When You’re Scared of Everyone Else’s (Better?) Story

Jun 26, 2019 | The Good Word

Funny question: When’s the last time you read something you were afraid to read? 

Maybe a book you thought you’d find to hard to deal with — something you thought would poke at some old wounds? Maybe an envelope that came in the mail with a yes or a no in it?

Funny answer: Last year, I read a book I probably would’ve avoided, had the sweet friend of mine who works at the library not handed it to me and said “I think you would love this.”

The book was Daring to Hope, by Kate Majors Davis. She’s the author of Kisses from Katie and she is (in my humble opinion) like a modern-day-mother-Theresa serving orphans in Uganda. This story, in some respects, picks up where her first bestseller Kisses from Katie left off.

If you know the slightest bit of backstory — that I served as a missionary in southern Africa for a couple of years — you might wonder why I was extremely hesitant to open the cover.

Here’s the thing. Even though the Hero Hubs and I felt completely confident that it was absolutely clear that our season in South Africa was coming to a close and it was time to move to the US, even though the Lord just about put road signs in the sky for us to say “This is the way, walk in it…” still, I was afraid I’d just feel plain guilty that I am here… living, breathing and writing in North Carolina, and I am therefore no longer there.

I decided to be brave enough to open the cover and start reading. Instead of condemnation and guilt and shame washing over me, I was embraced by grace, love and… hope.

Katie wrote about her everyday life, and she wrote about what it looked like to be faithful to Jesus, right where she was, doing the things each day that she felt the Lord calling her to do. Baking the bread. Feeding her many children. Caring for the sick in her community.

She wrote:

“As I’m tempted to wallow in guilt over all that I am not for my children, gently He points out that I was never meant to meet all their needs anyway.”

And I said in my heart, “Me, too.”

She wrote:

“This is such a simple truth, yet it strikes my heart in a profound way. To dwell in the place I have been given. To do the things I have been given. To love the people I have been given. This is not mysterious or far reaching, yet this is the truth of a God-ordained life.”

And I said in my heart, “Yes! This is the truth!”

And as the encouraging words unfolded, story by story and page by page, I was reminded something I’ve been telling myself all along: my job is not to do what anyone else is doing.

I think the good and profoundness of these six words only hit me when my neighbor wrote them down on a notecard and put them on her refrigerator: Your Race is in Your Lane.

If God calls me to Uganda or Sri Lanka or Argentina, I will go. But what if He is just asking me to be kind, to love well, and to live my life in my lane right here? Is that any less faithful?

I finally decided I didn’t need to be afraid of anyone else’s story — because my faithfulness will not look like theirs, and it’s not supposed to.

Katie wrote:

“As it turns out, faithfulness was in the ordinary, in the everyday things that do not feel glorious but, in fact, lead us to His feet.”

And when the last page was read, I took a deep breath — relieved. With a sigh and smile and maybe wiping a tear or two, I gave thanks to a God who doesn’t write the same story for everyone to live. He has a million stories up His sleeves. SO many different threads to weave together in the beautiful tapestry He’s unfolding.

Are you maybe comparing your story to someone else’s and feeling like you come up short? Comparing your Mom skills? Your productivity at work or your volunteer hours or your kid’s performance on a sports team?

If so, please hear this and believe it: Your job is not to walk anyone else’s walk. It’s not to talk anyone else’s talk. And it’s not to fulfill anyone else’s calling.

Whether you’re on a farm in Kansas or in a penthouse in Hong Kong, keep on asking: 

Please show me what it looks like for me to be faithful today. Lord help me to stay in my lane.

And then my friend, go out and live your extraordinary-ordinary beautifully-unique story — you’re the only one who can live faithfully to the beautiful life God has planned for you.

xCC

You can find Daring to Hope and Kisses from Katie on Amazon.

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Psst! Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for supporting With Love!

Is This Person a Gift or a Threat?

Jun 19, 2019 | The Good Word

I love love love it when something I’ve read a dozen times before suddenly explodes like fireworks with new meaning. 

