"It's in the Bible" Top Ten

Apr 30, 2009 | The Good Word, Top Ten Lists

Being from the American South, I’m intimately acquainted with cultural Christianity — the kind of Christianity that makes people feel sure they are Christians because they’ve been going to church all their lives and they don’t drink much.  One particularly interesting thing about the development of this type of ‘cultural Christianity’ is the development, along with it, of a number of ‘sayings’ and even ‘cherished proverbs’ that are most certainly God-breathed Scripture…ahem, not.  Upon responding to one of these statements with a “whereabouts in the Bible is that?” you might get a “I don’t know, but it’s in there” or a “Well my grandma said it was in there” or even a “somewhere in the middle part.” Be ye warned, friend — and put not your faith in the colloquialisms of the people!  They’ll nae hold their ground when times are tough!

Do note, there has also been a special development of a world-wide phenomena called Christianese. It probably finds its roots in the American South. This important and related topic deserves its own post on another day. In the meantime, I think we should take a moment to enjoy a few of these ‘cherised proverbs’ together.

Top Ten “Bible Quotes” Not Actually in the Bible:

10. Cleanliness is next to godliness!

9. Seriously. Black people and white people aren’t supposed to get married. [I don’t know if you’ve heard this one, but I heard it all the time growing up.]

8. This too shall pass.

7. To thine own self be true.

6. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

5. Money is the root of all evil. [Misquotation of 1 Timothy 6:10]

4. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

3. God’ll never give you more than you can handle!

2. Spare the rod, spoil the child. [This is a misquotation of Proverbs 13:24]

1. (A Personal Favourite) The Lord helps them who helps themselves.

The Sermon in a Nutshell: If you want to stand on the promises of God, make sure you know what they are!

Are YOU cool enough for the Pagans?

Apr 26, 2009 | Stories, The Good Word

I have come across this way way too often lately to overlook it and not give it some thought. A church somewhere puts on a conference, or a worship service, and somehow, the video of that service gets on youtube. Oh no. The people are worshiping by spinning their socks or shoes in the air to a Christianese remake of a secular song, or they’re dancing to some random song about victory with these out-of-date 80s moves, or heaven forbid, the name of their band is “Sonseed” and they’re kicking “Jesus is a friend of mine” like it’s the hippest tune to hit the airwaves since kumbaya. And then…the real ‘Christianity’ starts coming out.

Christians, one after another — including myself — start passing the link to the video on to each other, and commenting on the site: “Check out these idiots.” or “Seriously, this is the worst worship service I’ve ever seen.” or “I am so embarrassed to even be a Christian right now.” And these posts turn into arguments even — back and forth one kid saying “I go to a Christian school and my teacher says this is the worst worship service ever and we watched it in class.” Meanwhile another is saying “Go, you guys!  That was really cool. Praise God!”  Odds are if you have been on the internet anytime in the last two years, you’ve seen some of these videos, commented on them, passed them along, or at least laughed at them.

But seriously. Is that what this Christian thing is about?  Why are we, as Christians, so frustrated when we come across videos like this? Why do we make fun of them, and feel it’s important to let the ‘world’ know that we don’t approve and that real Christians are way cooler than that? The question I’m getting to: WHY do we feel the need to be cool enough for the pagans? (And forgive this terminology — we can discuss it in another post.) Is anyone flocking to your church because the people dress cool and the worship is well-stylized and it’s, like, the happening place to be seen? If so, then they’re flocking for the wrong reasons.

It seems to me that this generation will be more impressed by seeing people so passionate about their faith that they don’t care what anyone thinks. And if that means (even though this isn’t really my personal favourite) grabbing a contemporary song and turning it into a song about Jesus, and worshiping to it, jumping up and down with your socks in the air, then by all means. If that means doing a totally random 70s-80s style dance in front of this weird backdrop with the weirdest choreographed solo ever, then so be it.  The point is — these people are doing their best with the talents they’ve got to bring honour and glory to God. Who are we to decide what might or might not be pleasing to Him?

If they’re preaching that Jesus is not the Son of God and that He didn’t die for the sins of the world — okay, here’s where we do our best to step in and say “Wait, wait, that’s not what Christians believe!” But if they’re doing the funky chicken to a faith-filled rendition of a Destiny’s Child song, maybe we should just let it be. The more ‘together’ the body of Christ is, in saying, hey, we worship this One, Amazing God, the better.

This spills over into some other areas as well — being critical of certain pastors and their preaching “The tallest trees catch the most wind” — and someone, obviously a Christian, takes the time to post a preacher’s sermon on youtube, and put verses over top of it that demonstrate how it disagrees with Scripture.  Where does this stuff come from?

