimes it might not happen the way I hoped it would.
Does God love me less than He did a decade ago? No. As a matter of fact, He trusts me more. He trusts that I am able to handle the waiting. I won’t faint, I won’t pass out when the thing I’m longing for is not immediately presented. The patience teaches me perseverance, and when the longing is fulfilled, it is so much more precious and meaningful than it would have been had I prayed and received it instantly. The Lord also knows that I’ve grown up in the generation of those who pace in front of the microwave, and it is very good indeed for me to learn patience.
It’s similar when it comes to learning God’s Word: I shouldn’t expect a Sunday sermon to answer every question I’ve come up with during the week. It sure would be a long and discombobulated message! We need to learn to go after God — to seek wisdom and look for understanding the way you might look for a treasure if you knew you could find it. Having a study Bible helps. Having resources like Matthew Henry’s Commentary (a personal fave) and Spurgeon’s Treasury of David online are also incredible resources for gaining understanding of the Word, the ways and the will of God.
If you have the ability to read, you have teeth. And if you have the Bible, and clearly you have the internet or else you couldn’t read this, you have meat..and hearty condiments to help you enjoy the meat! Don’t settle for the milk of a sermon once a week. Don’t settle for letting someone else tell you the Word, the ways and the will of God. Sink your teeth into the steak, the lamb chops, the glorious bacon cheeseburgers of a personal relationship with the Living God. Let Him tell you who He is. Let Him feed you in green pastures by still waters. And ask for His help, if you find you’re not hungry. If you knew how good it is, you would be!
xCC
An end note: I’d like to start digging deeper around here, together. I have some ideas a-stewin’ and a-brewin’ about how this space might allow us to encourage each other deeper in God. If you think you might like to write a guest post about going deeper, please let me know!
I create resources to help people find deeper, more meaningful relationships with God through pursuing, pondering, and prayer. The "Shop" link above will take you to the home of many of the lovely resources I’ve created to help you keep walking one day deeper with Jesus.