Like, re-reading a classic like Pride and Prejudice and suddenly seeing all the prides, all the prejudices, playing out between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett — the themes come to life when you know what’s coming next in the story, right? 

I find it even more magical when someone pulls an incredibly simple, yet extremely profound — life-changing — truth out of a passage I know I’ve read from start to finish on numerous occasions.

We had a fantastic guest speaker at church a few weeks ago, and he jumped into 3 John and brought to life something I’d never seen before, that spoke with significant clarity to me, I’m still finding fresh truth in it.

There are a few key points to bring up that will help me pass along the lightbulb moment to you.

Ready?

So. John, who wrote Third John, addresses Gaius, in this very short letter, and he starts by praying prosperity and blessing over Gaius. He addresses him as Beloved three times (and hold onto that thought for a moment) and he encourages Gaius because, basically he’s just totally stoked to hear that Gaius is walking in the truth, and being generous in the way he faithfully serves his church peeps, and even strangers. 

John goes on with a few choice words about Diotrephes… but I’ll let you read the passage below to see what his thoughts are there.

Words addressed to Gaius:

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. For I rejoiced greatly when brethren came and testified of the truth that is in you, just as you walk in the truth. […] Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do for the brethren and for strangers, who have borne witness of your love before the church. If you send them forward on their journey in a manner worthy of God, you will do well… {3 John 2-3,5-6}

Words about Diotrephes:

I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have preeminence among them, does not receive us. Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us with malicious words. And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to, putting them out of the church. {3 John 9-10}

John follows that with these remarks:

Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does what is good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God. {3 John 11}

So we’ve got this interesting little thing we might call a “character foil” from a literary perspective. There are two characters set side by side, and we get to see a contrast of personalities that makes us better understand them both.

Gaius is welcoming to everybody and is commended and encouraged for it.

Diotrephes longs instead for preeminence and, like the coolest of the cool kids at the ‘cool’ lunch table, he wants to call the shots on who’s in and who’s out. And it sounds like everyone who’s not already in is out.

When John writes Gaius this letter, he repeatedly reminds him of one thing: he is Beloved. And that’s not just like “I really think you’re awesome.” That word should speak to Gaius’ heart and whisper: you are the Beloved of an Almighty God. You are the Beloved of this Jesus that you preach. 

Side note: That lovely Greek word for Beloved, is the same word spoken when Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist and a voice spoke from the clouds, “This is my Beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” 

We get to be called THAT kind of Beloved. Wow.

That’s a side note light bulb, but let me get to the one I promised earlier.

Like Gaius and Diotrephes, we have a choice about how we receive the people who come into our lives, and this is it:
Every person can be a gift. Or, every person can be a threat.
If we feel like Diotrephes, say, maybe we want to stay in control, we are likely to see people as a threat.

When we first started our photography business more than a half a dozen years ago, it was hard not to think of other photographers as a threat. It was hard not to be filled with a mindset like, “There’s not enough pie for everyone. We need to get as much of the pie as we can get.” 

But when we began to trust that God was calling us to build our business, we could see more clearly that our part of the story was to be faithful. We connected with other photographers who helped us succeed, and we did our best to help other photographers along the way. We learned to live as the Beloved, and to trust God to open doors for us as He saw fit.

And open doors, He did. 

All these years later, we can sense how God has changed our hearts and helped us to have a sense of peace. When it seemed like another photographer was knocking on the door of some of our current clients, maybe even trying to offer similar services at lower prices, it was hard not to get ‘itchy’ and uncomfortable about it.

But over the years, we’ve learned to trust God and to say “There is enough pie to go around. God will take care of us.”

And even this worked together for our good, as our clients asked if we could do those same services for them — and we could, and we are.

This looked like a threat — but God made this person a gift.

As a writer I’ve had a hard time navigating the ropes of the writing world, wanting to lock arms and encourage others, but at the same time feeling “If I push you ahead, will I then be behind? If I help you get to the top, will that put me closer to the bottom?”