Here are my thoughts, if you’re interested.

1. John 13 — Jesus said “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” I don’t think I need to explain that.

2. The Parable of the Wheat and the Tares (Matthew 12: 24 – 30) — Yes, the enemy is constantly sowing “weeds among the wheat” but we are not instructed to try to go out and pull up weeds right now. Jesus (the farmer) said we shouldn’t go out and try to pull up the weeds, because in doing so, we might accidentally pull up the wheat at the same time. Instead, both the weeds and wheat will grow up together, and at the harvest — at the judgement — the reapers will separate out the weeds from the wheat. Understand this — God will judge the thoughts and deeds of each of us, because while we can only look at outer appearances, He can look at the heart. Let God separate the weed from the wheat — we should go about the business of studying the Scriptures so that we can be faithful to do what He has told us to do, for example, go back to number 1.

3. Paul’s Example (Philippians 1:15-18) People were preaching Christ for selfish reasons in Paul’s day, and perhaps they are doing the same thing today. Some were preaching in hopes of adding affliction to Paul, others out of love, knowing that Paul was truly a disciple. His response: “What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is preached; and in this I rejoice, yes, and will rejoice.”

The Sermon in a Nutshell: I am absolutely preaching to myself here. I am quick to criticize a brother or sister with whom I disagree, a sermon that I’m uncertain of, or, especially, some goofy Christians worshiping in a way that doesn’t seem cool. But my conviction is that if we say we are Christians, we need to love each other. We get enough persecution from the world without adding to it by beating each other up. Yes, we will often disagree, but let’s rejoice in the common ground — Christ is being preached and glorified — and that’s the business we’re here to be about.

xCC

I Married a Sinner, and So Did He.

Apr 19, 2009 | Stories, The Good Word

So these thoughts might seem to be for an exclusive portion of the blogging audience, but if you ever think you might get married, or have a flatmate, or basically have any sort of relationship with another person, feel free to tune back in, because I think they’re probably applicable. As a lot of things in life do, this married life has its seasons — seasons where everything is scrumdiddlyumptious and you’re whistling while you work, and seasons where you think, “Um…is this what I signed up for?” If you’ve experienced anything like that, in any relationship, fear not, friend — you are not alone.

Yesterday, I noticed, as it sometimes happens, that Mark (my husband) and I were for lack of a better way of putting it, sort of nipping at each other’s heels.  Still doing our best to try to communicate our love to each other, show kindness to each other, and so on, but nevertheless somehow managing to disagree on everything from what a word means to whether or not the baby needed a blanket when we went for a walk with the pram.  Yesterday was Asher’s 8 month birthday (yay!) so we went for a wee hike up Arthur’s Seat, and although we were out of the flat and in the fresh air (and even a little sunshine) that slight “itch” or discontent lingered.

I had plenty of time this morning before church to spend time with the Lord, and I brought these thoughts to Him to say, “Lord, what is this thing that makes it feel like Mark and I are singing from different hymnals or playing for different teams?” [That’s pretty much a direct quote.] “Where does that come from?” The Lord was quick to remind me, unfortunately, that I am a sinner, and news flash, I also married a sinner.  Dang that’s tough!  And my direct realisation from that (thanks, Lord) — if sinners are anything, they’re selfish.  And so we are. We are going to act selfishly throughout this crazy thing called marriage, and as a result, we are sometimes going to hurt each other. But the lesson doesn’t end there.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to continually turn to the Lord, to keep being transformed by the renewing of your mind with God’s Truth, so that you can answer God’s call to be a servant — to love and serve one another with the love you’ve already been shown by Jesus. What I’m realising is that Mark and I keep falling back into the pattern of trying to keep tabs on “who’s doing what” and, perhaps more specifically, “who’s doing more.” We are so selfish! Somewhere deep down in our hearts, we don’t want to give too much — we don’t want to give more than the other person, and in some way be taken advantage of. We want to give just enough for it to be even and fair, and let’s be honest, we’re going to have pretty different opinions on what even and fair look like.

How do we change the way this looks? The basic principle the Lord has reminded us of over and over again is that because of our actions, we’re always spiraling in one direction, or another. If we work at loving and serving one another, if we train our hearts to want to go so far as to out-do each other with kindness, then the spiral starts moving in the right direction. One person serves and loves the other, and builds the other up in love and in confidence of that love and faithfulness, and the other person, in turn, is motivated to serve and love the first even more. Alternatively, if that first person acts selfishly, and it appears to the second person that the first is acting out of self-interest, then the day might look a lot like a game of spoons, where each person is grabbing for their own spoon, even if they have to jump across the table to get it. So the first person acts out of self-interest “Om, I’m pretty sure I changed the last poopy diaper…” and the second retorts “But I washed the dishes and gave the baby his bath.” And so the spiral continues in an outward direction, pulling the two apart, in the direction of their own selfish needs. If this isn’t caught in time, the two are so far apart they wonder how things ever got that way, if they can ever work it out, and if not, who gets the house and who gets the kids on the weekends.

