My brother in law, Andy, has a great sense of humour. He and my sister, Dodi, are SUCH a perfect match for each other. There’s probably not another couple in the world that gets more laughs out of farts and pooping dogs. He tells lots of unbelievable (and unbelievably funny) stories, and I think most of them are true!Â (He really was on American Gladiators!)Â Andy has arranged a special top ten for you on the blog today. If you’re interested in reading more of his funny stuff, check out his blog, That Happened People! here. Welcome to the show Andy!
The 10 Biggest myths I was Told in My Life
10.Â Â There is a snail in my nose who would bite my finger off if I picked my nose. (Either that snail is slow or I’m quick.)
9. Â There’s a Tooth Fairy.Â (I knew this was fake when I got an IOU.)
8.Â Sitting too close to the TV will make you blind.Â (What if the TV is off?)
7.Â Mixing Pop Rocks and soft drinks will make your stomach explode. (I tried to use this as an excuse to skip school.)
6.Â Pepsi is better than Coca-Cola. (That actually qualifies as a lie.)
5.Â Cheaters never win. (Last time I checked Alex Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez took steroids and they won the World Series.)
4.Â AOL is tracking my email and if I forward “this email” to 10 people Bill Gates will send me money.Â (Don’t worry, Bill, I know you’re good for it.)
3.Â There was a secret world on Super Mario Brothers.Â (There is no secret world.)
2.Â That I could be a professional baseball player.Â (This was wrong on so many levels.)
1.Â My brother used to tell me I was adopted.Â (His story had some weight, I have almost every recessive trait in our family.)
My point: I’m living the American Dream.
Thanks for the laughs, Andy! Funny enough, your wife used to tell me I was adopted too! Love you guys, and can’t wait to meet the wee one on the way!
Sometimes it’s best to just trust the Lord’s timing for things. This can be really hard, if you, like me, sometimes struggle with impatience, or if you unnecessarily worry or fret about something, even if it’s out of your control. You’ve probably experienced a moment when you’ve realised if you’d just been patient, and not tried to “jump the gun,” or make things hurry up and happen, you would’ve been better off. Haste makes waste.
One of my favourite stories my Dad tells is about Miss Music. I think the reason I like it so much is because he is laughing by the end so much, he can hardly finish the story. I warn you — some of you might find it a little offensive, and all I can say is, “I guess you had to be there.” See, Miss Music was my Aunt Jo’s cat. My Aunt Jo is an incredibly gifted musician — pianist, harpist — basically, you pass her an instrument and she’ll play you a tune, you play her a tune, she’ll play it back. Hence the cat, Miss Music.
One day, Miss Music climbed a tree in the front garden of Aunt Jo & Uncle Blake’s house. Aunt Jo was very very concerned. She was afraid Miss Music wouldn’t come out of the tree. My cousin Amy once called a fireman when her cat was up a tree, and he retorted, Lady…have you ever seen a cat skeleton up a tree? Enough said. Anyway, Aunt Jo was not satisfied with the idea of waiting, and trusting the cat would come down.
Exactly how the next series of events came about, I’m not sure. Basically, it was decided that a friend of Uncle Blake’s, Googy Singleton (yes, that’s his name, and no I’m not sure if I spelled it right) would bring his gun over. The plan was that Googy would shoot the tree limb down from the tree, and, since cats are always so dextrous as to always land on their feet, Miss Music would join the tree limb on the descent, and walk away unscathed, and safely out of the tree.
As you might guess, that’s not what happened. Googy aimed and took a shot at the branch, and — those with weak constitutions, look away — he shot the cat out of the tree…shewww…wham…dead.
“Miss Music, Miss Music!!” Aunt Jo exclaimed. By this point my dad is in hysterics telling the story. “Miss Music, Miss Music!!” Sadly, Miss Music made it out the tree, but she didn’t make it out alive.
The Sermon in a Nutshell: We often need to trust the natural timing of things. If you are loving and trusting the Lord, and obeying His commands, He is able to make every situation work together for your good. If you’re not trusting the Lord, maybe now’s a good time to start. You might be the one in the tree!