But I’m learning to receive fellow writers as gifts. And just this year, in choosing to join a community of writers where I can encourage others and be encouraged, I’ve found life and growth and … you guessed it… gifts, one after another, in the form of friends to walk alongside me on the writing journey, and wisdom I might’ve been too prideful to realize I needed.

Whether it’s the new nurse on your floor at the hospital, the new neighbor who just moved in down the street, the new gal at church who everyone seems to like, or the new business in town that seems to be in direct competition with yours, you can choose how you will receive every person you meet: threat, or gift. 

And if, like Gaius, we can find our identity as the Beloved, we can receive any and every person — brother or sister in Christ or absolute stranger — as a gift, deserving of welcome and encouragement, of friendship and love. 

You are Beloved, friend. Welcome the gifts around you today!

xCC

Special thanks to Peter Hartwig for being a fantastically encouraging guest speaker and inspiring many of these thoughts for sharing!!

Also note: Henri Nouwen’s book, Life of the Beloved, is a fantastic, brief and deep read to help you understand what it means to be the Beloved of God.
I highly recommend it!

Are you encouraged today? If so, you can subscribe to receive weekly Love, From Here and never miss a post by clicking right here!

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Psst! Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for supporting With Love!

A Secret Whisper For the Not Good

Jun 12, 2019 | The Good Word

You know what’s really hard sometimes? Trying to find the good in the seemingly not good.

I want to let you in on a little secret about it. 

And as usual explain the secret with a story.

Around the sweet little kiddos at the Collie house, there are lots of dear friends in different circles. The church friends and the homeschool group friends, the new neighborhood friends and the old neighborhood friends… you get the idea.

Now among these friends, there are some in particular that my kiddos visit from time to time. And when they return from playing with those friends at their house, sometimes something just seems off.

The last time, my eldest came home feeling frustrated, but he was unspecific about his frustrations. Arguments started arising surrounding allowances and chores and items on his wish list that he would like to save up his own money to buy, but that his Mom and Dad have made the executive decision he cannotbuy even if he has three times the money he needs to buy them.

Sometimes I try to sit down with the one kid having trouble, and just start gently, slowly asking questions and listening. And sometimes I think when you sit down with someone and try to ask thoughtful questions and really really listen? You can hear things they don’t even realize they’re saying. The message beneath the words, right?

And this time what I really heard beneath the talk about wanting to be able to spend the money on this or that, wanting to do chores and make more money, wanting me to create opportunities for this to happen… what I heard underneath all that was:

I want something, and I think it’s good. You don’t want me to have it, so you are not good.

Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”

 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ”

Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. 

{Read the Whole Story in Genesis 3}

Do you see a bit of a theme developing here?

Maybe that sounds like oversimplification but look at a different story and see if you see this theme here: 

Why does the woman eat the fruit? This is the moment. This is the first “not good.”

God created and saw that it was good. God created something else and saw that it was good. 

If we believe God is good, we believe He creates good things and He gives good gifts.

In the life of the believer, we can, we should, we must take this a step further and cling to a belief like this:

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The Lord will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He withhold
From those who walk uprightly. {Psalm 84:11}

I think many of our “not goods” come from believing that God is withholding good things from us. Like Eve in the garden, and like my kid coming home from a friend’s house, we want to say:

I want something, and I think it’s good. You don’t want me to have it, so you are not good.

It is pretty darn hard to be happy when we don’t get what we want, right?

But what do we do about it when we don’t get what we want?

Celebrate car accidents and broken bones? Throw parties when someone dies unexpectedly?

Absolutely not.

But here’s that secret I promised you. If you can choose to believe God is always good, then when something not good comes along, you can take a deep breath and whisper a prayer like:

This seems not good. But God, you are good. And somehow, you can make even this good.

When we choose to trust, and we choose to still believe — even when it’s hard, even when it hurts… especially when it hurts — when we choose to trust, we can find hope to keep us going and anchor our souls. 

