As usual I am enjoying your quirky blog! You write beautifully and I think you are getting better and better at it. HIGH FIVE!!!!

I have also been thinking about covetousness recently – it started because every time I went into ‘town’ (the heaving metropolis of Perth) I would spend at least 50 or 60 pounds on bits of clothing, books, food etc… and when I got home I would feel very very heavy and depressed and sick. I’ve tried to discern what is inappropriate guilt and what is a real feeling of loss due to overindulgence… but the experience has made me much more careful of on what and how much I spend.

Two things that have really helped me -

I found this quote.
“So much has been given me, I have no time to ponder that which has been denied”

Guess who said that? Helen Keller. HECTIC. This totally blew me away and inspired me – seriously, if she could say that, a lot of people could – also come to that place of gratitude by grace.

How can we also ‘not have time’ for covetousness? In the same way that trying not to think of a yellow elephant makes us think of a yellow elephant, we need to change tack entirely and occupy our thoughts with other things. Like a baby that is too young to be disciplined, distraction works wonders! ‘Here, Soul, look at this – see how it beeps/jingles/is so pretty in the sunlight…’

The second thing that helps me is an idea from Jerry Sittser, who wrote ‘The Will of God as a Way of Life’. He reviews the 10 commandments and finds the HEART of God in each of them. In “Thou shalt not covet” he shows how covetousness DIVIDES THE SELF as it is a limbo sin – desiring but not fulfilling, back and forth, back and forth. We are ‘ironically denied both the intense pleasure of obeying God, and the fleeting pleasure of sin’. Is it yes or no? Will I buy that dress or not? It’s got to be yes or no or you break your own heart (again). And if you know yourself and your God well enough, you know you know what the answer is! (And sometimes it isn’t no!)

I think the point is that when we sin we hurt our souls. I don’t want to hurt my soul. I want to be whole. Not sinning is less of a ‘denying myself’ issue for me nowadays, and more of a hedonistic longing (thanks John Piper) for wholeness – and that is SO much more of an impetus!

What do you think?

loads of love

Pammy xx

I blame Target!

These last years making the return to Edinburgh – leaving my flat, with my bed, my (ok secondhand) sofa, my kitchen, my colour coded chopping boards.

Made me realise the differences between my ‘wants’ and ‘needs’

I think what I most covet are the stuff I see my christian brothers & sisters with. ‘How come they get to have a MacBook (when I’ve still got my 4 year old iBook) or an iPhone or a funky posh camera or new shoes or new glasses or contact lenses or [insert something I'd really love to have because ...... ] and I don’t?’

With my non Christian friends I can recite Psalm 73 and think….well…they don’t have grace or whatever. But can’t do that so much with my believing friends….they get grace, Jesus & the latest gadget from Apple.

Wish I was more holy. But I’m not.