Thanks be to God, who demonstrated to us the truest act of selfLESSness — sending His Son to die on a cross for the sins of us selfish human beings. He promises that “If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7) If we’re following the example Jesus set for us, we will work at loving and serving one another, without concern for being taken advantage of. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Mark, please forgive me for being such a selfish sinner!  I love you, and I continue to desire to love and to serve you for the rest of my days. It is a joy to be your wife. Please join me to praise the Lord who has forgiven me already! May He help us to keep the spiral going in the right direction for the rest of our time on Earth.

xCC

Gym Buddy

Apr 18, 2009 | Stories, The Good Word

While I was last back in the States, my sister and I had a good time working out together. She played the part of Jillian the trainer, from America’s Biggest Loser show, and I played the part of one of the chubby folks trying to drop some poundage. Lots of fun. When I got back to Scotland, I was blessed with beginning to work out with my sweet friend Sarah. We’ve been having a blast taking turns making up workouts for ourselves, and working really hard.

So…sad news…Sarah is on a mission trip in Nepal right now. And I have to go work hard at the gym by myself.  We were doing lots of random moderate to high intensity stuff, mixing up cardio and strength, walking on the treadles while doing arm workouts with a medicine ball, etc. etc. And I have now discovered that that was lots of fun while there was another silly American for me to look goofy with, but now that I’m by myself, I feel like a cotton-headed ninnymuggins.

What is it about having two people that makes doing something goofy seem totally okay?  The day before yesterday I was doing pull-ups underneath the treadmill (thanks Jillian — I mean Dodi) and then doing “total body burners” (extended push-ups) off the end of the treadmill.  By the time I got to the last couple, I was sweating and even grunting a little to get through them. A personal trainer was right there stretching out one of his clients, and I could just feel the piercing stare. I was just thinking “I need my gym buddy! I’m not a ninnymuggins, really!”

The sermon in a nutshell: There’s definitely a reason Jesus sent the disciples out in twos.

xCC

Top Ten For A Crackin’ Proper Scottish Wedding

Apr 16, 2009 | Scotland, Stories, Top Ten Lists

We attended a wonderful wedding in the highlands this weekend, on Easter Sunday, where our friend Claire got married. It was absolutely stunning.

There were some delightful moments along the way that made me think… there are many folks around the world who would like to plan a destination wedding in Scotland. With my experience of uh… two Scottish weddings…perhaps I’ll clue them in on how to make it a proper Scotsman’s event!

10. Choose a delightfully gorgeous venue, preferably in the Scottish highlands, where out-of-town guests will pass a few castles and half a dozen lochs to get there.

9. Choose a proper wee, bonnie Church of Scotland church, in a wee highland village. Pure dead brilliant!

8. At least a third of the gentleman in attendance should be wearing kilts. This is very important. If there is a baby there dressed in a kilt, well then that’s just an added bonus.

7. Encourage a few of the congregants to have a wee dram of whisky while they’re sitting in the church pew, waiting for the bride’s arrival.

6. The bride should be piped in by a proper player of the bagpipes, dressed in full regalia.

5. As the bride arrives, she should shout something very Scottish, like “What am I like?!” from outside the church, as she’s preparing to come in, so that everyone inside will hear and have a giggle.

4. Following the ceremony, the bride and groom should be piped through the streets of the wee village to the reception venue. Congregation should follow.

3. The speeches will not be complete without a good bit of humour almost crossing the boundaries of propriety. They should most certainly be filled with cheeky cracks at the bride and groom, and hopefully also make a bash or two at England because, well, it’s England, and it’s not Scotland.

2. The event must end with a ceilidh (pronounced KAY-lee), which is for lack of a better explanation, kind of like a squaredance. This delightful moment should climax with the singing of Auld Lang Syne, with the bride and groom in the centre of the circle.

1. During the ceremony, the church should be filled with praises to God. The sound of the Scots – once a people so on fire for the Lord Jesus- worshiping their creator in such a lovely and worshipful venue, is unlike any other! I’ve yet to meet a more passionate people on the face of the Earth — and their passion is truly inspiring, when turned to Jesus.

Congratulations, Claire & Andy!  It was a privilege to be a part of your special day! We rejoice with you at what’s ahead!

xCC