When we choose to trust in the goodness of God, and to focus on Him, just like Isaiah 26:3 says…He keeps us in perfect peace. We find a peace we never expected in the midst of the hard and the scary and the hurt, because we believe God can and will work things together for our good. And He does not withhold good things.

After sitting on the couch for a while with that sweet child of mine, hearing his heart and getting down into a sense of the real ‘not good,’ I had the opportunity to tell him two things that I wanted him to hear:

1. Your Dad and I love you so much. We are deeply invested in wanting to choose what is best for you. We are careful about what we allow you to have and see and do because we want to keep you safe and we want to do what’s best for you.

2. Please trust us. Even when it seems unfair and you’re not getting your way, I want to ask you to believe that we love you enough to sometimes say yes and sometimes say no. We want what truly is good for you.

I wonder if the Lord would sit us down on the couch to say the same thing? To the thing you’re waiting for, the diagnosis you’re facing, the no you got when you prayed so hard for a yes? Would He say:

1. I love you so much.

2. Please trust Me.

And at the other end of the sofa, when you look back at the Lord who loves you, what will you say in response?

Next time, try whispering this one simple thing:

This seems not good. But God, you are good. And somehow, you can make even this good.

xCC

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I hope you’re encouraged, friend! I write With Love, From Here every Wednesday. Take a moment to subscribe here and you’ll never miss a post!

If you’re walking through some very ‘not good’ I highly recommend Timothy Keller’s book, Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering.

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Psst. Some posts on my site contain affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases, I receive compensation at no extra cost to you. I love it when you do that! Thank you for supporting With Love!

Meet Jupiter, Your Cosmic Big Brother

Jun 5, 2019 | The Good Word

A single slice of information, obtained from a very interesting audiobook listen a couple of months ago has stuck with me hard and fast — a fresh encouragement about a God Who is all seeing, all knowing, and intimately inthe details great and small.

If Astrophysics isn’t your thing, just bear with me… and let me quote the source on this one.

“Newton’s Laws specifically state that while the gravity of a planet gets weaker and weaker the farther from it you travel, there is no distance where the force of gravity reaches zero.” (Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Astrophysics for People in a Hurry)

Huh?

Okay. So anything that has mass has gravity. And objects with more mass? Yup. More gravity. This means that a mighty big planet, like Jupiter, which also has a mighty big gravitational field, can pull on objects quite, quite quite far away. Even though the gravitational pull diminishes as distance increases, it still exists. And (in this case) it pulls in or bats out of harm’s way many comets and other objects floating through space that would otherwise wreak havoc on the inner solar system, the part we call home. 

Uh… what?

Well, this means Jupiter acts like a gravitational shieldfor Earth. Jupiter is like the cosmic big brother that has protected Earth from getting constantly slammed by asteroids that would make a stable life on our beautiful green-and-blue planet virtually impossible. Without that protection, Earth would have a hard time being an inhabitable planet — we would constantly be living out Deep Impact, or whatever that other movie with Liv Tyler was.

So why is this even worth a mention?

It is absolutely glorious — I’m inspired by a fresh sense of wonder — that the existence of other planets inside our solar system could have any impact on life on Earth whatsoever, let alone be seen as a crucial part of the system that allows us to live on our beautiful planet. I’ve often imagined our incredible Creator flinging stars into space — but I’ve never imagined Him setting up the cosmos in such a strategic way, with infinite knowledge of how the very existence of any object will have some sort of impact on every other object in creation.

And if the God who knows all this, and does all this, knows me, and loves me? Then He must also be intimately aware of my every circumstance because it really, truly all matters more than we can even possibly conceive. Your second grade teacher. That first heart break. The time you stubbed your toe so hard it bled. The job interview that was a big fat NO. He sees it, He knows it, and He is in the business of weaving all things — from your shoe size to the location of the planets in the cosmos — together for the good of those who love Him.

So what are you walking through today? Does it seem like a mountain that needs climbing? Or do you feel like you’re facing something that is completely insignificant to everyone else? Can I encourage you with two simple words today? 

It matters.

