Hey guys and dolls. Now that the survey’s in, I know that I can pretty much start most of my posts by just saying “Hey gals.” Or, ladies, muchachas…whatever the word of the day is, at any rate, the key finding is that you’re pretty much all female. Basically, if you’re reading this, you’re either female, or you’re related to me.

Or, of course, both.

Now don’t worry. That doesn’t mean I’m going to start talking about all those womanly issues related to our collective ability to conceive and bear children, but I think I’m now much more comfortable talking about the fact that sometimes I fuss at my kids and then think my hormones are probably to blame.

It is what it is.

I’ve been aiming to cater to a more gender-neutral readership, but I think I can safely stop bothering. Dudes, if you’re out there, ya better speak now or forever hold your peace.

Speaking of hormones, I will say I rather had a struggle this week with my own humanness, and that difficult fragility I wrestle which is directly related to mood swings which are directly related to that collective ability to conceive and bear children, aforementioned.

And…heavens, you gals are going to think all my revelations come in the shower… I was praying in the shower and struggling with my own soul’s inconsistency. Just frustrated with the fact that I would rather be more similar to a robot than a human when it comes to my moods.

I want to put on my makeup and my happy face and I want them both to last all day.

All, day, d’ya hear me?!?! All day!

Like this:

But they don’t. And I am disappointed with me when I’ve already fallen short of the happy standard and here it is just after breakfast — I’m just getting in the shower and the day has just started!

Somebody find the happy wagon, I need to get back on!

There in the shower words of wisdom met me and I understood them even a little more:

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” {2 Cor. 12:9a, NKJV}

I stood, freshly aware of my weakness — absolutely part of the way I was created. Absolutely related to the fall. And it was new to me, somehow, this news flash:

Self-sufficiency will get you frustrated. God-sufficiency will give you life. In Him we have everything we need for life and godliness…

Those words Paul wrote to the Corinthians continue:

“Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” {2 Cor. 12:9b}

That omnipotent Creator of ours knew all this from the start. Planned it in advance.

I am settling for a forced effort at happy, missing the unforced rhythms of thankfulness and grace, and the joy that naturally flows from their music.

The thing I like the least is my own inconsistency. My inability to get it just right. My shifting sand, heart up and down ways, which can laugh at the drop of a hat, cry over spilled milk, raise my voice with nary a second thought.

But this inconsistency, this too, becomes glorious because it brings me to Him. Had I had it all together in the shower Tuesday morning, I probably would’ve been making a mental to-do list for the day or thinking about what was clean and ready in the closet.

But my fluctuating and frustrated heart brought me to His — showed me again my need for God, my need for forgiveness, my daily debt to grace. Graciously paid for by God’s own Son.

Come here, child, I have what you need…

Isn’t that beautiful — the redemption, even of the things I don’t like about me? My non-robot ways — my wishy washy human nature, even this is good.

How would I see my need for Him, without it?

Things have been quiet for a few days here — I’ve gone another round with high impact aims, working in our home. I’ve gone an extra few minutes, sleeping in the morning, for the baby who’s doing better, but still struggling a bit at night. And I’m going a little closer to the throne — hoping to catch a glimpse of the vision He has for this wishy-washy-non-robot gal in this new place, new season.

But as always, more is on the way here.

Thank you — to all of you wonderful gals who’ve taken the survey so far. (It has — quite literally — been all gals.) The results have been priceless and encouraging.

I may be moving in more directions, making some changes around here in the days ahead, but clearly, you are here because you like, among other things, faith-based encouragement and I’m happy because that’s what I like to write about most.

Please know that my metaphorical door is always open for your comments and suggestions and feedback — whether you’d rather leave them in a comment at the bottom of a post, shoot me an email or even snail mail a letter my way.

I might wet my pants if that happened.

And I think you’ll all be glad to know at least one Aussie took the survey — and she said my site was deadly, which is apparently a good thing. {Thanks, friend!}

This non-robot woman is happy to say I’ll be keeping at it — thankful as ever for the sponsor that makes it all possible, grace.

xCC

P.S. There’s still time to take the Coming Out of the Closet survey and I sure would be glad if ya did. It’s fourteen happy questions, skip the ones you don’t like…and it’s really for you, after all.

P.P.S. My friend Tiffany wrote a great post about how aiming at excellent Mommy-ness might distract our hearts from the real goal. Worth clicking over to read it!