You are seen and known and so deeply loved, you’re worth dying for. If you’re struggling to hold that truth deep down, and believe it, remember that even the planets of the solar system are contributing to this one rare, amazing, precious life of yours. *Snaps for Jupiter*

In all the universe, there is only one God, and He has set His affections on you.

xCC

“But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself him who is godly;
The Lord will hear when I call to Him.” {Psalm 4:3}

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How Jesus is Smashing My Rejections

May 29, 2019 | The Good Word

Hey friends! I know I’ve been saying this good ol’ Love, From Here will be back into a regular routine soon… and then it isn’t … but I think I’ve finally turned a few corners and let go of a few commitments that will allow me to continue writing and encouraging your hearts. Thank you so much for your patience and your consistent encouragement, for sharing and for praying! More love and more news to come…

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“You can’t sit with us!”

It’s hard not to feel a little guilty leap of heart happy when Regina George, the Queen of Rejecting Others gets rejected by her own hive of bees at lunch. If you haven’t seen Mean Girls, just know that this is the moment when the meanest of the Mean Girls gets a taste of her own medicine.

When someone else is getting rejected, let’s be honest, we can feel a mix of emotions. If we feel the rejection is deserved, maybe we’re okay with it. But I don’t think too many of us feel overwhelmingly happy when rejection points its unpleasant finger in our direction and says Nope, not you.

Lately I’ve been experiencing a new type of rejection that I think I was probably so afraid of I didn’t even want to try, for fear of rejection.

While *not* being particularly busy writing in this neck of the woods, I’ve still been doing some writing, including working and reworking and thinking and rethinking a picture book and then wording and rewording a picture book, tentatively called She Curtsied for the Queen. 

I won’t outline the story for you here (as I hope you’ll get to read a lovely, fully-illustrated and well-edited version of it someday) but I’ll tell you it’s one of those things that arrived by surprise, and I feel like there’s a lesson for me here, about recognizing a gift of God as something we ought to properly steward, even when that looks hard and it looks like potential rejection.

Two agents thus far have come back with this exactly reply, truly almost word-for-word:

“I’m sorry to say I don’t feel I’m connecting wholeheartedly with your writing, despite its many charms.”

(One used that sentence with “I” and the other with “We”… seriously that was the only difference. Even though it’s polite, it’s still rejection.

And that ‘R” word is the thing you hear from so many writers — that the pile of rejection letters is rather long before anybody gets anywhere.

So when this little picture book’s second rejection hit my inbox yesterday, I took a deep breath and decided to smile and text a friend these words:

“She Curtsied for the Queen got its second rejection letter today! I’m two rejections closer to finding a literary agent who wants to publish it, right? 😁🤓”

And I’ve decided that’s exactly what I am choosing to believe. 

Here’s why.

If God puts something in your heart that you know you’re supposed to do, the outcome really doesn’t matter. Truly, it just doesn’t. If this baby never gets off the ground… if this airplane never takes flight… I will still know two very important things:

1. God has asked me to do something, and He can make a way where no way seems possible.

2. My responsibility can be summed up with one word: Faithfulness.

Whether we are excluded from the table at lunch or turned down for the dream job or those 1,200 words I’ve read 1,200 times get turned down for the 45th time, Jesus is the Rock that makes every outcome secondary.

You are known, seen and loved. You are Beloved and you matter.

I am known, seen and loved. I am Beloved and I matter.

Jesus knows us, sees us, and loves us. We will be rejected by the world from time to time (and a great lack of rejection could be an indication that we are going with the flow a bit more than we should!)

Winston Churchill said, “Success if not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”

So if you’re experiencing rejection because your art doesn’t connect with the critics, or if you’re experiencing rejection because your faith doesn’t line up with everyone else’s comfortable illusions of Jesus… take heart, friend. 

Have courage to continue walking the faithful walk that consistently says “Yes” to Jesus, regardless of how the rest of the world will look at you.

You may find out the best friends you’ll ever have in this world were sitting at a different table all along.

xCC